ok, i’m jumping in.
i read what seem to be most of the prior threads being referred to here. i think we’ve all got a lot of assumptions about the way other people feel that are based at least somewhat on real life experience, and i think some people are making hasty judgements of some other people.
Hastur’s overly defensive and calls other people homophobes at a moment’s notice, right? but december is afraid of being perceived as such because he knows in his mind that he isn’t really, so he overreacts when that label is applied to him. (please take all of this as IMHO, this is just how i see things) the greater issue at work here: we forget that in this case of hetero/homosexuality there is a clear distinction between the oppressor and the oppressed. talk about “White sox pride,” that is a matter of preference. if i prefer the Cubs over the ChiSox, that’s my choice and i’m welcome to take pride in it. sadly, here in the world, there are many heterosexual people out there who don’t like homosexual (btw, also, when i say “homosexual” i mean to include BGLT and all etc., just for ease of use) people for no reason other than their sexual orientation. even more sadly, said people frequently step beyond the bounds of just not liking these other people and go as far as to treat unkindly, harass, assault, and kill them. as the heterosexual one is by far the majority “opinion,” not to mention reinforced by centuries of civic and social tradition, that makes it oppressive. please do not ask me to draw the line between this distinction and the cubs/sox distinction, as i’m not sure at this point where it lies or how to find it.
point 1: Hastur is a member of the oppressed social group. december is a member of the oppressing social group. this is not to say (!!!) that Hastur himself is or is not personally oppressed, or that december himself does or does not personally oppress anyone. but it’s something that we all have to come to terms with. like it or not, i’m a middle class white heterosexual male. the fact that the two of them are members of different groups makes for some undercurrents of tension.
point 2: i dont see why anyone should be surprised that Hastur should be somewhat defensive about this issue. i don’t want to make it look like i’m trying to say i have any experience with what it’s like to be gay or to have to deal with that. but i can imagine it’s not easy. kids these days say anything that they don’t agree with is “gay.” december, what if “december” suddenly became an overwhelmingly prevalent pop culture phrase that was synonymous with “bad” or “weak”? would you feel a little threatened? that’s just the slightest taste of what it might be like.
point 3: pure guesswork on my part, but i know that personally, being male and heterosexual and being the kind of person who likes to think of himself as aware of these issues, i can get kind of sensitive myself whenever someone accuses me of being homophobic, or racist, which are things i try very hard not to be.
so here we have a flareup of emotions. as far as the “facts”? to me it looks pretty simple. some kids wanted to affirm their non-heterosexual identities and this activity was in some way sanctioned by the school. another kid, for whatever reasons, made it his business to feel that his heterosexual identity was being damaged or somehow mitigated by these activities, and wanted to be able to self-affirm his own identity in a similar manner. what he failed to take into account, however, is that “straight” people don’t NEED a special forum, or a “safe zone” to affirm their heterosexuality. they get that opportunity nearly every minute of every day. they flick on the tv, and unless they’re watching a “gay” show, their heterosexual identity is being safely and openly reinforced. so openly, in fact, that it doesn’t need to be mentioned. it’s implicit in everyday life.
i was one of those kids, sort of. when i was in high school i liked to bellyache about how pissed people would be if i tried to start a “White Student Union.” I’m glad I’ve grown up a little. Now i know that America IS a “White Student Union.”
go back and read the thread that Hastur just linked. he very clearly defines exactly what he thinks makes december a homophobe, and AFAK i haven’t seen anyone anywhere refute his actual reasoning. personally, i disagree. i don’t think december is a homophobe at all. i also think that a lot of very decent, very smart people are misled and misinformed and end up making flawed judgements and going through life with some very sad prejudices. i don’t know if december is one of those people. i doubt it. participation in the SDMB seems good for making smart people examine their prejudices, if nothing else. those people, the smart and misinformed ones, are the important people. they are the people whos minds can be changed. the stupid, ignorant, and misinformed people are a much more difficult case.
