Harshest review of all time? IO9 rips Gods of Egypt

I don’t want to give away too much because it’s so hilarious, but one brief quote from the beginning:

Gerard Butler has a lot to answer for.

I love anything Charlie Jane Anders writes.

Have you read her new book? It’s quite good.

Mark Kermode’s review of Sex and the City 2 is quite a thing. I particularly like when he starts singing the Internationale.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeQeHstrsc

And to think I just read an article blaming the lack of success on Deadpool.

Alex Proyas is a great director. I loved Dark City and I agree with Ebert that Knowing is a masterpiece.

I assume one day we will learn that this movie destroyed him and has turned out nothing like what he hoped.

I just realized: she’s attributing to Gods of Egypt the reality-destroying powers depicted in In The Mouth Of Madness. :smiley:

I haven’t yet, but it’s on my list.

Harsh but fair. Gods of Egypt is the worst film of 2016 - an early call, admittedly, but I think justified.

I;'m sorry. It’s a wonderful review, and it confirms what I’d suspected about Gods of Egypt, but “Harshest Review of All Time”???

Nah. It’s got great bloody imagery at the start, but it can’t approach Harlan Ellison’s screeds. Read his scathing takedown of Outland, for instance.

[quote=“Baron_Greenback, post:5, topic:747270”]

Mark Kermode’s review of Sex and the City 2 is quite a thing. I particularly like when he starts singing the Internationale.

[/QUOTE] That's one of my favs of his.

Another good one is Revolver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooPdPYZpR2s

A phrase from this review, “Vengeful Lobster”, would make a great user name for the SDMB.

So how many stars did he give it? Is it so bad that it’s good and I’d want to watch it for perverse pleasure? Seriously, some bloggers somewhere will give it rave reviews which will get put in the ads.

I think this review is bit over the top, but there are some great word uses here. My favorites:

and

As a big fan of Bad Movies, I was really motivated to go and see this one last night.

Only I couldn’t. The only theaters around here showing it ran it at noon and 3 PM. There were no evening shows at all. I suspect it’ll be gone by tonight.

This is the movie where it looks like they kidnapped all of the actors loved ones and held them st knife point. Only thing which.explains their performance. And participation.

That makes sense, sort of. Maybe there were internal bust ups or nefarious, nocturnal activities between some of them. Mind you, the dialogue is so bad I’m unsure if Marlon Brando and Audrey Hepburn, in their prime, would’ve been able to do much with it. I hope the actors were paid well.