Speaking only for myself, I do not want to be seriously involved in a long distant relationship. If it were to involve into something deeper, the miles become a huge problem.
I would not be willing to give up the security of my career, my home, my life, to pull up stakes and move across the country. I also would not leave my kids nor would I take them away from their dad.
On the other side, I don’t want to begin a relationship with someone who gave up everything (including his job) to start over from scratch with me. I may be selfish, but I don’t want to carry someone while they re-establish themselves.
Last but not least, I enjoy sex to much to limit ourselves to the far and few between rolls in the sack.
Having said that, I will admit that I have meet many online friends face to face and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
A couple of years ago I participated on a local message board with a religious theme. There were about 20 regulars and between the fanatics and the hell-bounders (guess where I fit in) we made the BBQ Pit look mild. One day someone suggested that we all meet at a park for a picnic. Everyone was a little nervous because of the heated flame-wars, but we all showed up. All differences were put aside and we had a total blast. We had so much fun in fact, that for the last 3 years we all get together on a bi-monthly basis. They have become some of my best friends and even though our flames wars continue, we are able to be friends.
Two and a half years ago, I received an e-mail from someone who liked my profile on AOL. I was reluctant, but we started up a correspondence that turned into friendship. We could not have been any more different. He is an very devote Orthodox Jew, runs a large legal firm, and lives 2500 miles away in New Jersey. Although we have a lot of differences, our friendship continued to get deeper. About a year after his intitial e-mail, he flew to meet me. He began flying to my home every other week (not a problem when you are wealthy) so we could spend a lot of time together. In spite of my beliefs about long distant relationships, things started to progress into romance. He began teaching me things about his religion and although I find it fascinating, I will not convert to a religion unless I can do so with total faith. His religion dictates a spouse of the same religion, so we have had to slowly take things back to a friendship level.
He remains someone very special to me and I can say with all honesty that he is probably the kindest person I know.
- I was trying to find a particular Pink Floyd screensaver but wasn’t having any luck. I decided to go into a PF chatroom (I DESPISE chatrooms, but I was desparate). Once there, I began chatting with a fellow Floydian (he was also from New Jersey) and a friendship was born. He flew out to meet me about 10 months later. We hit it off immediately and although we just met in person, we felt as if we knew each other very well.
The free-spirit that I am (some swear it will catch up to me some day) suggested that we load up my car, put the top down, and hit the road for a week and a half - just the two of us. We traveled through southern Utah (Bryce, Zions, Canyonlands) then onto Lake Powell, the Navajo Indian Reservation, the south rim of the Grand Canyon, and ended up in Vegas. We didn’t make hotel reservations, didn’t have an itinerary, no place we had to be - we just went. It was a wonderful experience that I won’t forget.
We have remained very good friends and if he were closer, I am sure that things would become deeper.
- I still have online friends that I have not met in person - yet. Just as soon as I get my shit together enough to plan a trip to Disneyland, I plan on stopping by Melin’s. If Bob (Big Iron) ever takes that trip out west, he knows better than to not stop by for coffee. Me and Stevicus have talked about meeting in Vegas. Another friend in Montana will be tranferred by his employer to Utah soon and plans have already been made to meet.
The internet may be full of freaks, but true friendships can and do happen. I would hate to think that all of the friendship I have made might not have happened if I had been closeminded.
Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.