Says the cop: “SIR, I need you to step out of the car. Now, SIR, I need you to get down on your knees while keeping your hands in view.”
Says the TSA Agent: “SIR, I’m going to need you to step aside for additional screening.”
Says the store security guy, “SIR, may I look in your bag please?”
Is it just me, or does the exaggeratedly polite “SIR” add just a little more intimidation to these interactions? To me, it carries the distinct ring of jackboots for some reason. If it’s not my imagination, did this trend start at some particular time in society – and does it happen in other societies? For example, if a London “bobby” sees me driving my “lorry” on the wrong side of the road, stops me and tells me he’s taking me to “the Old Bailey” and I’d better find meself a “solicitor,” does the word “SIR” ever enter the conversation?
I will require your answer forthwith, SIR. (or MA’AM)
I think that is the point. It is hard to introduce a tone of voice as evidence in court, while the actual words used can be.
I remember reading a column by a former LEO, who said he went every encounter smiling. When there was a problem, he didn’t scowl, he just stopped smiling, which made the point just as well.
I agree with the OP. The use of honorifics like “sir”, especially when the speaker does not consider himself to be subordinate to the listener, has a distancing effect - it’s a way of saying that “we are not speaking as one person to another.” I’d much rather have a cop call me “pal” or “buddy”.
From my admittedly limited experience with the local constabulary, using “Sir” or “Madam” is neither uniquely American nor intimidating compared with "Show me your licence you bogan/toe rag/hair ball. But tone is everything.
The only police who say buddy, pal or mate to me have been unequivocably off duty.
Sir isn’t a word of intimidation. As Alessan pointed out, it’s a way to keep things impersonal between the officer and whoever he’s talking to. It’s also a way for a police officer to speak in a professional manner.
I say “sir” and “ma’am” and have used them all my life. I’m Californian, but my parents are both Texan and I was raised to speak like a Texan. It’s simply polite talk!
As a cop, I would never “pal” or “buddy” someone. To me, that sounds rude. Plus, if I’m about to write you a cite, you may not want me to call you buddy, even if I was being sincere. Would you feel very chummy towards me? “Hey, Buddy! This is gonna cost you a lot of money! Be a pal, now, and sign right here. Press hard, three copies.”
Could be because I’m female, though.
I’ve heard “sir” and “ma’am” used the way you mentioned. As others have said, it’s all in the tone. I’d rather remain somewhat polite and loudly* “Sir!” someone who was being mildly uncooperative (assuming I didn’t know his name), as I’ve found this can be an attention getter, than use other, more colorful language.
*In years of telephone work, I learned that, when this doesn’t work, it’s often helpful to do just the opposite instead, and whisper at them. Works in person, too. Totally throws people off when they’re yelling.
No, I’m saying that I AM a cop and I would never do that. I, personally, believe it sounds rude. I wouldn’t address someone like that. I prefer to be more professional, less informal, less… Buddy-buddy, if you will. If I’m writing you a ticket, chances are we are not meeting up for drinks later.
But won’t acting in a friendly, informal manner help take away the sting and defuse conflict? I don’t know - I think there’s a close relationship between distancing formality and taser-happiness.
Whether it’s writing a ticket or shouting at someone to drop what they’ve got in their hands, I suppose any level of informality would imply that there’s room for negotiation, an opening to say, “hey man, be reasonable, I’m just carrying a sandwich, see?” And if someone thinks you’re friendly enough to go out for drinks afterward, they may also not take that ticket you’re writing so seriously.
I just thought it was funny once to have a cop screaming at me, SIR!!! KEEP YOUR HANDS IN VIEW!!! Even calling me “idiot” or “you asshole” might convey that we’re dealing on a human-to-human level, instead of a facet of society’s machine that must be obeyed immediately and without question. Under the circumstances, though, maybe that was for the best.
Wow. Who said anything about tasers?? We were just talking language usage and polite formality. Words.
I’ve seen complaints generated for officers who acted too informally. They were thought to be acting unprofessionally. No one is going to generate a complaint and say you are too polite and you treated them with too much respect.
In a jail setting or other situations on the street (not traffic-only vehicle stops, as above) with run-of-the-mill dirtbags, I’ll speak informally. I say “dude” or whatever and use colloquialisms because that’s how you create rapport and gain intel.
Firstly, congratulations on your fluency in english English.
Secondly, in answer to your question, Sir, then ‘yes’ a ‘bobby’ would indeed use the honorific Sir (or Madam - note the ‘D’, stress on the first syllable, in the UK only Her Majesty is called 'Ma’am), although I get the impression that sentences are more liberally sprinkled with the term amongst American speakers.
It’s probably more likely to encourage the idea that you can get out of the ticket, if you can convince this friendly officer to give you a break. Keep it on a Sir/Ma’am basis, and you’re telling them it’s just business, you’re not their friend, you’re the person giving them a ticket.
Another reason you might bark out “Sir!” is to ensure you have the person’s full attention, before you start giving them specific directions or requests.
In my experience, the only people who call me Sir are beggars and minor authority figures, such as security guards or police officers. Either way, it’s creepy.
The only time I ever had a run-in with the law, the op didn’t call me sir, he called me by my first name, but in a sort of patronizing way. I would much rather he called me Mr. Lastname. It felt a bit disrespectful.