::Note to self: Do not take daughter to Scotland after the year 2003::
I always address dress code issues at Open House when I meet the parents. I tell them what is acceptable and what is not, and then I repeat the rules every day for the first week of school. I’ve only had to send one girl home this year, and I felt completely justified doing it. I am starting to hate this trend though of girls wearing black bras under light-colored shirts. I’m sure I’m going to have to start policing that.
And about the boy’s pants: it’s not sexy; it’s just slovenly. The way girls are dressing is sexual in nature, which is much more disturbing than just a silly trend.
I don’t want to make any blazing generalizations, but I do think the whole pop-megastar-Britney-Christina thing has a lot to do with it. When you look at someone like Britney, who dresses, behaves, and entertains in an adult way, and yet markets herself (via clothes, dolls, toys, hair accessories et al) to 10 year old girls, then I think that can be pinpointed as a cause.
My best friend’s little sister was allowed to rent a limo for her 12th birthday (about ten kids and three chaperones, myself included, cruised the city for four hours). There was one girl with a thong hanging out of her low-cut bootie pants and a black belt that said “I like boys!” in white graffiti print. Another girls was wearing this impossibly tight, sheer shirt with a lacy bar underneath and jeans. The girl did not even need a training bra, but you sure got an eyeful of her pre-adolscent bubbies. The majority of the girls were dressed preppy GAP, though.
I must say that I clearly remember being 14 and realizing I had some sort of sex appeal. I used to wear “Daisy Dukes” (they were in style then, I swear) - super short shorts. I wore them with little t-shirts and sneakers, mostly. But I had to walk home from school, and I remember getting honked at or cars slowing and men staring as I walked along, so I quickly grew out of that phase and never really went back. I don’t think it necessarily predetermines anything - I didn’t start having sex at 15 or anything. But I think it’s fucked up that girls are expected to spend so much time on their “look” when they should be thinking about schoolwork. (Esh, when did I start sounding like my mother?)
Being a teenage boy (15 three months ago), I can say that I don’t particularily mind the trend, but there are some limits that it becomes wrong.
There was a great “What Do You Think?” on The Onion about this a while back. One of the responses was “I think it’s terrible. Frickin’ jailbait cockteases.”
My youngest niece is 11 years old. Although she has friends that wear clothes like that, she’s never expressed any desire to. She goes shopping with her mom and they come to a consensus about what she’s going to get. But she’s not really a typical kid her age. She’s still a little girl. She still loves to play with her baby dolls. But I do know that her mom would no more let her out of the house dressed like that than she would spend her hard-earned money buying those clothes.
StG
Oh trust me, sometimes they up to 7/8ths naked.
Another was something like:
“It’s getting so you can’t tell the good girls from the sluts anymore.”
…
umm. Terrible social problem though.
The worst case of half naked teen girl I ever saw was an obviously pregnant 15/16 year old with low rise jeans, and a tight half top t-shirt.
All I could think is if that is how she dressed before she got pregnant …
It was really sad - but also funny.
Speaking as a 17-year-old guy, this can be a problem. I certainly don’t mind it when some of my more attractive peers come to school dressed in… very little. In fact, I dig it.
The problem comes when I go to the mall and find my head turning towards 12-13 year-old girls. I’ve figured out what this is: if I were in some bizarro world where everyone is naked I would be able to ignore these girls, but as it is they cover themselves in the trappings of sexually mature girls and my brain reacts. If they wear clothes that raise them to that pedestal of an attractive potential mate my head turns, and then when I realize what I’m looking at I get confused.
Dammit! You are not of an age to display sexuality! You’re throwing off my sex-o-scope readings here! Until you have something to barely cover, refrain from barely covering it, you! Yeah!
LC
As a male ninth grade teacher I have to confront this issue almost daily. Our school dress code forbids such dress, but it is surely a losing battle. Many of the parents don’t know their daughters are dressing like this because the kids are changing into their slut costumes at school. This then puts me in the delicate position of having to deal with it: As a grown man, I shouldn’t really be looking for or even noticing that my student’s 14 year old breasts are flapping in the breeze and their thong underwear are riding up around their shoulderblades, and I’m always afraid that mentioning it to the offending student will result in my being labeled a pervert. I could ignore it, but such scenery IS a distraction to the hormonally-challenged male students in my class. The punishment for slut-dress is a trip to the VP office where they are given a smelly old baggy sweatshirt to wear and a phone call is made to the parents who must come to school with a new change of clothes. I do pray that this fad dies out before my 5 year old daughter starts to become fashion-conscious.
I think that in the future, people with any degree of sophistication will debate the great issues of their time merely by quoting to each other from The Onion. Sorta like in that Star Trek episode.
“11-Year-Old Girl has ‘Porn Star’ T-shirt, Vague Idea of What Sex Is”
–Cliffy
As a 19 year girl (well more woman now I suppose) I find what a lot of the younger girls are wearing offensive. I never wore anything like what they do when I was that age and even now I don’t. I have one pair of low slung jeans and very, very few shorter tops. It’s scary knowing all these girls run around like that and have guys pick them up.
I definately agree that Britney and Christina have a bit to do with this. It also doesn’t help that these things are marketed towards them. I have a number of younger female cousins and I certainly hope they don’t start to dress like that.
As a Girl Guide leader as well I see a lot of girls who have major attitudes (well not a lot but they really stick in my mind) and even when we go camping wear that kind of thing. You don’t wear tanks and low slung and such when camping! Who are you going to impress anyway? Certainly not us leaders nor the other girls. They also don’t wear and tear very well in the great outdoors.
I cerainly hope this trend will fade soon. If only for peace of mind that my cousins and troop don’t have anything bad happen to them.
i’m almost 15, maybe i can share some younger opinions here. i agree there are limits as to where clothes should be stopped. since i’m in high school, most people here are mature enough to make their own desicions about their dress and do it fine. but it’s the younger kids i’m worried about. we shouldn’t really be having 11-12 year olds running around in short shorts and tube tops. but i think you people are cutting the limit wrong here. kids know what they’re doing by about age 14-16, depending. so ease up a bit. it’s they’re choice.
but i agree on the guys pulling up pants. i don’t want to see anyones butt, whether it be guy or girl.
If you haven’t taught your kid to be self-confident, a leader of men, or an individualist that’s unafraid to stray from the pack, then let them wear whatever the hell they need to fit in. All you’ve taught them is depression.
I am actually a bit frightened at this new trend, and with youth in general. During the elections last month or so, I made conversation with two 10 or so year old boys, and just got blown away. This is a little transcript of my conversation:
I see two boys sitting on a bench, and one has a basketball and the most wierd goggle things on. Being naive and curious, I sidle up and ask him: Hey, what’s up with the goggles?"
Boy 1: (In total sarcasm) Um, Have you ever heard of a sport called, BASKETBAll?
Me, a bit put off: Uh, yeah…
Him: Okay, Step ONE… PROTECT YOUR EYES! (said in again sarcastic tone with exaggerated gesticulations toward his eyes)
Me: …
Him: Your SUCH a dork
Me, somewhat amused, takes the asinine route: Dude, do you even know what dork means?
Him (Yes, still sarcastic): Hmm, I don’t know; I’ll make one up… IDIOT!
Me: It means penis, man. (I know this might have been provoking, but hey, I was bored)
Him: Yeah, I bet you don’t have one
Little @%*!
But he isn’t the worst. In my associacion with the young children, i have learned several new cuss words, and heard all the traditional ones repeatedly. This whole “Bad ass skater” persona really bothers me, especially when freaking elementary school kids do it.
Anyway, yeah, 12-year old girls dressing up as sluts to try to fulfill some sort of Britney/Christina vision wierds me out. Danke
Do they really know what they are doing? I realize you’re young… I am too… and I still shudder at how naive I was then, and I probably will shudder years from now at how naive I am now. You’re right, it is their choice. But sometimes adults, especially parents, have to place limits on things. There are good reasons why we are talking as we are. I realize not all men are pedophiles but they are out there. This sort of thing garners unwanted behavior and attention (though yes that doesn’t always stop them… but it certainly doesn’t help!)
The age for dressing like that keeps pushing down and down, I’ve seen girls who couldn’t be older than 7 and 8 wearing stuff like that. It’s way too young. Yes this is the age of exploring for them, but do we really want them to explore themselves into being exploited?
As to 14-16, yes they should have some leeway with what they wear, but it’s sickening and sad to see themselves like that. It’s like they are trying to become sluts.
I doubt you are confused at all. Obviously they are attractive. Why is this so hard to admit? You don’t have to marry them, sleep with them, confess to having desires of raping them. All you have to say is that they are attractive.
It is a strange twist of fate that to admit that someone is attractive is to condemn onesself to social leprosy.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with girls recognizing their sexuality and expressing it however they want, and they certainly must learn to express it some time or other. It is a shame (to some, and I can sympathize) that it is becoming a trend, but even that it is it isn’t because of us pandering to pedophiles. Mainstream media did this to your daughters, America.
This is obviously false. As you say, you were atracted to her.
As a 35 year old male, I find this appalling. The rare occasions I have to go to a mall and see girls like that my first thought is “gee, her folks let her out like that”. And if that is not enough, if the mother is present I will sometimes think “wow, the mom is cute”. Sigh, just what I need, another reminder I am getting older. 
I think fashion recycles every few years.
In my area, its pretty cold so we don’t get a lot of skimpy clothes. But there is plenty of it at the beach 