Have you ever lost your mojo? Did you get it back?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Since I will be up all night cooking, I thought maybe I could engage some folks in a conversation to help the time go by. I’m bugged lately by the fact/feeling that I’ve lost my mojo. Not certain how else to describe it, but I’m not literally referencing any ‘magical prowess’ I believe I ever had - more like that feeling of ease of confidence, an internal spark, if you will.

Specifically, I think I once was a much more light-hearted person who laughter came easily to. Then I got divorced 3 years ago and I’m not so much that way anymore. I kind of thought by now I’d be beginning to turn a corner and feel like I was getting my groove back. It’s not happening. I’m not depressed, just not quite myself.

Anyone been through this (not necessarily due to a divorce)? How long did it take? Or how long have you still been waiting? I wonder if I’m not going to be “myself” again and need to, therefore, be moving in some other direction. I’m officially stumped.

2

Mojo? Is that something like viginity? I lost mine and it hasn’t come back. Is it supposed to?

3

I lost an old friend three years ago, my sister two years ago, and my brother this past August. My mortality weighs more heavily on me these days than before all that happened. I tend to get maudlin over family on days like this, and sometimes I feel like I have no energy. But then I look at what I do have: a warm roof over my head, the best life partner I could ever have dreamed of having, no debt, freedom to do pretty much what I want to do, and a cat that adores me. Some things are lost forever, but what is left to me is precious.

4

Yes. I think most of us go through this any time there’s a major shift in our lifts, especially when it’s unexpected and we generally perceived as negative. Starting a little over a a year ago, I had a series of unexpected and moderately to severely negative things happen to me over the course of about six months, like sudden money troubles, ending of longterm friendships, losing a job, death in the family, general stress and depression, etc. The bad stuff more or less stopped early this year, but I just felt utterly stalled and powerless for quite some time after. I didn’t have the energy, and even when I did apply it, it just didn’t seem to work out the way it had before. Things that I was good at just seemed to not quite go as well as they had.

I’ve mostly turned the corner now, and really the answer was a lot of support from friends and family, staying positive, and perseverance. My friends and family helped me out where they could, providing reinforcement, opportunities and support. At first, it just kept things from getting worse, but in the end, once things stalled, I faced that choice of just giving up or fighting against my perception of the world being against me, making a plan, and sticking to it. With an effective plan, even when things went poorly, because I’d thought out and prepared for potential downsides, I felt more in control. Once I felt more in control, I was able to act with more confidence. And, ultimately, that mojo you’re talking about, it’s probably 95% confidence. So, it took me about a year or so, but it came back.

That said, several years ago, I had a similar situation, with a nasty breakup, and with less support, it took me WAY longer to recover. And, frankly, to a certain extent I didn’t fully recover which is part of what led to the more recent one. Oddly enough, I generally feel better now than I did even before that several years ago. I still don’t feel like I’ve fully recovered from either situation, but I feel more myself than I have in a long long time. And, really, I now look back on some of it as a blessing, as the trials were a means of really discovering who I am in ways that I’m not sure anything less shocking could have shown me.

5

One time when I was growing up, I just felt like I was always getting tired trying to pedal my bike, and I thought I was just tired for a couple weeks until I found out my tires were flat.

6

Yep. Lost my spark completely for a while there; it’s coming back now. The primary thing that helped was laughter. A funny movie on my own at home helped somewhat. Witty or amusing conversation and anecdotes with friends are the most healing though.

Try it, you’ll like it!

7

I’m feeling in a deep mojo lull. I have a two year and another on the way, and I just (ugh) moved out to the burbs. I’m overworked and always tired. I can’t get my hair to look nice. My commute is too long, I never see my friends, and god knows when I’m going to be able to take a vacation. I have zero vitality or spark these days.

I try to remind myself that this is just one stage of my life, and it will not last forever. I have a lot of duties now, but I won’t always have these. I also remind myself that things weren’t exactly rosy on the past. Each stage of life has different challenges and pleasures.

8

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9

I went through an unusually high mojo in my 50 to 60 decade. At 67 I feel my mojo is waning but
I am fine with that. Mojo is not so important to me these days.

10

I completely lost my Mojo last spring.

I am going through a divorce. My 15 year old son informed us that he is transgendered. I hated my job and I completely hit a brick wall. I took a few months off on stress leave and although some stresses diminished, others increased since I was down to 75% salary. I now have a new job (at the same company) and although I’m still hitting some rough spots I’m in a better place.

My mum died a few weeks back, but she was 79 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so it wasn’t completely a surprise.

I’ve been seeing a councilor and am on some prescription medication, but things are on the upswing. I really am not looking forward to Christmas though. I haven’t liked Christmas in about 10 years: way too much stress.

11

Yep, I’ve lost mine, and wondering where it went! Energy, spark, sense of humour even motivation when it comes to my own self. I’m super motivated about my young kids and new business, and I think that’s what’s taking it all up - there’s nothing left over for me. I hope it does come back, I miss it.

12

Yes, I lost mine a couple of years ago after I could no longer be self-employed and had to re-enter the job market. Been doing temp work for the last two years and everything is taking a hit. My current gig is up the day before Christmas and if I don’t find something I’ll go into foreclosure.

So yeah, I feel you.

13

I’ve been ground down pretty bad by my workplace entirely losing its professional identity and ethics. I’d say I’m “burned out”, I guess.

14

My mojo’s on the upswing, after being completely gone for several years.

I went through a divorce, dropped out of grad school, had trouble at work, and was pretty much without friends of any kind for a long time. All attempts to date led to nothing (that part hasn’t gotten any better yet, so I’ve kind of shelved it for now.)

Improvement has been long in coming and hard earned, but it’s been happening. I’ve been in therapy, which is helping. So are strength training, Feldenkrais, making new friends, quitting my job and working for myself, and starting a new personal project.

I’ve also been thinking about making some other major changes in a year or two. Suddenly, it looks like I have a lot of options I never knew existed. All of that gives me more pep in my step than I’ve had for a while.