Halloweenie Whines (Mini-Rants)

[overlyverbose]

This is more based on confusion rather than outrage. My daughter is four, about to turn five next month. I went to drop her at preschool the other day and her teacher pulls me aside to tell me in an urgent, quiet voice, about a boy in her class who told her to lift her skirt and show him her privates.

She and I have talked about the fact that her body is her own and she is absolutely not required to do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable (also, public nudity is not appropriate). So, her response was apparently to demand, “Are you crazy?!” and then go tell the teacher, who immediately stopped the behavior and notified the boy’s parents.

Apparently this boy had made the same “request” of several other little girls, who all complied. I asked a few more questions (was there anything sexual in nature about his requests, please tell me exactly what happened, how long has it been happening, has it happened before, etc.), then asked my daughter some questions. She hasn’t expressed any fear of preschool, any concerns about this kid, etc. so I made sure to tell her she’d done absolutely the right thing and that I was proud of her for standing her ground. She was fine, the kid was being watched, so we moved on.

I was annoyed and not a little grossed out, but then I was thinking, “Well, the kid is four. My son was shaking his junk at us at the same age until we managed to get through to him that it was completely inappropriate. As long as he wasn’t mimicking sexual acts, it’s kind of gross (particularly for adults), but not completely unexpected of a four year old.”

Anyway, a week later, I was informed that the little boy had been withdrawn from the school and his parents were seeking treatment for him. It’s easy for me to say that as the parent of the kid who refused, but I can’t help but be a little confused. Is treatment for something like that necessary?

I’m not happy with the situation, but at the same time, I’m more concerned about being advised that the kid is seeking treatment. It tells me that the kid either has more serious problems than I’m aware of (and that I probably have no business knowing about, but he was in contact with my kid) or that the preschool is extremely reactionary and either kicked the parents out or otherwise encouraged the kid to leave as a result of potentially normal behavior or some combination thereof. I’m honestly not quite sure what to think and can’t wait until my daughter begins kindergarten.

[Sattua]

That is an interesting situation, overlyverbose. I would be having the same thoughts in your place. I guess what it comes down to is that they can’t keep one customer who might drive away multiple other customers–or bring a lawsuit down on their heads. Has nothing to do with the human aspect of the question, it’s 100% business.

[LavenderBlue]

Ten minutes, five unwanted telemarketing and political phone calls.

Die, telemarketers, DIE!

[overlyverbose]

@Sattua

That is an interesting situation, overlyverbose. I would be having the same thoughts in your place. I guess what it comes down to is that they can’t keep one customer who might drive away multiple other customers–or bring a lawsuit down on their heads. Has nothing to do with the human aspect of the question, it’s 100% business.

Yeah, I guess I’m thinking, well, if their true purpose is to encourage kids to grow and develop, just give the kid an opportunity to learn socially acceptable behavior. If this is the kid’s first time in preschool (I think his mom is a SAHM), he honestly might not have been around other kids much and, if so, it’s possible he’s not well-versed in appropriate behavior with other children. There’s no way for a kid to learn socially acceptable behavior without being in social situations with peers.

On the other hand, like I said, my daughter didn’t give into any pressure, so it’s easy for me to say. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what the whole situation looks like and I have no idea what my daughter’s reaction would be if she hadn’t refused. But with the very limited information available to me, the notion of treatment seems like a HUGE overreaction unless there are other issues and, to me, demonstrates the adults’ biases rather than the kid’s intentions.

[Helena330]

overlyverbose, I hope the other little girls saw how your daughter handled it!

[MLS]

@Finagle

I encountered the as yet uncrowned Queen of the Universe yesterday and it ticked me off.

I was heading into the local farm store (always packed on weekends, as it’s a bit of a tourist trap) and stopped to let a family leave. Mom and Dad came out and (I presume) their adult daughter stopped dead, blocking the door, eyes glued to her cell phone, completely oblivious to the outside world. A few seconds passed – long enough to make it clear that only the complete collapse of the wireless network was going to get her to obey the dictates of civilized society and move her ass out of the door. Her parents looked back and actually had to tell her “That gentleman wants to use the door” just about the time my disbelief generated a sort of involuntary sotto voce “come on!”

Bitch gave me a "what the fuck's the problem with you?" look and swept past radiating outrage.     Because that text message was *important* and your convenience means nothing to the as yet uncrowned Queen of the Universe.

Yes, I know it’s the most micro of micro rants, but my long-standing belief is that the minimum level of courtesy necessary to oil the friction of interactions with strangers is to pay attention and get the hell out of the way. You don’t chat on staircases, you don’t block sidewalks, you drive the speed limit on narrow roads, and you try not to make other people’s days just that little bit more miserable. Unless, of course, you are the as yet uncrowned Queen of the Universe.

I find that a simple “Excuse me, please,” does wonders in these situations.

[cochrane]

@MLS

I find that a simple “Excuse me, please,” does wonders in these situations.

And he would have gotten the same stink-eye from the AYUQU in return.

[aruvqan]

@DrDeth

In many Kingdoms, documentation is as important as the item itself. I have judged a couple, and bemoan the fact the the hands-down best entry had no documentation at all, thus lost to the second best, which had great docs.

Back in 1978 documentation was a bit shifty … people were still wearing elf ears [the pre vampire fang issue sigh SCA was originally a bunch of Tolkien and fantasy fans with the urge to have a medieval party and it turned into an organization.] Hell, the bedsheet t-tunic and bedsheet chiton were still very popular for beginners, and my first armor was a freon can helm and carpet armor. I was coming off of a massive Masterpiece game marathon - my brother and I had both been sick and went home to Mom and got stuck playing whatever board games we had on hand. Between that, and the collection of coffee table books of all the major artists, I was moderately familiar with italian renn clothing and decided to make a renn. Oddly enough, my Mom helped out by giving me a stack of no shit, real 100% linen table cloths and sheets to play with so I had the right weights of cloth for different parts of the project, and her stash of RIT dye. I had my own stash of embroidery floss in silk form some earlier Christmas present projects and nothing but time.

I got cheesed off at the mental abuse going on in the SCA about 7 years back and more or less rage quit … there is something about grumping at the idiots who do modern stuff and get AoAs, the requirement to suck up to a Laurel or Pelican to even be considered for one when one has been doing and teaching at the Laurel master level for years … and being told I had an ‘attitude problem’ - when I had been doing and teaching several different arts, and performing lots of services and not getting the higher level awards [I have an AoA and a baronial level service award, for some 15 years of nonpublicized work.] Just about when I quit Isabella of York and Antioch was apparently trying to fast track me … shrug. If she had thought I was laurel quality, she should have made me a laurel, not try to convince me to apprentice to any number of people that I have no respect for.

[and by modern stuff, I am very specifically referring to someone who had been in the SCA for a few months, and had cross stitched a backgammon board and given it to the Queen … and got a court baronetcy.]

[DrDeth]

@aruvqan

Back in 1978 documentation was a bit shifty …

I got cheesed off at the mental abuse going on in the SCA about 7 years back and more or less rage quit … there is something about grumping at the idiots who do modern stuff and get AoAs, the requirement to suck up to a Laurel or Pelican to even be considered for one when one has been doing and teaching at the Laurel master level for years … and being told I had an ‘attitude problem’ -

True.

I have been told the same thing, but I have a Pel (etc) and never sucked up to anyone. It does take longer, true.

It’s the same in any Org, really. In Scouting, the local Explorer troop was run by a notorious douchebag who hated my “slacker attitude” (I didn’t go for Eagle), so I stayed on as a Senior scout then leader, then was told “Well you’re kinda old (19!) and not married so it looks funny you hanging around younger boys”.:mad:

[Roderick_Femm]

@cochrane

And he would have gotten the same stink-eye from the AYUQU in return.

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe she was responding to the impatience in the (possibly not-so) sotto voce “come on!”.

Not everyone is always paying perfect attention; that doesn’t make them some kind of monster. It might even happen to one of you one day that you find yourself in someone’s way. If you hear a polite “Excuse me” I predict a different reaction from you than if you hear someone muttering to himself “come on!”

I confess that this has been a hard-won lesson for me, and it took longer than it should have for me to learn it. Feel free to benefit from my many extra years of experience.

[Chimera]

I’d probably just clear my throat, although I often say ‘Excuse me’ too.

But hey, if you want to give me the stink eye when YOU do something clueless, I’ll be happy to call you a moron/idiot/jackass.

People standing cluelessly in door ways deserve whatever they get, just like the people who walk through a door into a ballroom/conference/store and stop dead to look around, oblivious to the people behind them who would equally like to use that door. Or get to the bottom/top of an escalator and stop. Had that happen to me last week. Not like I could stop and wait behind her.

[Morgyn]

@LavenderBlue

Ten minutes, five unwanted telemarketing and political phone calls.

Die, telemarketers, DIE!

T-Lock Call Blocker. I’ve had mine only a couple of days. The block on calls without caller ID is bliss.

[MLS]

Maybe people are just nicer to old ladies, but my experience is that after I say, “Excuse me, please,” the usual response is to say a slightly embarrassed, “Oh, I’m sorry!”

[flatlined]

@kayT

Actually you can take knitting needles on planes, of course depending if the personnel you run into decide to be a##holes. I have pointed out (heh: pointed) that I could do as much if not more damage with a pencil or ballpoint as with a knitting needle. I do use bamboo ones on the plane, though as they don’t look quite so vicious as the steel.

Ignorance fought, thank you I am not a knitter, and had no idea if they would be allowed. I always get questioned about my small needles. As I mentioned above, it was just a lame joke that made the rounds a while back. I probably shouldn’t have posted it.

So, back to asshole cats…I went home at lunch and noticed that the boxes had been used, so I scooped them. One of the boxes has a hood because one of our cats likes her privacy. I left the hood on the floor while I ran out to the street to drop the bag in the trash before the truck got there and took a minute to exchange greetings with a neighbor. When I got back inside, some asshole cat had gone into the hood and peed on the floor. ASSHOLE CATS!!! Its a good thing they are so cute.

[Finagle]

@Roderick_Femm

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe she was responding to the impatience in the (possibly not-so) sotto voce “come on!”.

A polite but firm “pardon me” is the approach I would usually take in similar situations. But I was too gobsmacked by the general weirdness of it – the girl was following her parents out the door of a busy store, so the basic expectation was that she’d keep going. But she just stopped there, right in the doorway, like she was raised by a family of wild cats. So it wasn’t so much of a “pardon me” situation as a “well, of course she’s going to move any moment now, right? I mean, she’s with some people who are walking away from the door. Annnny moment now…”

I really think that normal social conventions and cues just fall apart when you encounter the yuQotU which is why everyone’s day gets just a tiny bit crummier.

[grude]

I’ve been sent to mail stuff by my employer before, mostly registered mail. Today they sent me with registered mail AND one I was supposed to get a sig return on.

Never done that before, wasn’t informed of anything about it much less the cost.

Hand everything to the young postal clerk, he doesn’t say a word as he is weighing them all(they usually call out the postage amount for each) he also applies the stamps himself and cancels them(I offered to apply them but was rebuffed, saves time usually) then he comes with the total and it is very high but hey I dunno maybe the sig confirm is expensive right?

I walk back in when I see on the receipt the crazy postage on each envelope, I’m telling him something was wrong and he is trying to lecture me when I say your scale says 58 grams even though nothing is on it. Senior employee comes and clears the scale.

Everything I mailed was more than doubled in price. :smack:

[SeaDragonTattoo]

@Finagle

A polite but firm “pardon me” is the approach I would usually take in similar situations. But I was too gobsmacked by the general weirdness of it – the girl was following her parents out the door of a busy store, so the basic expectation was that she’d keep going. But she just stopped there, right in the doorway, like she was raised by a family of wild cats. So it wasn’t so much of a “pardon me” situation as a “well, of course she’s going to move any moment now, right? I mean, she’s with some people who are walking away from the door. Annnny moment now…”

I really think that normal social conventions and cues just fall apart when you encounter the yuQotU which is why everyone’s day gets just a tiny bit crummier.

Yeah, I’ve run across this kind of thing, where it seems most reasonable to just give them a few beats in their moment of distraction. Then after a few beats, when I figure they’re not going to realize their gaffe and just put one foot in front of the other, I usually forget my manners and out comes from my mouth something like, “Ugh. Really.” As an exasperated statement. If that doesn’t get their attention, a sharp “HEY. You’re in everybody’s way,” does the trick.

If it’s something like a grocery aisle, I always start with a polite “excuse me” because I wear quiet shoes and usually don’t use a cart, so they really don’t know I’m behind them. Starting off with an attitude in a case like that would be really rude.

[grude]

@SeaDragonTattoo

If it’s something like a grocery aisle, I always start with a polite “excuse me” because I wear quiet shoes and usually don’t use a cart, so they really don’t know I’m behind them. Starting off with an attitude in a case like that would be really rude.

This works good in any kind of situation, just say “excuse me” and unless you’re dealing with a nut spoiling for a fight they will usually move so you can pass.

[Morgyn]

Poop. I enjoy Jack McDevitt’s books, and one of my favorites is A Talent for War. I especially liked the character of Christopher Sim, and wanted to know more about what happened to him after his rescue from exile. From the description on the Subterranean Press website, I thought this collection of short stories had a story like that.

Nope. What it had was a couple of short stories that had been reworked to become part of the book. I has a disappointment.

[Nava]

@DrDeth

Probiotics helps with this.

Can cats have yoghurt? If they can, mixing some yoghurt with their food might be an easy and cheap way to add probiotics.
I was accused of having “a lousy attitude” for shifting my backpack. Note that I was a customer and the accuser in question was the ticket-taker. I still don’t see how shifting one’s backpack indicates “a lousy attitude”. Now, when I gave him the finger, yes, THAT was an attitude.