Thanks, but no thanks.
Until today, I don’t think I have ever had the need to refer to it at all.
Ah, the humble sock, not a mastubatory system I used, the unpleasant chafing seemed out of proportion to the pleasure gained.
I preferred the Lemon Curd method, smear the curd on the tumescent member and get the family dog to lick it off, risky but rewarding.
How can you tell if a Canadian girl is on her period ?
She’s only wearing one sock.
The problem with cumming in a sock is that you only do it in one, so when you put them on, they won’t feel “even.” I suppose you could get a friend to help with the other one…
Hers too, I’m sure.
“New, from Johnson & Johnson: Sport Vagisil…!”
*applicator not included
No, huh?
Yeah, but I only don the sock at the very end to play a bit of catcher, as it were. Much less mess than the tissue-paper runway method because the blast radius is contained.
It is not considered proper to wear jerk-socks on the feet after they’ve been tampered with.
Gotta admit, I’ve considered using socks just because I feel bad about all the tissues I go through. Save the trees and all that, y’know?
An expert on the topic of socks, masturbation and alternate methods:
(from Weeds, contains explicit language)
Perhaps there’s a method involving Four Seashells.
Never heard of it until I saw this thread.
A lot of people here have said that. Maybe I’ve got an iron pecker, because I don’t sense the chafing at all. Sure, it isn’t as smooth as a lady’s lovelies, but it doesn’t “chafe.” Socks seem soft and comfy.
One learns to segregate one’s lingerie…
But I’m still intrigued by the notion, upthread, that I’m soaking all of my clothes in a miasma of sperm cells. How powerful a microscope would I need to see traces of this? How would I even prepare the slide? Or are there chemicals that react strongly to sperm cells, and nothing else, that I could use to detect traces in my clothing?
It’s a classic that a UV lamp will show where urine has splashed in the bathroom, a technique used to shame men who don’t aim properly. Is there something like that for sperm?
Mein Gott, what a discussion!
Once upon a time (SHUP, Younguns!
), when I was 13 (in the US at that time), I was invited to an overnight campout.
We had a big tent (there were 10 of us) and we were deep in the woods which were then right across Stockmar Road in Villa Rica, Georgia. A goddam subdivision is there now.
Anyway, after all the ghost stories, the “parking tales”, and such, our host invited the rest of us to “take 'em out, boys, and let’s start to be men!”
I didn’t know what in the fuck they were talking about until the guy said, “Think about what you saw in the Sears and Roebuck catalog, and get that thing hard, boys!”
So I did that, but although I knew I was supposed to have my penis (okay, dick) in my hand, I didn’t know what was supposed to happen, so I just started slapping my belly, thinking that would fool them into thinking I was doing whatever it was I was supposed to be doing.
Now I know it’s a “Circle Jerk”, right, guys?
It didn’t work. So kind friend that he was (may he rest in peace) he showed me what was supposed to happen, and I got my “masturbation education” from him that day, and no we didn’t make love to each other, okay?
But I digress, don’t I?
Back when I could get it up, I always used toilet paper as my “Catcher’s Mitt”.
Pleeeeeez don’t tell anyone about this, okay??? 
Thanks
Quasi
bump
Sox sex sux:D
what a meaningful resurrection!!!
You got semen in my toejam !!
Hey, you got toejam in my semen!!
Two great tastes that…uh…well, you know.
I hate reading my old posts. It makes me go, “what were you thinking, dumb ass???”
Quasi
That describes 10% of my posts.
I once tried using toothpaste as a lubricant… My thought was that the “tingle” might be erotic.
Bad idea… The “tingle” turned into a very uncomfortable burning sensation.
Ah, to be young again!
nm
I had a friend that used to call bathing “filth averaging”, in that it broke up concentrations of dirt and deposited it evenly over your body (he ignored the portion that went down the drain, I guess). I’m reminded of that because what you said brought to mind the phrase “semen averaging”.