I have been doing massages for shoulder issues on other people for the past 30 years. It really should be the first line of treatment for shoulder issues. Very often it will be resolved after on deep tissue treatment.
The second shoulder had this incredibly stubborn deltoid insertion issue that had to be nearly beaten into submission with a hammer. I’ve learned so much about the way the shoulder works that I’m a little scared of the things–we take for granted all the myriad ways our shoulders know how to flex, bend and move and we never think for a minute about how epically weird they really are until they get fucked up. I fervently hope I never again get another shoulder injury but if I do I’ll be doing weekly massage starting with the first twinge.
Just reading the phrase “rumpy-pumpy” made me cringe so hard that I’m going to need a message from a licensed professional masseuse.
I’ve had a couple of legit massages in Thailand – no, really they do exist – and I was not very impressed. Traditional Thai massage. I quite frankly found them boring, and I didn’t think I felt refreshed or whatever it was I was supposed to feel. But I knew people who patronized the same masseuse and raved about the results. I always halfway suspect “traditional Thai massage” to be a scam. You travel through the countries in Southeast Asia, and you’re always seeing signs advertising “traditional Cambodian massage,” “traditional Indonesian massage,” etc, almost always in heavily touristed spots. It’s always up in the air just how trained these people are, or if they just opportunistically hang out a sign.
In Thai culture, the blind are considered the best masseurs, and there are at least a couple places that have all-blind staff. I’ve not tried those myself.
I’ve had a massage therapist work on me when I was in heavy training for a marathon and it helped my recovery from long runs. I was naked, but therapist kept a sheet over my private parts and moved it around as needed. I’ve also had more relaxation related massages, some naked some not, and in general they keep your private parts covered.
Some people know what they’re doing, others don’t know so much. My massage therapist specialized in sports injuries for endurance runners, and he was great for me and many other athletes.
it probably depends on what is wrong, but I’ve had massages that fixed a problem that had been bothering me for a while. As in, the results lasted a few weeks, until the problem re-emerged from the same root cause.
It’s not my choice of euphemism, but it makes it clear that the OP doesn’t know whether there are non-sexual massages. I don’t think it’s such an offensive title that it needs to be edited for that.
Before I retired, when I was living and working in NYC, I got a professional massage pretty much every week. I would purchase package deals for 20 massages over a 6 month period, so 40 a year.
The masseuse was a heterosexual male, he and his wife were also personal friends of mine. He was highly qualified, he was in business for himself but his previous job was as the masseuse at the Four Seasons NY.
The general rule I followed with massages was underpants on, bra off. A professional masseuse should be very good at knowing how to drape you to maintain your modesty. While it is not sexual at all, I was always more comfortable with a straight male provider. I was not concerned about being sexualized but I was self-conscious about my body being judged, especially if the provider was a twenty something female that wore a size 2, and I felt straight men were less critical of women’s bodies.
I also got massages occasionally on cruises and other vacations, but that 2-3 year period when I was able to afford weeklys was pretty awesome,
I brought my own music to my massage sessions, I don’t like that tinkly spa music and listening to music I like kept me from getting bored —- yes, a 60-90 minute massage can get boring.
I haven’t had a real massage in a couple of years, but I do have a good massage chair. It’s not nearly as accurate as a real massage, but it has some advantages if you like really firm pressure during your massages, like I do….the chair is stronger than a human masseuse, and the chair doesn’t get tired.
ETA: Thai massage isn’t a massage you receive in Thailand or from a Thai person, it’s a style of massage, more of a whole body thing where the practitioner arranges you in different positions, kind of like being massaged while doing gentle yoga. Despite the description, it’s still not sexual.
I used to get deep tissue massages when I was going to a chiropractor. It was usually fairly painful as she was really mining for gold. The relief afterward was good, though.
Yes, one time.
I was going on a dove hunting trip, and had managed between being stressed at work and sleeping funny to put a monster crick in my neck. Not a huge deal if all I was planning on doing was sitting around in front of a computer, but this weekend promised to be somewhat active.
So I hit up my wife’s masseuse- a friend of hers named W. (who has her own set of stranger-than-fiction stories that surround her, but those are other stories). So I wasn’t too worried about it getting weird- W had her own boyfriend, I was married, and W and my wife were close.
Anyway, W did the usual massage stuff, and worked on various pressure points. The only one I remember being weird or painful was one that was kind of somewhere near the crease between my ass-cheeks and perineum; there wasn’t anything sexual about it, but when she pushed on that spot, I about flew off the table. But it worked, my legs/hips felt a lot less tight afterward.
And overall the massage was good- I was not gimped up and inflexible afterward, even if my neck was still sore. 10/10- would recommend. Most of the time I’m not that sort of tight anyway, so I haven’t felt like I really needed to go back, but my wife still does.
I regularly get therapeutic massage and have done so for years.
Also, from time to time I’ll get myfacia massage. That’s like a massage treatment and physiotherapy treatment all in one. That costs $100 for an hour’s treatment (painful as he*l) but very well worth it.
I was under the impression that “The Straight Dope” was a humorous question and answer column in an alternative newspaper and not a nursing home for geriatrics.
Not even to change the offensive term to [sex]? It’s a good thread, the OP has been schooled that in spite of popular misconceptions an LMT is not a sex worker and the specific term used in the OP is uncomfortably evocative to say the least.
It’s also not a middle school boys locker room so there you have it.
I get massages fairly regularly.
They’re not like a massage from a friend or SO, they’re more like treatment from a doctor - I’m including massages at spas in that, not just more obvious medical massages. The massage therapist is there to do a job, and that’s that. If you’re not comfortable with people touching you, it might help to think of it that way.
For mine I end up stripped down to my underwear, but if you were really uncomfortable and only wanted your upper half and maybe feet done, it wouldn’t be weird to keep your trousers on.
Usually you book in for a specific type of massage, and there might be one available that’s mostly neck and shoulders. If there isn’t, then speak to the masseur and they should adjust to your needs. I have had a couple that have a routine they don’t like to deviate from - I don’t book them again.
It would be worth mentioning to the masseur that you’ve never had a massage before and you’re a bit nervous.
You don’t know how good it is to read you and SmartAleq talk about how panful frozen shoulder can be. I’ve had it in my right shoulder for ten years, and my left shoulder not as badly for maybe five years, and everything online seems to treat it as a minor complaint that will just got away.
At my last scan the doctor said the fluid in my right shoulder has essentially turned to concrete. Cortisone injections do nothing. It’s also complicated by fairly significant rheumatoid arthritis swelling and some osteoporosis in both shoulders. (I’m only 46, my body is a bit fucked).
The next step is an operation, but, well, it’s been ten years, I don’t know if it’ll ever happen. 
What gave you that idea? Sexophobia runs rampant here.
Dude, that is messed up–TEN YEARS? I don’t think I’d survive that, it’s bad enough that I’m having to retrain my left arm now to stop guarding from pain that’s been resolved, but the brain learns what the body teaches it and my brain still isn’t convinced it’s okay to just let the arm move naturally. And cortisone is a substance that should be approached with great caution because if it’s used correctly and sparingly at the right time and place it can do great good but overuse basically turns joints into mush and stone. After trying one shot in the first shoulder I decided not to bother when the second shoulder started in–likewise I saw no great benefits to PT exercises either. I faithfully did my exercises with shoulder #1 but decided not to bother with #2 and instead went straight to massage and damned if #2 didn’t resolve a LOT quicker than #1. If I’d known then what I know now I could have saved myself months of agony. Live and learn, right?
Sadly, Slug never got around to covering sexy massages with the SO
I do get the massages, every couple of months or so because I can’t afford more than that, and do the exercises (well, my own adaptation of them), do exercises in the bath, use a hoist thing to pull my arm up, and get my GF and my daughter to lift my arms up and down for me every day. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to use my right arm at all.
Sometimes I wear a sling that takes some pressure off my right shoulder, but I have bad RA in my elbows, so bending them to get in the sling hurts, and my left hand doesn’t rotate due to an old break, so using that hand isn’t optimal. Man, it’s amazing my arms do anything at all 
Thank you - sometimes I feel like it’s a minor thing that I shouldn’t complain about at all.