At work I got to know this married woman and we chat and the like, she always looks at me straight in the eye when I talk to her and when I am around her is always in my personal space we get along good, I can joke with her and she always like pretends to slap me or dig at me.
Flash forward to today and there is a barbecue happening in a few months time, I had to go round my co workers and ask if they were going or not, this woman in particular was working next to a mate of mine, so I asked her if she was going and he said before she could reply ‘yeah you should go then, you could be his date’ which in turn I got embarrassed.
But what was interesting was what happened next, I said she could bring her family with her, and I said she could take her son or husband, she hesitated said her husband probably would be working and her son wouldn’t want to go.
I asked my friend who was working next to her later that day. if she was just as flirty with him as she was with me, and he said that she flirts more with me.
I’ve learnt the hard way not to shit where I eat, I just wondered what she was doing is harmless flirting and I’m reading too much into it, or it’s something else.
Sounds to me like she has a thing for you, I suggest next time the two of you are alone you try making out with her. That should answer all your questions right away
Seriously though, don’t. I think Pandabear is spot on, she needs someone she can be flirty/familiar with at work, and for whatever reason you’re it. Keep an eye on it and try to avoid situations that might lead to it moving past just flirting. Like letting her be your pretend date at the company BBQ. ESPECIALLY if there will be alcohol there…
Angel on one shoulder: You do not dip your pen into the company ink well.
Devil on other shoulder: She wants you, go for it, what are you waiting for?
If you listen to the angel, there will be no consequences.
If you listen to the devil, you might have the time of your life, but there might be some serious consequences.
It sounds like she flirts with guys, and I wouldn’t be surprised that if your friend had responded more to her, that she may have flirted with him more.
With some people it’s harmless, with others it blows up big time, and it sounds like you’ve been though office drama before. More potential risk here than you would really like.
Can’t believe no one has asked for pics yet. What does she look like? (just curious). And what is your relationship status? If you are single go for it you only live once!
QFT. For some women that’s their way of showing friendship with nothing more implied, and she may just be more comfortable with you than with some other coworkers. I wouldn’t assume there’s any romantic or sexual interest unless she’s clear about it.
And yeah, not a good idea to act on it. If you want a serious relationship with her (and are willing to bust up other relationships to do it) you need to wait until one of you changes jobs. If you just want a fling, there are lots of other fish in the sea. You’ve got a good friendship that makes your work day more pleasant, why mess with it?
Jeez, friends can flirt with friends without it being sexual. In college I had straight women flirting with me ALL.THE.TIME! It just meant they liked you as a friend.
Still, he’s not just talking about flirting, but about the possibility that it’s something she doesn’t want her family to know she’s doing. Not that I’m sure I see that, but that’s what the OP appears to be using as evidence that she’s going too far.
Why wouldn’t she want her family to know how she acts at work? Maybe she’s afraid you wil embarass her in front of her husband. Maybe she doesn’t feel the need to explain her working-day relationships to her family. Maybe she just wants to do somethign differnt and not hang out with her husband every minute they are both out of work. Maybe her husband works weekends, or has a hobby. And I am sure her son really doesn’t want to hang out with his mom’s office mates for any reason.
She likes you in the sense that she’d probably go out with you if she was single, but at this stage in the game you’re keeping her entertained at work. She probably has no interest in making this serious, and even if she does, it won’t move a step out of the office.
So flirt back, look, but don’t touch. Anything else, and you’re the one who’s going to get burnt.
At one former job there was a single man who flirted with all the married women (of which I was one) - but only the married ones. I liked him. Not LIKED liked him (to use the fourth grade vernacular). Projecting my own experience onto yours - Yes, she likes you. She flirts because it’s fun, makes the work day a little less dull, and since you know she’s married she doesn’t have to worry about fending you off.
That bit about telling you her husband won’t be at the barbecue makes me a wee bit nervous that she’s thinking of crossing the line UNLESS you were trying to get an accurate head count for the event.
And if I’m totally wrong (which shouldn’t surprise anyone, particularly me) and she’s making a play for you JUST SAY NO. No good can come from that.
Well there won’t be alcohol served at the barbecue, don’t get me wrong guys I won’t do anything stupid, like I’ve said before I’ve had an unpleasant experience like this before. I maybe blowing it all out of proportion, due to the fact I can’t read people well, I think that my perception is off due to me liking her
My husband was single for many, many years before we married. In his experience there were married women and then there were “married” women. It was always clear to him which ones meant to actually BE married.
