I think it’s all BS, really. Love/infatuation/limerance/whatever stage or point of development, it’s all situational, temporary, and dependent on some element of fantasy or psychosis.
You sound bitter.
It’s happened to me twice in my life.
A friend of mine told me, “Every time I see you I think of my childhood friend A----. Makes me think that if you ever met you’d either be together forever or kill one another.” We finally did meet and when I looked at him and he looked at me, that’s all it took. I had never felt that deeply, that strongly about anyone ever; I had been in love, I had had crushes and momentary infatuations, but this was like comparing a forest fire to a matchstick.
We loved one another instantly but real life couldn’t keep us together; there were too many issues (mostly around his use of drugs). But we never lost touch with one another and every time we were in proximity all those feelings swept over the both of us all over again, as deep and profound as that first time. The fire never went out.
He passed away last summer, 35 years after we first met.
The second time was about ten years ago. I bumped into this guy, literally, going up a flight of stairs. And BOOM! I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me but we couldn’t stop looking at one another and talking to one another … we went out to dinner and then wound up sitting outside looking at the moon and talking all night long, just holding hands and talking.
As the sun came up he said, “It’s a thunderbolt. And it hit both of us.” That’s a pretty accurate description of it.
He lives a couple thousand miles away from me. And he has responsibilities and complications and a very different life and there’s no place for the thunderstruck for either of us. Ultimately there was no good way to resolve it like we wanted; it was impossible and we knew it. And so, we let it be and each let go. Still talk to him occasionally. He’s very special to me. Nothing in life is guaranteed and you don’t always get what you want, even if you want it with all of your heart. It’s a gift to find someone that touches you like that, even if the outcome isn’t what you wished for.
I shop at the Kroger almost every day.