Help Me Figure This Out -- Is She Interested In Me

Hey, thanks for reading. First off let me say I am not saying this is an ideal situation, and I understand all the ramifications. I am asking this question to figure this out.

Here is the deal. I recently started a new job, large organization with a lot of people. There is a female, a few years younger than me, drop dead gorgeous in every way possible. She is married, has been for a number of years. She got married young. When I first started working there I’d pass her in the hallway once in a great while and just say hello. I had absolutely no intention of trying to learn her name or anything else. She didn’t talk much, to anyone. Sat at her desk, minded her own business.

I am also married. I am relatively handsome, sharp dresser, and nice to everyone. As time went on (3 months) and we’d pass more and more we’d talk more and more. One day when I was doing business in her area, when I walked by her desk we started a conversation. Nothing crazy, just a few exchanged. Things progressed from there, in a very reserved manner.

One day around the holidays, not a lot of people at work, I mentioned I had to run an errand (personal errand, away from the office) and casually asked if she wanted to go. She said yes without hesitation. We went, had a great time together. Since that day, we started spending more and more time together.

Now let me fast forward two months. We spend a lot of time together, I mean a lot. We talk all the time while at work, we do not work in the same sections and have nothing related to each other at work, there is no reason for us to talk because of work. When we aren’t together we are talking over some e-communication method. We take little “trips” away from our building so we can be together, alone, away from other people. Multiple trips a day.

The physical barrier is gone.

We hug each other, often, multiple times in a few minutes. And I wouldn’t call them “hello” or “goodbye” hugs. She gets up on her tip toes to drape her arms around my neck and shoulders, I start my hands on her waist, slide them to her lower back, run them up her back and sometimes caress her neck from there. I’d say the hugs last anywhere from 3-5 seconds sometimes longer.

When I leave for the day, she walks out with me, we sit in my car and talk for a long time, and always end on another hug, then she goes back to work.

She always tries to face me, if we are in my car or sitting next to each other on a couch somewhere, or standing. She always has her torso facing me and her legs and feet pointed in my direction. When we first started sitting together she would sit in a chair across from the couch. Now she goes to the couch and sits in the middle seat, before I can get there.

She plays with her hair, flipping it, sometimes smelling it, keeps her gaze on me the entire time, and I’ve often seen her licking her lips. Sometimes she is calm while doing it, and sometimes she seems anxious…in an excited way.

Recently, we both had the day off. We met for coffee. When she walked in, she looked amazing. Hair perfect, make up perfect, killer outfit that I’ve never seen. We ended up spending 3.5 hours together, had lunch, sat and talked, etc. That was our first meeting outside of the work environment.

Are these the signs that she is interested in me, more than a friend?

Do you think I’ve described the signs that show she wants me to kiss her?

Again, I know the situation…

Ask your wife for her opinion.

Steering clear of any moral judgment, only you and her can answer that.

you already know goddamn well that she is interested in you, what you are doing is asking our advice on whether or not have an affair with this woman. My advice would be “no”, but I can’t speak for anyone else.

Of course she’s interested in you. The real question is, is it worth losing your job and your marriage to get a little extra nookie on the side? Only you can answer that one.

First post. Who’d have thought?

Big mistake. Don’t do it, dude.

Sheesh, kids these days. Exaggerate a bit here and there and spice up the details. Submit to Penthouse Forums. (is that a thing yet?)

I am trying to figure out a job where I can run personal errands on company time plus take along a co-worker from a different department.

I think the OP should get a second job. He’ll never afford the alimony working one job.

Since you have to ask, I take it you have never had an affair, because that is exactly where you are headed. Only you can run the cost/benefit analysis necessary to decide if it’s the right thing to do. You get no judgment from me either way.

I’ve never had an affair and it’s pretty fucking obvious to me.

Easy, get a gummint job.

Office romances are tough, even tougher when you’re both married. (I’ve been there). In our case, both of our marriages were failing anyway. Even so, we lasted less than a year.

Be aware that everyone at work knows what you’re up to (even if you haven’t consummated the relationship yet). Are you ok with that?

You don’t say whether your marriage is in good shape. Do you have kids? If so, think twice and then think again.

(All that being said, I wouldn’t trade my time with my lady friend for anything. It was a wonderful experience. But, we were very fortunate in that there were no repercussions. I wouldn’t bet on that, if I were you.)

Ditto.

Why are you even considering this affair … if she’d cheat on her husband, she gonna cheat on YOU … and she knows you’re a cheater too … I don’t care how much you hate your wife, your divorce her FIRST, then go fooling around with married women …

Have you asked your female co-worker if she’s been tested for AIDS recently? … it’d been a shame if you infected your wife … just saying …

Thank you all for your comments and opinions.

Since she has AIDS, I am not going to continue hugging her.

I’ve asked for the post to be removed.

Best to all.

You’re new in this job, and you’re wondering if your first big accomplishment should be sleeping with a co-worker?

Okay, here’s my anecdote. Years and years ago I was coming out of a bad relationship, and a married woman I worked with started flirting with me. I wasn’t interested in starting anything up, especially not with a married woman, so I ignored it. She got more aggressive with her flirting, eventually hitting a point that these days could be considered harassment. I still didn’t do anything, and she finally stopped.

A couple months later, I was walking past her cubicle and I heard her on the phone, telling a friend that she and her husband had some problems, but were trying to work through them. If I had taken her bait, I might have been the last straw in a troubled marriage.

You have two marriages to consider, plus you work in an era where sexual activity between co-workers is a lot more of a potential problem than in the past. Figure that out.

And ask the woman’s husband. It never hurts to get a second opinion!

Stranger

I don’t think he likes our humble opinions too much.

No, you send her a note saying, “Do you Like me, circle yes or no?”

I prefer checkboxen to circles.