I keep hearing stories about women in their thirties who have either divorced, or were working on their careers and now cannot find a partner. To me anybody in their thirties is still young and defiantly not over the hill as far as dating is concerned. So, I was wondering if any of these stories actually hold water and if men are really as uninterested in women in their thirties as the stories and Google searches suggest? I am going to be divorced soon and would eventually like to find a partner to share my life with and am becoming a bit concerned from what I have heard/read.
This is really more of a question for the men out there but appreciate all responses. Thanks.
My Story:
I am a women entering her mid thirties (I am 33) with no children. I am divorcing my husband due to growing apart and irreconcilable differences. There is no bitterness. I met him when I was 20 and he was 30. He was my first for everything. I gave him a kidney to save his life and he was my rock through the loss of my mother to cancer. I care for him very much but we are opposites and if it wasn’t for his long term illness and my decision to be his kidney donor we would have separated years ago.
No, that’s about as far from the truth as you can get.
You’ll have no problems finding dates. Good luck!
(Also, I’m sure there is no shortage of 40+ women on this board who are rolling their eyes in unison right now. You have no idea how good you have it girl.)
Entering your thirties, there is a shortage of good men, in the sense that you aren’t still at school with hundreds of single men you can meet every day without trying.
It works like this: when you are twenty, there are 11 guys competing for every 10 free women. When you are 33, 9 couples have paired off, and there are 2 guys competing for every 1 free woman.
OK, I got the numbers wrong, but you get the picture. You have to put yourself out there, but it’s the single blokes that are doing it hard.
Hitch up before you hit 40 though. One of the reasons it’s so tough for 30+ blokes is all the 40+ blokes looking for 30+ women.
ScrubJay–you’re going to be OK, but get a move-on.
Most men over 35 don’t really want to be with a woman their own age, although they might say otherwise. After your mid 30’s, finding a man who is not only genuinely interested in older women, but who is also genuinely compatible with you, is pretty tough to do. (I say this as a woman who hit her expiration date at around 35. I’ve had pretty much zero interest from men since then. I turn 40 in a few months, and I don’t anticipate my prospects for romance changing any time soon.)
Luckily for you, you’re still young. Take advantage of that while you can.
That said, I had no problems in my early 30s, and around here that is a fairly normal age for dating. My advice is to be systematic about it-- go on a lot of dates with a lot of people, and see what sticks.
It’s hard but not impossible. You will have to work at it–probably join an online dating service. Finding dates gets harder after college, when everyone gets busy with “real” life, and harder and harder as the marriage-minded men, well, get married.
Perhaps if you do find it hard to meet new guys and date in your 30’s, it is not necessary to tell your dates that, and for all they know you are actively dating many fellows. I am older than you, and I recently met someone, although nothing really came of it. In addition, I think it is better to be single than married to a person where it is not a good fit. Being single is not so bad, and it can have many advantages.
But doesn’t it take two? How can someone go on a lot of dates with lot of people, if said people nearly unanimously say they are not interested, or don’t respond at all?
The women I know, of any age, who have children and are interested in dating have no trouble finding men who want to be with them.
OTOH, it’s not uncommon for a (in particular) divorced man to see his kids, rightly or wrongly, as a chick magnet, and in many cases this is the ONLY reason he has any interest in them. :mad:
I read the OP. It appears to me the OP was asking men if they are uninterested in dating women in their 30s. I met the criteria for answering.
For a more detailed answer, I wouldn’t mind dating a woman in her 30s. The only problem is they never seem single. If they are, they have a kid. I’ve had wonderful girlfriends with kids, but since I don’t have any, it’s hard for me to go from completely free to do whatever I want outside of work, to “we have to hang out at my house every night because I have a kid.”
For the other items on the list that was posted, I value physical fitness, so I want a partner that is in shape, and I’ve dated someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Mental illness like that is something I hope to avoid in the future.
I am 43 and as a guy, even a very overweight guy in my case, its open season. One of the nice things about dating in the 30’s and 40’s is most of the notions of perfect romance and eternal happiness have worn off. People are far more secure in themselves and far less prone to put on a show to impress you and are far less bullshit tolerant.
I’m a single 36yo dad and it’s hard to find single women. When they do become single, you seemingly have a window of minutes before they’re dating again. So, from what I can tell, 33 single female and no kids = no problem.
I haven’t seen kids be an obstacle for women except for the fact that they take up time and can keep you from going to places to meet other singles. Maybe they are more than I realize, but the single moms I see never seem to have trouble finding dates.