Since this is more of an opinion poll, I’ll move it to In My Humble Opinion.
Cajun Man ~ SDMB Moderator
I did it once after meeting a girl at a party and talking for a few hours. I’m not sure why I did it, but I wanted to let her know I was interested without being too forward.
She called me the next day, and I’m none too suave so it can be pulled off.
I vote for stupid, absolutely. 99% of the time you’re going to look both creepy and like you’re trying too hard.
Stick with explosive flatulence. Now that’s a conversation starter!
As others have said, it depends on the guy doing it. In general, I’m uncomfortable with too much physical contact with people I’ve just met anyway. Nobody’s tried the hand kiss on me, and I’ve only had one person do the cheek kiss thing when he met me. He was one of my dad’s friends - not a skeevy guy, he had just been living in Spain and I think that was just his way. It was a little awkward for me, but just because I’m not used to too much physical contact with strangers. Anyway, I guess hand kissing with people you’ve just met is pretty much proceed at your own risk.
BTW, brainfizz, I don’t know about in the UK, but etiquette is not usually taught in public schools in the U.S. There are finishing schools here, but they sound (to me) creepily reminiscent of the antebellum south. Anyway, hand kissing doesn’t really come up too often.
ronincyberpunk “Someone referred to kissing above the hand - I apologize I am about to run out the door and cannot find who it was. There is a website out there which covers etiquette of the hand kiss but I have been told it is a crock of shite for the most part.”
That would be me. Sorry, but whomever told you that didn’t give you the whole story. Granted, it appears every website out there has a different verdict on this issue.
I’ve got my ancient edition of Amy Vanderbilt open on my lap right now, and that venerable goddess of etiquette says smootching of the hand is generally frowned upon. If you must, keep the lips off if you’ve just met her. A light touch of the lips is acceptable after you’ve been properly introduced, etc. Follow what brainfizz wrote and you’ll be fine.
I think the charm of the hand kiss comes from a certain sense of spontaneity. If it comes across like it’s part of a routine, like a pickup line, then it’s cheesy. However, if it just comes out (or if it’s done with a sense of humor), it’s very charming.
I felt extremly uncomfortable the few times guys did this. It doesn’t matter if the guys is even gorgeous. One time it had been an extremly cute guy and I thought it was just too corney.
Hand kissing isn’t an american custom and, IMO, american guys attempting it tend to look kind of… doofy. When I lived in Sicily, Sicilian gentlemen often kissed my hand – they did it properly, not actually kissing my hand, but bowing over it and air-kissing an inch or so above it. That was fine – nice even. But european guys can get away with a lot of things that american guys look peculiar imulating. The wearing of Speedo-style bathing suits is another example of this phenomenon. Anyway, I’ve also had american guys kiss my hand and, typically, they do it wrong, actually kissing the hand. So, if you’re gonna do it, at least do it right.
BTW, one (american) guy actually took my hand and lifted it to his lips and turned it over and kissed the palm. With tongue! :eek: Now that was creepy. Of course, he was a pretty creepy guy, anyway. The kind of guy you suspect may have heads in his freezer.
It would completely freak me out. Of course, I come from a culture that avoids physical contact between the sexes, and allows handshaking only in situations where avoiding it would embarrass the other person. The problem is that unless you know how to look for an Orthodox Jewish female (the guys are obviously easier to spot), I look like any other American girl, so don’t go kissing any hands over here in the Bronx ;j .
Hey, it worked for Brooke Shields. (Friends reference. I am ashamed.)
I do hand kissing all the time.
But never as a greeting. Only to girls I’m actually going out with. As a greeting, it’s lame and presumptuous, IMO. As a sign of affection it’s still pretty cool.
Thank you, Mockingbird, I appreciate the support.
:dubious:
Rather fascinating and detailed guide you have there, brainfizz.
IMHO…
The only times I’ve liked it are when I’ve already known that I’m interested in the guy. Think about it - the woman is unlikely to be expecting it, and could easily feel as though it was being forced upon her. Is that the way you want to start off? If she’s already interested in you, then it becomes charming because anything you do is charming.
I realise that this isn’t the most helpful guideline - it’s just that I think it’s too intimate coming from someone you either don’t know or don’t like.
Like others have already stated. It depends upon the guy. And the way he does it.
So far I’ve been lucky, and those few who’ve done it are good “handkissers” (lol, sounds a bit odd).
It was done with light good humor, no saliva and a slight bit of self-depracating charm.
What’s neat about it is that in this day and age, it’s really unusual, so a guy CAN set himself apart by doing a hand kiss (again, if done right).