There was this gentle man at my work who was always chatty with me.Then one day I noticed that he wasn’t as talkative and I was the one started to say hi first .He would respond but the energy and the vibe wasn’t the same anymore.He even told me that if I need anything to be fixed on my car , I should let him know so he can take me to his mechanic.He knows allot about cars so I won’t get ripped off.Now he just went cold for no reason
There were time where I would go to sit on his table during break time and he won’t say hi or anything but then when someone else walks by he would say hi and talk to them and you can tell the vibe and energy is different.I stopped saying hi and now we don’t talk at all unless of its neccessary.Then again we work in different departments so its seldom that I have to talk to him.
We never had any argument or conflict .I can’t think of anything I have said that offended him.I know I shoudn’t care but its just now awkward running into him and he doesn’t say anything or look at me.
Have you ever had someone stopped talking to you for no apparent reason?
If you’re female, this gentle man probably gathered that you weren’t interested in him. If you’re male, you probably said something that inadvertently pissed this gentle man off.
I am female.I didn’t think it was more than just platonic friends.I didn’t think he wanted anything more since he never asked for my number or indicated that he was interested in anything more.
However he did joke few times that he was going to marry me when other co workers were around but then he showed me pictures of his 2 wives from his words.I don’t if he really have 2 wives but I didn’t think much out of our interations.He was very friendly towards me
I had a similar thing happen to me with a very strange twist ending. There was a woman I worked with for a number of years. We weren’t friends, but we were friendly and chatted on a regular basis. Then one day she just cut me off completely. Wouldn’t speak to me at all. It was awkward, and I had no idea what was going on.
After maybe a year or two, this woman got sick and had to take a leave of absence. The rumor was that she had cancer. And then one day I got a call from her, and she asked if I could do her a favor. She was in the hospital, and wanted me to come speak to her. The only thing I could think was that she wanted a favor from my father (he had a high level position, and other people had occasionally asked me for favors from him in the past).
So with a lot of curiousity, I brought some flowers and went to the hospital to see her. She was very weak, and it seemed pretty clear that she was dying. She told me a long, rambling story about a woman who had once been her good friend. Eventually something happened that convinced my co-worker that the friend was after my co-worker’s husband (co-worker’s husband was long gone – she wasn’t married during the time I knew her). Co-worker got angry at the friend, and never spoke to her again. Co-worker told me that she deeply regretted that she had been unable to forgive her friend, and that she let a tiny misunderstanding get out of hand. And then she thanked me for coming and being a friend to her, and said goodbye.
It’s clear that something happened that caused her to be angry with me and cut off contact, but I have no idea what it was. I never had any contact with her husband or any other man in her life, so I’m sure that wasn’t it. All I know is that as she was dying, she felt the need to make amends to me. She died about 15 years ago, and I’ve always been glad that I went to see her, and at least gave her the gift of forgiving me.
When I was very young, I had a co-worker who gave me the silent treatment for almost 2 months, and I never found out why. I found out later that she had a long history of doing this kind of thing.
She was divorced, and if anyone did that to me now, after a while, I’d say, “If this is how you treated your husband, no wonder your marriage failed!” Sometimes, you just have to hit them between the eyes, KWIM?
Before that, I worked in another office for almost 2 years, and there was one woman, my age (we were just out of high school) and she NEVER spoke to me except for work-related issues the whole time I worked there. I gathered that she disliked me instantly, and this was how she exhibited it.
Sure. He’s a homophobe who thought I was hitting on him. It wasn’t til years later that a third party explained to him that I had actually been making fun of his pants. I still think that doubleknit polyesters are hilarious.
We’ve both been here about 30 years, but we weren’t friends or anything, just coworkers. But I am friends with some of his friends.
I don’ know when it started, but a long time ago I noticed that he never spoke to me in meetings, or when he, our mutual friend and I are talking in the hallway. He won’t even look at me.
I don’t know what I did to piss him off, but he’s still apparently mad. I don’t care enough as to why to ask our mutual friend, I just find it interesting.
This sounds exactly like what I’m going through right now. A woman I’ve been on fairly good terms with at work has recently been acting distant and almost dismissive when I’m around. She’ll talk and interact with everyone else but the second I join the conversation she seems to disconnect. It’s very subtle but I don’t think I’m imagining it.
The other day we were all sitting at a table and in an effort to reach out I asked if that was her husband 's picture on her phone. (She talks about him but I’ve never seen him) She gave some noncommittal, mumbling answer then proceeded to show the people across from us (who didn’t even ask about him!) several pictures of him while keeping the phone at an angle where I couldn’t see them. I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done to offend her and though I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, screw her and her hang ups, I can’t help wondering about it because it’s so bizarre!
A friend of 20 years stopped speaking to me about 6 months ago. I have no idea why. She had done that previously and I would have a courageous conversation and we would work things out. But this time I just don’t care. The bottom line is it’s not your stuff, it’s your co-workers.
I’m basically doing that now with one of my (female) coworkers. I’m also kind of being a deliberate asshole to her in a few ways - really just in regards to the times we do speak - but it makes me feel better, so there’s that.
Basically, this woman was always very chatty & touchy-feely with me, and on Valentine’s Day she even told me she was single. I asked her out for a cup of coffee a week later, and she turned around and said she couldn’t go because she had a boyfriend. I had a huge “WTF” moment after hearing that & even confronted her about how she’d told me she was single a week before, to which she had no response.
Since then, I just don’t talk to her in any meaningful way, even as she still tries to strike up conversations with me every so often. We rarely have overlapping shifts so I don’t see her much, which is good for everybody IMO. Coming from a guy’s perspective, my reaction makes perfect sense; from her POV, though, she might be wondering what my deal is.
The moral of the story is this: DO NOT PURSUE ROMANCE WITH COWORKERS.
I gathered that she disliked me instantly, and this was how she exhibited it.