OK, time for some more look-how-stupid-and-clumsy-I-can-be stories from the Crispy Amphibian.
This started 6 years ago just as a way to get some extra money, but then my cousin Ryan was born with heart problems. He’s 4 years old now and has already gone through 5 heart surgeries. Since his birth, the money raised from the forest goes to the hospital to help other children whose parents may not be able to afford the help. Not that this has to do with me getting hurt out there, I just wanted to explain why we do it.
Remember, this is in the woods at night. It’s dark and not easy to see a lot of things out there.
1998 - my job was to hide in the bushes, jump out at the group coming through and guide them to the Chainsaw House. So crouched behind the bushes, I rested my hand on the ground. Right onto a snake that bit me in the wrist. Luckily, it was just a green snake and so except for a little bleeding and pain it wasn’t dangerous.
The big, stupid one:
1999 - We had a harness in a tree and I was jumping out over the crowd as they walked past and revving a chainsaw (no chain on it) as I swung over their heads. This was working great. Towards the end of the night, the people up front started to send the groups in faster so we could wrap things up. So a group came through, I swung over their heads, chainsaw blaring, scared them all. I swung my way back to the tree, unhooked myself and climbed down to have a smoke (we usually had 5 - 10 minutes between groups).
So I’m chatting with my cousin Chris when we hear talking from around the corner and realize they’ve sent another group right behind the group that just passed. I scurried up the tree, pressing myself against it, chainsaw in hand, peeking through the branches at them. When the group got close enough, I pushed off from the tree, yelled, and revved up the chainsaw.
Unfortunately, in my rush to get ready for this group, I forgot to hook the harness to the rope.
It’s an interesting sensation, being in the air when you suddenly realize your fall isn’t stopping and no matter how hard you flap your arms you will not be able to fly. I belly flopped about 6-7 feet to the ground and knocked the wind out of myself. This did scare the group that was going by though. I heard one person exclaim, “Jesus! Look at that crazy bastard! He just dove outta that fuckin’ tree!” I could’ve hurt myself pretty badly I guess, but luckily, there were some rocks to break my fall.
So with a wrenched knee and no air in my lungs, (besides, that harness was not comfortable - I now know why on stage Peter Pan is played by a woman :eek: ) I went to the front of the forest where people were waiting to get in and started messing around with the line and found it was much more fun than being in the woods.
So this year, to avoid any more injury (and it’s more fun) Chris and I are just going to mess with the crowd out front all night. One of the best parts is whenever someone leaves the line to go to the Port-a-Potty; shaking it, pounding on the door. We got carried away and nearly tipped someone in it last year.
