This is actually a serious question. I’m *not * looking for legal advice, I know things vary a lot from state to state, but stories, or perhaps, at the most, recommendations or ideas that would make performing the duty easier.
See, I’m the executor for one of my sisters, and also for my parents(either the survivor or both, if they die together) I saw what my folks went through when they had to take care of the estates of my aunt and uncle, and frankly, the prospect of doing it myself is a bit overwhelming.
I myself have a will, and the sister I am executor for is the same for me. She has copies of the will, my medical power of attorney, my living will, and my funeral plans*. Other copies of these documents are in my home, and filed at my church(the exception there being the will itself)
*The funeral plans are just that, nothing is paid for. But I do have a plot reserved in a cemetery where a lot of family on my mother’s side is laid to rest. That’s already in the family. And I told them in the plans I want the cheapest possible casket, as I think it’s a sin to spend too much money on something like that.
Anything you can give advice on would be appreciated. We are all healthy, so it’s not as if the prospect of doing my duty is imminent, but one never knows what will happen tomorrow.
As executor, you don’t have to do it all yourself. You will be able to draw funds from the estate to hire people to do tasks. All of you may want to have a conversation about how to simplify things–does each person have a secure place where all account numbers are kept? What’s the number for the safe? What’s the lawyer’s number? What active bank accounts are maintained? If each person constructs this list and updates it periodically, you can really reduce stress.
As to cleaning the attic, yes, that may fall to you.
There is such a thing – at least here in NJ – called a “self-proving will.” It has to do with how the will is worded and witnessed, and eliminates a fair proportion of legal and probate hassle. Of course, you must ask your lawyer about this.
My sister and I were exectors for our father’s estate. We had to obtain copies of the death certificate. We took these with the will to the county probate office where, with proof of our identity we became empowered to do whatever was necessary. We had to pay off any legitimate debts. We opened up a bank account as “Estate of <our father>.” We closed out his bank accounts, disposed of remaining property by sale or gift after deciding which items we wanted for ourselves or our children, using the estate account to pay any expenses. When we were done with that, we split the balance in the account and closed it.
The annoying thing was that he had made us joint co-exectutors. I guess he thought he was being kind, but it made things more difficult. Every single thing had to be signed by both of us.
I was supposed to be executor of a friend’s will, but he had a living relative in the state, so the state required the grieving relative to execute the will. Since I’d been reading up on it, we divided the tasks so that I pretty much told him what to do and he signed everything.
In 1998 I was joint executor for my uncle’s will along with my father, but my father was dying and only lasted a month.
I used a ‘Made Easy’ book as I detest paying money to ‘experts’, also we had a bad experience with a solicitor (lawyer) on an earlier will.
In my case it was complicated because, although there was little money, it was in Jersey so I had to get both UK and Jersey probate.
It was not that difficult, I did the UK probate myself and found a firm of solicitors to handle the Jersey probate for a fixed fee.
Mostly it required a large number of death certificates and a fair bit of letter writing.
With my father’s will, my mother handled it (with me keeping an eye on her), since she is abysmal at paper work, I would reckon that one does not need to be that bright to act as an executor.
It would be a good idea to get a ‘self help’ book on the subject, read it up and leave it with your papers. Also to leave a precise list of things that you want and do not want.
It would also be helpful if you kept a precise and up to date list of your assets, ideally in a folder with copies of ‘evidence’.
You might also be prepared for very charged emotions during the process. When my grandpa was executor of a family estate way back when, two parties tried several times to challenge the terms of the trust. It got pretty heated, and he had to stand up to some uncool stuff.
That was the first time a family trust had been set up that way, so maybe it was a surprise (payouts come on three dates- the person’s 25th, 30th and 35th birthdays- so since I was 30 when my grandpa died, I got two at once). But all of our family’s subsequent trusts have been set up the same way (grandpa’s, my parent’s, ours), so there haven’t been any surprises or fights.
Some people get pretty wierd when there is money involved. I am so glad that my generation held it together when my grandpa died (he was worth over a million bucks), because I’ll admit I was a bit worried about my cousin…
If things go smoothly, the main thing you need is good organization. You basically just need to keep track of all the assets, and then make sure they are conveyed as required. For example, if the decendent has 10 different stocks, they may require that you follow 4-5 different procedures. And 7-8 of them will go really smoothly, but the remaining 1-2 will seem to take forever.
There is no incredible rush, but you don’t want to drag things out either. You can generally make folks happy by distributing the “easy” assets quickly, and keeping folks informed of the status of the remainder of the estate.
This is almost how things went for me when my mother died, though she had no will. It wasn’t a pain, and didnt’ take much time, but there were some parts that were hard to understand. Unless the estate is complex I wouldn’t hire someone else as they can, in Maryland, take a good amount. I could have gotten an extra $7-8000 on a small estate. I’m sure most people could do the majority of the estate, paying off bills, selling items, though you may want to hire someone to do taxes and some of the more difficult stuff, but I wouldn’t pay someone to do it all.