Ah, now I understand. We are in complete agreement Stranger on a Train.
The day I came home from work early and found a half dressed 25 year old guy hiding in my garage, the only other person home at the time was my 14 year old step daughter. He told her he was only 17. The only other time I can think of that I felt that kind of rage was the night a couple of teenagers assaulted my wife. I didn’t have to kick anyone’s ass that night, one ran and the one that stayed and challenged me found out bouncing off brick walls can be rather painful.
I would never, ever threaten to kick someone’s ass.
That just warns them that the suckerpunch is coming.
Much better to inform them after the fact, with “I just kicked your ass” or “Feel that? That’s what you getting your ass kicked by me feels like.”
I’ve threatened to kick someone’s ass fairly often and I’ve been threatened by people who were gonna kick my ass fairly often. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. West Dallas in the 1950s was not a nice place.
I’m assuming trash-talk during extended video gaming sessions doesn’t count. 
I’ve never felt the need to inform someone I was going to kick their ass. I do my damndest to avoid fights – I’m not keen on hurting, thanks – and the few times I’ve gotten into one since school have all happened without warning. One was when a punk tried to steal my wife’s purse, another was at a bus stop where a meth-head ended up with me sitting on him until the cops arrived… none were in situations where lots of chest-pounding and whatnot were involved.
My opinion is, if you have enough time to tell someone you’re gonna kick their ass… you have enough time to figure out a better solution.
One time I let a friend borrow ten dollars and when I was supposed to get my money back he acted like I never lent him any money. I just flat out told him if I didn’t get my money back “I’m going to beat the shit out of you” and I got the money back. There have been a few other times as well. I’ve seen my Dad threaten numerous people. My Dad got in an argument with a guy I roomed with and told him straight up “I will fucking kill you” and he backed down pretty fast. My Dad can be a pretty intimidating guy and I once saw him in another encounter with a guy who was talking a lot of shit and even though it sounded hokey my Dad was telling him how he hoped he had a good reconstructive surgeon and he might be able to put his face back together and to top it off he said that in front of a cop who didn’t seem to even care.
At least once a week, but I guess I get a pass on being a “blowhard” since it is while doing the whole security job thing. It really does help get the thugs moving quicker.
I’ve never had to follow through.
In grade 7 I threatened to kick someone’s ass and a fight was scheduled which somehow we both managed to lose. We were the two weakest girls in school and a third girl couldn’t stand the utter lack of ass kicking going on and kicked both our asses. The bad part was when she sat on my head. That was the end of my ass kicking notions.
Stranger – word.
If you filter out professionals doing their jobs (cops, bouncers), children, young studs who have not yet matured, and folks with anger management problems, I expect the list would get pretty short. To me, it makes a lot more sense to walk away or call the cops. If that is not physically possible, then just do the deed – don’t talk about it.
Never threatened anyone, as I tend to try and avoid confrontation. I have however kicked some ass once. Some girl got in my face calling me a whore (loudly and repeatedly in front of my friends) because her boyfriend hit on me, so I just clocked her one and she dropped. It was in a nightclub and I was only 19 years old at the time. First and probably last time I will ever hit someone in anger - my hand hurt like crap afterwards and I was shaking like a leaf for the longest time, but it felt REALLY good to shut her mouth!
Once , in a parkinglot, on a really hot day… Child (mayby 5 yrs old) was throwing up beside car (no biggie -its a parking lot).
Dad (or male in charge of child) is shaking kid by collar and yelling “STOP THAT!! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!”
With out really thinking, I walked over grabbed the guy by his collar and yelled “Stop that! Stop That right NOW!, or I will kick YOUR ass!!”
Then I said… “Let’s get that little guy inside, out of the heat and get him a drink of water…” (totally calm)
Dad (or who ever looked dazed for a second and said … “uhh, yeah… he probably is just car sick…”
You can step on my toe, insult me, or even throw a punch (you get to try to land the first one)… but DO NOT abuse kids around me.
Regards
FML
I’ve been fortunate enough not to end up in the kind of situation that might call for threatening or actual ass kicking. I think I’d suck at it.
Way back in high school -what would be junior high school in the US- a bunch of girls, including me, persuaded the administration to offer a self-defence class, taught at lunch times by a couple of local martial arts guys.
The older guy was Warren, and the younger Darren. Darren mostly got to stand around holding padding for us to hit or kick while Warren offered advice, some good, some dubious. Warren, however, provided an awesome (if unfortunate) object lesson that I’ve always remembered.
About the third week of the course, Darren came in alone. Warren was in hospital. Warren had seen a guy pushing the guy’s girlfriend around in a carpark. Shoving, yelling, etc. Warren had chivalrously gone to the girlfriend’s defence, picking a fight with the guy. The guy put him down hard.
What did I learn from my self-defence course? Stay the hell out of fights. Even if you’re a trained tough guy, you might well end up in hospital. If you’re a wimpy chick who really despises violence, it’s almost certainly not going to work out.
Nope… you just have to learn to fight REALLY dirty… "hugs, kisses, then jewelry across his eyeball…especially if you are non violent pacifist chick… ( your drastic action stops further greater violence)
FML
PS… I taught my daughter this about Rape…
Relax, don’t get hurt, try to leave a recognisable face on the corpse…
Its “nicer” for the family of the departed that way…
FML
Just once.
I was at the funeral for a cousins’ baby that had died while the mother was in labor. The father of the baby decides that the perfect time to break up with said cousin was while the coffin of his son was being put into the ground.
Just about every member of our family threatened to see him in a shallow grave if he ever set foot near her again.
No. I don’t threaten people, and I don’t start fights. If I can’t avoid a fight then things are going to get really interesting, but by then the time for threats has long passed.
Posturing and threats are for people who are trying to work themselves up to fight. I don’t need to do that because either I’m going to finish the fight the other guy started, or I’m going to initiate it without any warning of my intentions if it looks like it’s too dangerous a situation and I can’t get out of the fight. Either way, there’s no point in making threats.
The closest I’ve come to threats is a statement of intention: “I’m not going to let you hurt him.”
In UK football stadiums, we have a chant that goes, "You’re gonna get your fucking head kicked in! ( x 3 to infinity, for best effect.)". Does that count?
Three times I can think of. One in a football game where some guy was looking as though he was about to hit my younger brother, who was filling in for us due to injuries. I ran over and told him if he threw a punch I would take his head off. Wouldn’t have happened if it had been one of my regular teammates he was threatening.
Twice while I was psych nursing patients threatened violence against someone else and I informed them that if they so much as moved a muscle they would end up on the floor. Whenever patients directly threatened me I just talked them out of it without the threats.
About the only time I can remember was maybe five years ago, on the golf course of all places. I was hacking up a series of holes rather spectacularly, and my best buddy kept giving me “helpful suggestions.” After trying to discourage him from doing so repeatedly so I could just stew in silence, I finally told him if he didn’t shut the fuck up I was going to kick his ass. And I think if he had not shut up and given me some space I would have hurt him. Not my proudest moment.
We regularly joke about that to this day.