Somebody who takes it wrong–whether they are offended, or think you want a relationship when you do not. Especially if their being offended can negatively affect you, like if they are a friend, coworker, boss, etc.
And, yes, yes I have. Once with a younger girl at a dance, who thought I meant something by it, but also thought I was too old for her. And once with a girl who essentially became my girlfriend because I was too shy to tell her otherwise. That is, until she revealed to me that she thought she was a vampire (which was two years later. It was a long distance relationship.)
I’ve also once more apparently flirted with someone, even though I had no intent of doing so. She was a receptionist at my college, and thought I was hitting on her. If only she would have told me, instead of assuming, we wouldn’t have had the big blowout we did.
Taking into account the extremely broad range of behaviors that can be interpreted as “flirting”, I’d say it’s probably my default mode of communication.
Yes, with a married girl at work. And yes, I knew she was married.
In my defense, she started it, and I’m normally not good with women, and the fiew times I’ve out and out flirted with women, I never realize it at the time. But at any rate, she would always make little comments around me, things like,
“Oh, you’re totally the cutest guy working here,” and find little ways to touch me. Once I realized I was flirting back, I stopped, especially when I found out she was going through a rough pach in her marriage.
That was about a year ago, and I figured they patched things up cause she stopped talking about it (I know her husband had an alcohol problem, and went to rehab.)
Cut to last weekend where a bunch of us are at a bar for a coworker’s going away party. We’re all a little tipsy, and I just make a silly little joking comment along the lines of,
“Ok, which of you ladies are coming home with me?”
She looks right at me and says in a way too serious tone,
“COme talk to me in a couple months when I’m divorced.” :eek:
When I was single - I pretty much flirted with everyone. However, there were times when off-limits women flirted with me and I resisted (girlfriend of my best friend, for example). But as a single guy, I don’t think I ever crossed a line or flirted with someone I later regretted.
As a married guy - never. I always try to be nice, friendly and charming - but never flirtatious. At least in my head - there’s a very clear line that I don’t ever intend to cross.
Many moons ago, I flew out for a new client meeting at their HQ. The night before, I was sitting in the hotel lounge and saw a hot Turkish looking babe. Now, The Turkish/Syrian look really presses my buttons. I didn’t notice any ownership jewelry (like wedding ring) so I went over to her table and flirted.
She let me sit down and we talked/flirted over dinner. Turns out she IS Turkish but has moved to the states working for the same company (they have branches in Turkey). I hint at a proposition but she nicely turns it down but would express interest if I didn’t live so damn far away. We go see a movie and part amicably.
Next moring I show up for the shuttle. She is there. No biggie, this is ‘get to work’ time. The shuttle keeps dropping people off until only us left. She then gets off at my stop.
Now I’m starting to think…hmmmm…but then think no way. Surely the person that will be my contact will live in this city, not fly in.
Nope…she is my contact.
We had a good laugh.
However…it COULD have been disasterious! Shit, it could have resulted in my being fired.
I am a compulsive flirt.
I am an equal opportunity flirt. (Male, female, young, old, etc.)
I flirt with strangers.
I flirt with people I know.
It is genetic; both my parents are flirts.
My latest was with a man in the grocery store aisle this past Saturday. He was older and really knew how to flirt, too.
With a guy who I knew who I knew had a girlfriend (whom I didn’t know)…we hung out with some other people and sort of flirted and got a little physical but I came to my senses by the end of the night…
I used to flirt with this girl at work who had a boyfriend whom I considered a douche. Not that it’s an excuse, but at the time I saw it as me offering to rescue her from a dickhead. Not proud of my behaviour.
Over the months, things got a little out of hand between us. She once said, when a bit drunk, “I’m really attracted to you, and I think I love you, but I love him too”. It started messing with my head, so eventually I told her “either leave him for me, or I can’t see you any more”. She got upset and asked “is it really all or nothing?” I said yes, she chose to stay with him, and I walked away.
She tried to keep in touch but I ignored her. Eventually I capitulated and we started talking on email again a couple months ago, and I discovered he had banned her from seeing me - something I would completely understand, if I’d been in his shoes.
Anyway, she emailed two days ago: he walked out on her on Monday, and isn’t planning to come back. And could I take her for a drink this weekend? I’m picking her up tomorrow evening. :eek:
Depends what outcome I’m looking for. Lasting romance? I do like her a lot, but am also aware that if she’d behave like that with me, then she’d likely behave like that with many. And she didn’t choose me when I threw down the gauntlet for her. If, however, all I’m looking to do is scratch an itch that we’ve both had for a while, so to speak, then perhaps it won’t be so bad. Once I’ve spent the requisite time being a shoulder to cry on. Is that very cynical?
Well if what you want is a roll in the hay with someone you’ve been wanting to roll in the hay with for some time, have at it. Be warned, the excitement from that kind of thing wears off rather quickly if you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, it will be utterly anticlimactic, and a few weeks of a rush, followed by a frenetic crash-and-burn will seem enviable. In either case, there will not be a simple, “Well that didn’t work out,” and then walking away unscathed. Only unpleasantness will come of this… is what I hear.
I think maybe my definition of flirting is a bit broader than some people’s. I just consider it charm on a somewhat more personal level, not ‘hitting on’ anyone. As long as you’re very observant – and I think most charming people are, which is why they can get away with murder and innuendo – there’s rarely a problem.
