Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?

I’ve always seen breaking up was “for a reason” and if two people broke up, it was for the better. Although I follow this logic, I can also see in some cases, why it’s important that two people took a “break” and got back together in the end. Afterall, it does make interesting movies. :rolleyes:


If you have… details!

If you haven’t… why not?

I have never went back with an ex, the reason being that I’m always so happy that they’re gone.

Yes, I see my first wife fairly often. We still have similar tastes and I live in the big city, so I buy all the concert tickets. There are lots of things for which she is fun to be with. I actually kept in touch with her while I was married to wife number 2 (she knew and we all got together sometimes).

Wife number 2 can rot in hell.

Yes. Best thing I ever did.

I did it once. The first time we broke up, we had a very abrupt goodbye and didn’t see or speak to each other for a year. When we saw each other again, we were both overwhelmed by how much we had missed each other. We broke up again for the very same reasons, only this time, it happened much faster.

I don’t regret it, but I would never get back together with an ex again without making sure we had worked out the issues which broke us up the first time.

I wanted to get back together with my first girlfriend a few years after we broke up (we’d “dated” when I was 15 and she was 14, pffft). Hell, I STILL want to get back together with her sometimes, but that’s just when I think of what she used to be like.

When I hang out with her in person these days, a lot of her “entertaining stories” involve what crazy stuff she did while out drinking last weekend, how much she hates her parents (who she still lives with), the new $600 mountain bike her dad’s gonna buy her, how horrible everything in her life is, how much she wants to get back together with a guy that uses her for Booty Call activities (and who ALL of her friends hate. A lot. Won’t allow him into their apt.), etc etc.

In the past several years, she’s become a mopey, vain, codependant person.

But I still miss who she used to be, and regret breaking up with her.
PS: I’m a girl, so y’all know.

Yes. We’re married now.
The first time around was for all the wrong reasons, handled badly, full of angst, and not letting go of the past.
There are those who would say the second time was the same. It wasn’t.
We got our priorities straight, before we tried again.
Will it last? shrug
Doing well, so far.


I did it with my last ex and it was a HUGE mistake. We broke up because the chemistry wasn’t there, tempermentally we are very different, and frankly, I was pretty disgusted with his spinelessness and the instrusiveness of his family. We got back together, mostly out of mutual loneliness (we were both stranded in a town we hated and where we knew no one). I really did try the second time to get past the things that bugged me, but he didn’t.

Of course, less than a year later, we broke up for the same reasons, only it was on his terms, not mine, and I felt pretty hoodwinked. Based on info I got later, it seems that he got back together with me out of boredom and only broke it off when he had someone else lined up. Made me feel pretty bad and though I’m feeling better about it now, if he were on fire I wouldn’t piss on him to put him out.

I should have stuck to my first instinct and stayed away after the first break up. Would have been better for me.

I dated a gal for about a month two years ago. Things didn’t go well; we were both in extremely fucked-up condition after some past experiences, and it ended. Not badly, but it ended.

About six months ago, I got back in touch to tell her my dog had died (she’d loved the dog, and so I wanted to let her know), and we started talking again, then hanging out, spending lots of time together, and finally dating. I think we both just needed some time to get our shit straight, if that makes sense.

Anyway, it seems to be going great this time, and I’m really happy about it.

Once its over, its over.
Sometimes its taken lots of abuse for me to be “over” it.

My former friend Desiree used to say “I’ll always love Ray”.
I cannot understand that, though I’m sure its valid for her ;when I am broken up, they may as well be a stranger to me.
No feelings.
I guess I’m just that way.

Yes. I recently married the guy. We had broken up twice, both times for the same reasons. I don’t regret going back with him, and I regret even less having broken up with him before, it put things into perspective and proved how utterly wrong we were in thinking we were better off our separate ways.

I “dated” a woman for a while, then broke up (she was reading way more into it than it was). A few years later, she was going to be going on a cruise out of Miami, and asked if she could come down a few days early for a nookie visit. We didn’t get along that well (first time or later), but the sex was great.

Personally, I’ve never gone back or “bought the same store twice” as I’ve heard it described. Why would a person want to? After a breakup, I’ve always looked for someone better than the last one. But I digress.

I know of four couples who’ve done this. Couple #1 was married for two years, divorced for almost a year, then re-married. They’ve been together for 14 years now. That’s the good news.

The other three couples I know that tried getting back together each had the same comment: “You know all that stuff that was wrong before? Guess what? It’s still wrong now!”

So while it can work, it’s been my observation that it usually doesn’t.

and sometimes ex’s are pyschos!

Though I wouldn’t mind finding Dan again, just for old times’ sake.

Got back together with an ex a multitude of times. Over a 4 year period, we broke up and got back together about 10 times (okay, multitude was an exaggeration)

It was a hellish nightmare.

I didn’t like myself much then. And she didn’t like me much either.

I did.

The lukewarm relationship was worse than the rollercoaster ride of the first time.

That was quite some years ago.

Hasn’t stopped me from seeing a fairly recent ex recently, though. This one didn’t feel awkward, but the intense fear is a bit tough to deal with. By seeing (in this case), I mean going out together in nuetral territory with no overnights and no sex. Don’t want to colour the possible highs and/or lows of my choice with a bunch of sensual only stuff.

She’s the exotic dancer I wrote about a while ago. We haven’t done anything on a regular basis, and I still have my doubts. Partly because there is another interest that is developing, and I’ve gone out a few times with her. In the meantime, I know she (the ex) has gone out with some other guys, too.

If anything ever happens, I’ll let you guys know.

we like you and want to know!
Keep us updated.
vanilla,NoClueBoy’s platonic friend (cause I live too far away)

There’s about 4 Doper women (vanilla being one of them) that would really cause some sleepless (I can hope) nights if they were within dating distance. :slight_smile:
Okay, I’ll tell the other three, too…




and if I were gay… nah. I’ll let you guys answer that query…

“so, if me and Seige got together with you, that would make 3 of us…”

Total hell,I was with a girl(Its so hard to call her that, she-devil is more like it), for four years. Long story short, we split, mainly because she was psycho, it wasn’t pretty. I spent the next 18 months avoiding woman and was involved in several short flings, which I quickly ended/ruined (mostly con shuns lee (I can’t figure out how to spell it). Anyways, I was making this short right? After a year and half this fruit cake calls me, I talked to her. Other things in my life went wacky and she kept calling me, she was begging me to go see her. In a drunken halucination, where I imagined her being civil and nice, I agreed. There were a few conditions, on her part it was that it was for sex only and no strings. On my part it was that it was for sex only and she had to pay for the weekend (hey I’m not a monster, I figured that after we had been together for four years she could pay for SOMETHING)
I was to meet her halfway, I got the hotel room, and she was late as usual, only by 3 hours, so I figured, “WOW she was right, she really has changed, shes now ONLY 3 hours late”. She gets there, her hair is longer, (she now looks like a witch), her ass is fatter (she claimed to have lost 50 lbs, Yeah, after gaining 100), and she is still dressed like a 14 year old,
This was susposed to be short, right?
Anyways I was sufficiently lubricated (thank you Anheuser Busch) to make it through the first night, barely, the weight didn’t bother me (I have very few standards), i just didn’t like HER.
As the weekend went on, I wanted to kill myself, the only thing that kept me going is that I was playing poor, and she was ACTUALLY spending money on me, not on some crap for her, this almost made up for the 339 dollar psychic hot line bill, the missed rent and all the other crap I bailed her out of.
By the time I left I realized several things,

  1. I hated/hate her
  2. I hated everything about her
  3. I could barely even kiss her because I hated the taste of her mouth: what I can do for a free meal, I should be ashamed.
  4. Yick!!!
    I was SOOOO happy to leave, 6pack in tow. Several days later she called and asked if I felt the same thing she did?.., Nausia? Disgust? WOW you got FATness? Shave that stubble offNESS? Is that a new stretchmarkNESS? Your hair looks like crapNESS? Were they always that saggyNESS?. My mind wandered and in true guy fashion I replied “Huh”. The wonderful Ex-goddess of hell, replied “Didn’t you feel something?”.
    Of couse me and my Rico-Suave self asks “Is your car running OK?”
    “Its fine. Didn’t you FEEEELLLLLL something???”
    “Well, there was an earthquake in California the other day, but I think I’m far enough away”
    I know were this is going and I’m sort of trying to be nice.
    “No giggle giggle, between US?”
    UH OH double giggle, I really know where this is going now, and she doesn’t.
    “Well there was this piece of latex that, um,we didn’t used to use…”
    You must realize at this point I was feeling like a piece of crap, I truly can’t stand this girl, but I’m still trying to spare her feelings.
    As I ran out of excuses, the least offensive thing I could say was “you promised me you wouldn’t do this”.
    Several female hysteric sounds followed by a quick and curt(is that right) "I"VE got to go " SLAM

Wow, I thought, thats over. WRONG several weeks go by, then she starts calling again, work and home. I’m thinking fruity nutcase, now whats wrong with her. One day after a courage building afternoon at the local watering hole I come home and call her. Being the psycho she is she yammered on about how she had met the man of her life, he was so wonderful, and looked just like me.
Now I’m wearing the big WTF mask, and just listening.
Hes this and that etc yada yada… (I was watching sportcenter) shes quitting school, which she has yet to start after 6 years and moving to California with this guy.
I’m thinking , this was susposed to be short, Right?, “that’s nice, have fun, and god bless his soul, poor bastard.”
I figure I’ll be helpful and give her a few tips on how to best get along with a guy that looks just like me(WTF).

  1. you shouldn’t lie to him
  2. You really shouldn’t lie to him
  3. When you do lie to him, at least make it believable.
  4. After you lie to him, remember what you said, so you can repeatedly tell him the same lie.
    5)Tell your friends the same lie so everybody is on the same page.
    6)After you lie to everybody, convince yourself that it is the truth, so that we might have a chance of believing you.

After I gave her that advice, she got mad and told me I(ME) drink too much. What nerve, that would be like me telling her she has too much stubble(in many areas, don’t ask). How does she think I dealt with her for so long?

Then here comes the clincher, she says, “I’m late”, so I’m like “Your always late.”
“Where do you have to be?” Like I care where she has to be.
“I’m pregnant”
I replied cool as a cucumber with a 12 pack in it
“Cool, I’ve always wanted a kid”
That frazzled her, I do believe that I have established that she is not exactly trustworthy, ie. a LIAR.
“Your not having it”
At this point I figure lets do some exploring.

  1. you weren’t involved with somebody for a year and half after we broke up, (the a-hum evidence proves this to be true)
  2. you haven’t proven yourself trustworthy in the past.
  3. why does this guy have to look just like me (spooky)

After much arguing for about 6 hours it was determined that, in my mind.
A)I really do seriously dislike her.( I only wish hate on people I want to die and she is such a miserable person that I hope she has to live to deal with herself.)
B) I have more money than her, and if she really is pregnant, I will have custody.
C)My family would stand behind me in such an event, however she has sworn off her grandmother since she gave her phone number to her mom. (great family relations)
In her mind…
A) guys who look like me have no problem being in a relationship with a women for 3 weeks, who is 4 weeks pregnant.
B) guys who look like me have no problem not getting any from a girl who (as she proclaimed) is pregnant, very recently.
C) guys who look like me are (as I was told) much richer than I could ever be. (where is that rollie eye smiley)
AHHHH, I haven’t heard from her since, but I just might have to give her a call. She should be “ahum” due any time now, nut case.

Well Mr. OP, you wanted details.