What is your opinion as to when - if ever - it is appropriate for a man to wear a hat while eating in a restaurant?
I guess it was instilled in me from an early age (I’m 60), that a male always removed his hat at the table. (I guess exceptions for ballparks, picnics, etc.). I do not know if the appropriate term is manners, politeness, or something else.
Last night we ate at a stupidly expensive Michelin starred restaurant. One man at another table wore a fedora throughout his meal. I won’t say it bothered me, but I did notice it and it did strike me as inappropriate. And it did cause me to question my response and the reasons for that response.
So what say you? Would you have even noticed? Would you have had any “emotional/values” response?
Don’t care. I actually think it’s kind of rude to expect someone to take their hat off if they don’t want to. Nobody wants to be sporting “hat hair” in public. It’s embarrassing.
Hell - this place offered the women little hooks that hung their purses from the table. Never saw that before. They would not have hesitated to look after someone’s hat.
I guess while I’m bored at work I’ll look up the origins of the hat-off convention…
I remember a time when it was gauche, but times have changed. If the guy is wearing a hat when he came in, where’s he supposed to put it if he takes it off? Putting it on the table is even worse than on his head.
I put my elbows on the table. But I wouldn’t wear a hat at a restaurant. I guess I don’t care when others do, but I certainly notice. Perhaps they notice my elbows. No one has ever said anything.
A gentleman having a hat on while eating in a restaurant is definitely a faux pas, unless he is under arms.* But, note the “gentleman” bit - it’s an arbitrary, increasingly outmoded and archaic social convention. It’s one I myself still rigorously follow, but…I’m not the boss of All the Other People Eating in the Restaurant. I can’t actually think of a rational objection to someone else wearing a hat while eating.
*In the U.S. Army, the protocol is for Soldiers to always remove their “cover”, or hat, while indoors, unless they are “under arms”, that is, bearing a loaded weapon, in which case the protocol is for them to not remove their cover under any circumstances. As a veteran, that convention has stuck with me, but the “gentleman removes his hat indoors” social convention was already pretty well ingrained in me by my upbringing.
I was just going to mention that. Manners vary by social group. Most Anglo-Americans remove their hat indoors as a gesture of respect. Orthodox Jews almost always wear a hat, also as a gesture of respect. (And sometimes wear fedoras.) I was wondering if the man in question might have been an Orthodox Jew.
I have heard of this convention. I’m a woman, so it’s never been relevant to me. There are lots of manners/etiquette that I follow. But I wouldn’t care if a man at another table in the restaurant was wearing a hat. I WOULD care if the guy or gal in front of me at the movie theater was wearing a hat, especially if it were tall.
That’s often a bit of an issue. Restaurants, theaters, and the like used to literally have a hat check desk, or a hat check girl, to hand your hat to when you entered. A few will still have a coat check, and they’ll take hats as well. Otherwise, you make do. You don’t put the hat on the table. On an unoccupied chair next to you, on your lap/knee, maybe on the back of your chair, if there’s a convenient projection, but that’s also kind of gauche, and often uncomfortable and not secure.
ETA: if you’ve got a soft cap and cargo pockets, as with Army uniforms, you can fold it up and put in your pocket, or stick it in your belt under your blouse. Obviously not practical with shaped hats like fedoras, and even a ball cap may be awkward and uncomfortable to store like that.
I’m old fashioned enough to think it’s a faux pas. Growing up we were always told that gentlemen take their hats off when they go into a building. But there are so many other pieces of etiquette that have dwindled out that I guess it’s just another. If the guy was breaking some dress code rule the restaurant had the maitre’d would probably have told him.
And since he wasn’t chugging wine right out of the bottle and throwing food on the floor he obviously has some kind of manners!