Happy Fucking New Year

On New Year’s Eve, I hosted a party. My sister brought me a present–the stomach flu. I was out of the office Wed, Thurs, and Fri last week, laid up with the damned thing: vomiting, diarrhea, fever, throbbing headache.

On Sunday, my computer crashes. I lose three years worth of work. (I know, I should back up. I’ve never had this happen before, though. So now I know.)

Monday morning, I wake up with a lower lip covered in cold sores. Five of them. Oozing. Painful. One of them felt like it might cause my lip to explode. I went to the office anyway, even though I feel horribly run-down.

By Tuesday morning, I had three more sores: one on my gums, and two on my tongue. My glands in my neck are swollen, and I’m exhausted 24/7. But I have a lot of work to do, so I trek off to work as usual.

Tuesday evening, a longtime friendship ended over this. I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable, but she’s since told me that she’ll always think of me as a thoughtless person for doing what I did. I don’t need friends like that, so there you go.

I have non-refundable plane tickets to meet this friend in San Francisco next week. All her idea, and now the trip’s ruined. I didn’t even want to go in the first place, but was doing it as a favor to a friend who needs a break and a shoulder to lean on right now (she has tremendous personal problems). No problem, I think: I’ll stay with my best friend Sarah and her husband in Sacramento. I actually didn’t have to ask–they offered Tuesday night, when I called to chat. She’s excited that I’m coming to visit her, and I start to feel a little better.

Wednesday morning, I look and feel like hell, but I come to work anyway. Never mind that I have a face full of cold sores. Oh, and a giant throbbing zit has appeared too. I look like a hag with leprosy of the mouth. I cry a little about the loss of a good friend over something so stupid. I’m trying to get on with my work when…

…Sarah calls. Her grandfather died last night. As I start crying over this–I’m very close to her family–Sarah points out that this probably means she and her husband will be at the funeral during the dates I’m supposed to be in California.

My secretary just walked in and asked me how I was. I nearly burst into tears.

Have I mentioned that I’ve lived in this city for six months, I still don’t have any friends yet? Or that I’ve been in desperate need of a good hug for most of the last year?

MOTHER FUCKER. 2003 is off to a beautiful start! (I’d write a better rant but I can’t see through the tears anymore.)

What a crap way to start the year. I can only wish you well, and hope things work out. Try to enjoy your trip though. Might take your mind off things.

Oh, man! There’s a scratch on my Rolls.

Well, at least I’m not the only one who’s new year is off to a roaring start!

Look at it this way…the year can only get better.

Chin up, QN. And Amy sounds like she can’t take a joke, or she has feelings for Alex and is embarrassed that you brought them up.

Just got off the phone with my doctor. He suspects I’ve managed to transfer the cold sore infection to my eyes, which have been red and inflamed since shortly after the outbreak began. Apparently, this can be quite a serious problem.

Oh, yay.

To make you feel better I just put some cat barf on my head.

Well, I don’t know about QN, but I certainly feel better, lieu.

Your cat sounds like he doesn’t, though.

sorry, QN. Hope things get better with your health and your friend.

Okay, that was my second giggle of the day. I feel blessed to have a lieu funny in my thread. (I do feel bad for the cat, though.)

I actually feel a lot better today. I’m productive at work for the first time in awhile. I’m feeling better. Doc says the eyes are fine. The sores are clearing up. The friendship is over, and I’m sad, but I don’t really need friends who think I’m mean and crazy, anyway.