When I used to hang out in yahoo chat, an intense romance developed between two of the channel regulars - she, a 29 year old single mum and he, a 21 year old single male. It was only MONTHS into this romance that everyone discovered the male involved was in fact only 16. Even scarier, is the fact that the woman involved continued to pursue the romance even after finding out she was cybering with a minor.
That was you?! 
j/k.
Er, I don’t know much about online gaming, but are you expected to play a character of your own sex? I mean, I got news for you, most of the people playing elvish characters aren’t real elves either. 
Or would some of these men claim to be women OOC/IRL?
Actually quite recently I found out that someone I knew (vaguely, ran in the same RPG circle) online was a female claiming to be male. I think my roomie claims to be a female under his female c name (because though in that chat nothing actually happens it can make things awkward for romantic scenes)
I don’t really play around with stuff like that. I am a very honest person (I’ve shown some pics around etc) and the people that I have met from online were pretty much how they seemed online. Most of them were dopers though and I think we are a fairly honest group here, at least with each other.
The most I’ve really done is claim I live on the other side of the country, or a couple years older than I really was (haven’t recently). I also do have a couple of different names for one chat I go to. If I’m feeling confrontational I go in under the name I have done that under before (not like spamming the screen and stuff just for when I’m in a peeved off debate mood) and one for my usual self, but I have admitted to a few of the people there that I am both. They don’t mind cuz they just act both ways under one name 
And I agree with tarragon918 on the cybersex thing… a lot of that goes on. Several of my c’s are ‘married’ have children etc. I have gotten crushes on the odd guy online but I try to keep my c’s seperate from my own feelings. This came about after I grew too attached to one who was eventually killed, after her death scene I got offline and cried. I didn’t go back online for the rest of the weekend either but that was because I wasn’t at home and had no net access. I did freak out a few people doing that though because when they heard my c had died and then I suddenly stopped appearing as often as I did (I was online 24/7 at that point in my life) they were afraid I would try something stupid. I wasn’t that attached but she was my child self in many ways, which was why it was so painful to lose her.
Umm you guys…
Ya see…
I am not the real Kwisatz Haderach.
hangs head in shame
I should have been a bit more clear, but yes there were some female characters being played by males RL who did not inform their partners, particularly after there had been obvious RL feelings developed, that they were males. When I rped a character of the opposite sex, I was always very up front with anyone that I rped with, or if I did not want to reveal my real self, I totally avoided any situation that might lead to cyber sex (called TS on mus*es… tiny sex).
I too, like Obsidian Flutterby, became very attached to many of my RP characters and at times developed RL feelings for RP character partners–it can sometimes be very hard to keep IC/OOC/RL separate. I don’t want to go into too much personal detail here, but it took me a fairly long time to get away from what had grown to be an obsession with me and online mus*es. Thank god.
I often rp as a male and my male characters get involved sexually and romantically with other male characters (played by females or even f2ms). In all cases, I have told the people I was female, but some of the girls pretend they are male. It is really easy to tell they are not, I have never called them on their bluff, but just let then pretend.
I think personality matters more than biological sex. My biologically male fiance posts as a woman because his mind is more like a woman. And I list my gender as male in my yahoo profile partially to avoid reqeusts for cybering, but also because a lot of friends that i have on yahoo talk to my “male” side.
And besides, rp is about being your character. I don’t see anything wrong with not mentioning who you really are at first. If they ask, you shouldn’t lie, but roleplaying as the opposite sex is differrent than impersonating them and begining a relationship.
sorry for being not very coherent. i burned my right hand at work tonight and is difficult to type just with my left
I pretend to be either a helpbot or a 48 year old ex-co lesbian biker.
Takes are of unwanted emails really fast.
Try replying to a nigerian scam letter asking about if they have a hot sister who likes bikes and strap on spiked dildos
I once made the fatal mistake of meeting someone who didn’t have a photo on their profile. He told me he was good looking, muscular and clean-cut, so I thought my luck might be in. When I actually got to the pub and met him, I was rather disappointed to say the least.
Turns out that good looking = ugly, muscular = fat and clean-cut = scruffy and unshaven. When he hinted that we could go back to his place, I just pretended not to “get” what he was talking about, and skipped over the subject. After ignoring his e-mails for the next two months, I think he finally realised that I wasn’t interested in him.
Which brings me to this. There is NO reason for anyone not to have a photo to show you. If they can’t afford a digital camera (and some people can’t, I’m willing to acknowledge that), a basic scanner can be bought for peanuts. Even if that’s out of their reach, Kodak can process a regular film and put the pictures onto a CD-ROM.
Having a photo online needn’t be difficult or expensive. The only reason for not having one is if the person has something to hide.
kirk, I both agree with you and am insulted. Maybe it would be better to say “anyone who intends to meet people on-line in a date-type situation should have a picture.”
I’ve intended to put a picture of myself on-line for about two years, but I have no camera or scanner and am not very computer saavy to begin with.
On the other hand, I have not taken part in a chat room environment in at least five years because I find the people childish, ignorant and annoying. Therefore, I have no intention of meeting people who expect me to look like a Greek God anyway.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but geez, that’s like standing blindfolded on a street corner and hoping whoever picks you up with be Richard Gere.
A female friend of mine got involved online with a guy who didn’t want to give her a picture. He didn’t hide he wasn’t attractive, though. I think his reasonning was that had she saw his picture first, she wouldn’t have been interested in him. While by not showing it, even admitting he wasn’t attractive, he still had a chance to seduce her. Once she would be “hooked” , perhaps his unatractiveness would be less important for her. Whether or not this was his actual motive, it worked. She even crossed the Atlantic to meet him (he’s an american) and it seems everything went fine.
Note though that you don’t necessarily want your picture to be out there for everybody to see. I was once identified by someone (he told me where I was living exactly) who wouldn’t tell me who he was, and I found that irritating (though I didn’t remove the picture). Also, you can still send a picture by snail mail if you’ve a particular reason to show it to someone. Some people feel strongly about protecting their privacy. Also a lot of people aren’t interested in any way in dating someone met online, hence have absolutely no reason to provide a picture to anybody, apart from “look! that’s me”.
And anyway, a picture proves nothing. I can put the picture of my great-aunt online pretending she’s me if I want to.
When I’m chatting with random folks on line, if they want a photo or a description, I’m inclined to write them off. I’m not looking for love or companionship - I enjoy conversation with random strangers. If someone needs to know what I look like in order to talk with me, they’re not someone I care to know.
Besides, as has been mentioned, I could say anything or send any photo. Yeah, I’m a dead ringer for Catherine Zeta-Jones, but older and blonder and heavier and shorter and…