Today marks Weirddave’s 35th birthday. I love him very much, and you all must as well. If just for today, and if only in the most detached, platonic way.
Everyone wish him well! Send him beer! Compliment him on his choice of women!
Happy birthday, honey. I love you.
35?? A mere lad!! But a lad with fine taste in women!! [sub]How’s that, Ginger?[/sub]
Happiest of days to you, Weirddave!!
<tossing confetti with wild and reckless abandon, trying hard to keep it out of the beer>
Happy Bday, Dave! Sorry you and Gingy couldn’t make ChiDope - you better get your asses here for the next one.
Happy Birthday, you lucky man!
::Hands WD a large mug of his choice of brew::
Have fun!
Bon anniversaire Weirddave. Here’s to you.
Good day to have a birthday too. 
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuu! Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuu! Happy Birthday WEIRDDAAAAAAAAAAVE! Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everybody needs to hear an angelic voice sing happy birthday to him/her on his/her birthday. Everybody except Weirddave that is. 
Oh, here, have a beer.
He’s WEIRD! He’s DAVE! He’s WEIRDDAVE!
(cue the applause)
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday Dave!!! You’re a helluva guy - always there when a fellow Doper needs a hand, or an ear, or whatever. And despite your sig, you’re every bit as Dave as you look!
So here, have a Moosehead. And share a sip or two with your lovely bride-to-be. 
Dave, Happy Birthday! I wish you beer and send you well. Or something like that. Ya got a fine woman there, too btw.
/raising coffee cup/ To Dave. A damned fine specimen of a Dave, if ever I met one. May health, wealth and happiness be showered upon you. /drinking coffee/
So, Ginger, you’re buying him a Newell Shredder, right?
You better tell me if you are so I can cancel the delivery on mine.
Congratulations, Dave. Now you’re closer to fifty than you are to twenty.
:hands Dave one of two pints of Newcastle Brown Ale,
'Tink’s the glasses together.
Happy Birthday, {{{{{Wierddave}}}}}! Ginger, that’s one very special fella you got there. Y’all both have a great day.
She’d better be buying him that shredder! Dave’s new digs back up to what used to be a junk yard. The junk yard is gone, but not all the debris left with it, and there’s no one left to complain to. He’ll need the shredder to make the yard safe for his son. We’re always lookin’ out fer ya, bud!
Happy gittin’ wiser day!
I see how it is. It’s Gang Up on Ginger Day. I try to wish my darling a happy birthday, and see what happens?
Uh-uh. Not gonna fly.
friggin’ rassafrassin’ numpty … Yeah, YOU, Abe. And you too, Tranq. Seawitch, you should be ashamed for inciting them.
::: singing :::
“These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know.”
Happy Birthday Dave I Know!
Happy birthday, you lucky [sub]and brave[/sub] weird man!
35!! Wow, are you getting old Dave! I hope you had a good birthday dinner, and many happy returns from Bluesman and me.
Many happy returns, Dave!
My present? It’s in the yard. It was a little too big to get in the door. Yeah, that’s it. . .the lump of wrapping paper that’s the approximate size and shape of a Newell Shredder. Uh huh.
Zap!
Waitaminnit. There’s no stripper? No jello pit?
::punha is handed a note: “Dave’s engaged. Only one stripping is … well, it doesn’t matter, since you don’t get to see.”::
Aw, fuck, man. What’s the point?
Happy bday, Dave:)
Engaged, not dead.