You’re sick! My wife is dead! What are you, some kind of Magical Necro-Lesbian?
For want of a “g” instead of a “c”…
Don’t worry, Shot. I have consulted the oracles, and they assure me that the man you are destined to marry is since a whirling, repulsive, microphallic bastard that you are soundly relieved when he begins giving his affections to another.
Though as I think on it, that probably just makes things worse.
Are you sure about those oracles? That doesn’t sound the least bit like anyone I’d tolerate past a second date, let alone marry.
Wait, or did you mean barnacles? Because those don’t actually talk at all, let alone prognosticate.
… You might want to get that checked out.
But I haven’t even asked her out yet!
Once with my best friend’s wife. It lasted for about three weeks.
Stop looking at me like that. :o
I can’t believe no one’s made any references to *The Room *yet.
Apparently you’re going to be really surprised. I would go into more detail but I don’t have more detail. I am not in charge of your destiny and had to sneak a look at the file while the receptionist was distracted.
Well there’s your problem. $5 says you looked at the wrong one. My last name is an uncommon variation on a much more common surname. You must have just gotten confused.
That’s very brave of you to admit, but a blow-job isn’t going to change things!
I just checked again, using the picture of you in the whatchamacallit as reference, and you’re right. Apparently you’re destined to inadvertently cause the apocalypse in May of 2012.
Now *that *sounds much more like me. Only not necessarily the “inadvertently” part. But we can let that slide for now.
I think what’s supposed to happen is that you’ll THINK you’re trying to cause a civilization-ending catastrophe, but in fact end up causing a world-destroying one.
But, again, I am not in charge of your file; it’s not up to me to make sure you go to Hell. Was me I’d let you off.
I was the other woman. He proceeded to break up with his girlfriend and we’ve been together now for little over 10 years, married five and a half of that. Ce la guerre.
How are we even sure that you’re seeing the real files? What if they’re just front-office dummies?