Of course- I treat everybody with respect, don’t talk with my mouth full, wear shoes and a shirt, keep my conversation quiet… but honestly, if you have a problem with me wearing a hat, that’s a “you” problem, not a “me” problem. If I’m in a restaurant and somebody is being a loud, obnoxious twat, that’s one thing; but the fact that they are wearing a hat at the table wouldn’t even register with me. Same with if somebody had the gall to put their elbows on the table… I wouldn’t notice. Why should I? What impact does it have on my meal?
But if HatHair McMonocle loudly berates the waiter for the temperature of the water he was served, or loudly sends his dish back to the kitchen for the third time because his steak was allegedly cooked for thirty seconds too long on one side… that guy, he’s an asshole. He is impacting the meal of other diners.
There’s a million table etiquette things which are falling by the way side, and I am selective about which ones I choose to judge people by. Men in shorts, I’m looking at you.
Wearing a hat is, I think, a bit gauche - it’s like eating dinner with your coat on. Of course, the rule doesn’t apply to women, who were/are expected to keep hats on. Go to any nice British wedding for evidence of this.
Don’t drink, so rarely go to bars. These were weird little portable hooks they added if requested. Like I said before, this was the kinda place that would readily have taken care of a hat if requested. Hell - they wouldn’t let you pull in your own chair. From the way they directed me to the bathroom, I thought they were gonna come in with me and hold my dick for me!
Hey, some people have enough time on their hands to post to threads about whether it’s a faux pas for one to wear one’s hat in a restaurant. One’s level of busy varies.
I remember a few years ago going to a restaurant with my then-new boyfriend. It was somewhere between fast-casual and Michelin Star quality. Boyfriend wears a baseball hat all day every day and he didn’t take it off when we sat down. I called him on it. It seemed VERY weird to me (mind you I’m only 42). I said “wouldn’t your mom or grandma make you take it off?” He said no, they’ve never said anything about him wearing a hat at a table. I do remember it made me feel awkward at the time.
Now, some years later, I don’t even notice it. Every so often when we’re doing something a little more nice than usual, he’ll actually show up without his hat. I guess I established that I do find the hat weird sometimes.
I do think I’d rather not eat with a dirty, sweaty hat on the table. So really I guess I prefer it stays on one’s head if it’s coming inside with us.
I’m familiar with the convention that you shouldn’t wear a hat indoors–period, part of that is from my military background but part also from my childhood. When I was growing up adult men mostly wore hats outside, especially men my father and grandfather’s ages in which hat wearing back then (60s) was ubiquitous. Also ubiquitous was taking the hat off to eat at a restaurant, diners and such did not have hat check girls but you’d make do. I didn’t go to many fancy restaurants as a kid, but checking your hat with your coat would have been the norm in those. I suspect that while fancy restaurants today don’t have the hat racks they once did, if you were wearing a hat and offered it at coat check they’d find a way to take care of it.
My view is that like a lot of “dying” etiquette conventions, this mostly is preserved in fine or upper crust dining today, or other formal settings. I do not really view it as a faux pas to wear a hat inside a Denny’s, I think the culture has moved beyond that. I do actually think something like a Michelin starred restaurant, or any restaurant that is specifically intended as full service fine dining, the staff expects you to take your hat off and I’d guess most of the other guests do as well. So I think in that setting it is still generally a faux pas to have a hat on.
This scene from the Sopranos covers the topic well, by the way:
At least a fedora ( unlike a baseball cap ) is in the same quasi-formal category of expected attire at a finer restaurant. There are zero practical reasons for such a custom and numerous reasons to ignore it ranging from the trivial (bad haircut) to the serious (massive head wound). A fedora is silly looking in the 21st Century, but it won’t put me off my meal like someone who’s head looks like a pile of hamburger.
It’s a bug bear of mine, when you go to a smart restaurant, and the women have put loads of effort into their outfits because it’s a special occasion, and the men have thrown on some shorts and flipflops.
