I’m having an increasingly difficult time sitting down at the table with my friends and relatives who are vegetarians, to the point where I think I’m going slightly batty.
My sister, one of my housemates and at least 3 of my closest friends are all vegetarians. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t socialize with them very well, because our dining options leave me feeling alienated, pissed off, misunderstood and in the general angst ridden state I thought had been abandoned with my teenaged years.
The biggest bugaboo is now family meals. My sister and I can go out to a restaurant, and I’m generally able to find something I consider palatable, as is she, but there is just no way to make a meal to share.
She finds flesh abhorrent, and I find plant based protein sources (specifically but not limited to: tofu, tempeh, quorn and any sort of fake meat) squick me out to the same degree. If we’re served the other’s food we both feel like we’ve been served a plate of steaming poo.
Not sure where I’m going with this, I’m really bad about cogently explaining my emotional responses, but if anyone has any suggestions, it would be great.
In my ramblingness, I forgot to mention that I’m also a fairly accomplished cook, and that I own at least 3 cookbooks dedicated to vegetarian cooking and vegetables.
One of the reasons I decided to ramble here is because I feel like I’ve made a good faith effort. The issue that I run into is that when I make a vegetarian meal, I always walk away from the table wanting. I could eat 1000 calories, and still feel strangely unsatiated. There is a nagging sense of missingness.
If I make a vegie thai curry, or indian food, or insert whichever cuisine here, at least some significant part of it, has got to be meaty or I feel like I haven’t eaten.
How about dairy and eggs? Could you come together over a cheese pizza, or a spinach quiche, or a plate of fettucine alfredo?
You should all go in together on a big vegetarian cookbook (or get one from the library) and talk about what you like and don’t like. I recommend Deborah Madison’s Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, and The Passionate Vegetarian by Crescent Dragonwagon (yeah, really.) If you can’t find anything you like in one of these books, than you have to face the fact that you aren’t a put-upon carnivore, just a picky eater.
Your second post changes things a bit. I guess I would just repeat what I said in the other thread. Is there any problem with just making some meat on the side, rather than having to incorporate it in the dish? For example, if you’re doing an Indian curry, add a tandoori marinated chicken breast for you.
Grow a friggin’ backbone. “Look, Sis, this is MY meal and I’m not forcing you to eat any of it. ‘Animal Rights’ is a doctrine like ‘Virgin Birth.’ The people who believe in it really, really believe in it and the people who don’t, really, really don’t, and there’s no middle ground or any compelling evidence to sway me. Now shut up and hand me those salted baby fingers.”
I Highly recommend recipes from The Now and Zen Epicure
by Miyoko Nishimoto
The Book Publishing Company Summertown, TN
When I was being vegetarian, I fed stuff from her recipes to many carnivores, sometimes with them not even realizing they hadn’t had meat … but mostly with them being fed, fully aware, and being Quite surprised to discover they were … satisfied, just like if they’d eaten critters!
You Gotta try the Tofu Bourguignon … except make it with the Seitan
I’m a vegetarian, and I have to admit I wish you were one too, but you’re not. It sounds like you’ve been very flexible and understanding. I say if you want to eat meat, eat it and don’t let it become a big freakin’ issue. As a vegetarian, I worry more about turning off the meat-eaters than otherwise. Heaven forbid I should come across some kind of crackpot.
I think you should just say that you abhor faux meat products, but you would love to come over and eat just veggies and rice with them. Then on the way home, stop and get a burger. That way everyone’s happy.
cher3, thanks for responding to this thread. I appreciate everyone’s suggestions, really, I do.
I’m sure that there are a number of issues that are wrapped up here. Family members never push each other’s buttons, nope never.
Anybody have ideas for slightly more formal meals, more complicated than casual get together, but not as complex (& issue laden) as Thanksgiving/Christmas.
We’re semi-vegetarians, and anything with pasta in it never fails to fill me up. I got a recipe from a friend for a killer pasta primavera with lots of garlic and parmesan. Add some crusty bread and a salad and you’re good to go. We make it all the time and it’s always a hit with guests, veggie or not.
Then again, you do admit that there may be an emotional component. There are people who just don’t feel they’ve had a meal unless it contains MEAT. That may e something you’ll have to work out on your own. Perhaps remember that the main point of the gathering is to socialize?
Barring that, I’d like to remark that my mother prides herself on making just enough food so that everyone has a scant plateful, with no seconds and no leftovers. We always stop off for a bite on the way to my mom’s for dinner. Food for thought (heh heh).
I have a hard time eating vegetarians too! They are so stringy! And the flavor is a bit off. I suggest boiling them before you put them on the barbeque, they’ll be much more tender.
Jeez, Krokodil, did you read past the second paragraph of the OP? There’s no indication that his sister is trying to convert him to animal rights (or even that she believes in them at all - not all vegetarians do). They’re trying to find foods they can both eat, that’s all.
It never ceases to amaze me the way some omnivores think that vegetarians by our very existence are trying to pick a fight with them.
I’m an ominvore married to a vegetarian, so I can sympathize somewhat, White Ink. Out of deference to my husband’s sensibilities, I don’t cook meat in the house, and I’ve gotten pretty adept at vegetarian dishes. I second cher3’s suggestion of Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone. It’s a terrific book, and the author has the very sensible philosophy that while soy products are fine on their own merits, they are not acceptable meat substitutes.
As for family meals, what about veggie lasagna? Not some wimpy, tofu-based atrocity, but a hearty, cheesy, red-sauce lasagna packed with eggplant, peppers, mushrooms, etc. Homemade pizza can also be a classy and filling meal, especially if you do a homemade crust and homemade sauce. (Ketchup on bagels does not count! ) You could do sausage on your half and Sis could do veggies on hers.
You might also have to decide whether family harmony is more important than a satisfying meal. I’m not crazy about my almost-sister-in-law’s cooking. She’s a big believer in canned vegetables and convenience foods, while I like my meals as fresh as possible. But when she invites us over for dinner, I go, I eat, and I compliment. It’s more important to me to honor her hospitality and make her efforts feel appreciated than it is to have a great dinner.
I’m not out to piss anybody off. I want to be able to have a congenial meal with my vegetarian sister or my vegetarian friends. If I have to compromise, I’m willing to, but I’d like compromise to be a two way street, and I’d like to be able to have a meal that is as satisfying to me as it is to any of them.
I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
I do draw the line at LongPig by the way. That’s not good eating.
It’s particularly telling of a person’s level of maturity that they do things for no purpose other than pissing off their dining companions. :rolleyes:
As for the OP – I have to agree with the idea of making dishes to which you can add meat.
Pasta with a vegetarian sauce for everyone, with grilled chicken, sausage or shrimp for you
Soup and sandwich nights with tomato or mushroom soup and each person’s choice of sandwich
Individual pizzas/calzones
Pancake suppers, augment with bacon, sausage or ham for you
