So, Hallboy is fast approaching puberty, and since I’m the single mom and pretty much the Divulger of Puberty Information, I’ve tried to keep communication open in all areas, especially around the area of puberty. (Which, lemme tell ya’ is darn difficult to do with the opposite sex.)
One of the things we’ve discussed is when Hallboy begins…ehm…sprouting hairs, it’s one of the first signals to male-hood and manliness. Hallboy’s response? “Does that mean I get to have a Manly party to celebrate my manhood?”
…Um, sure, I replied. However, come to think of it, I’ve never actually BEEN to a manly party, and really don’t know what’s all involved. Come to think of it, I’ve never even HEARD of a Manly party.
So, I’m appealing to the mass of dopers out there. If you were to have Manly party to celebrate your introduction to manhood, just how would you go about doing it?
Pizza, Root Beer, and porn, NOT PORN, umm…, and watch a manly movie like Sense and Sensibility, no not that, ummm… The Sound of Music, that has Nazis, that’s pretty manly.
Watching MANLY movies like 3 Stooges or Lethal Weapon or something involving cars and things blowing up and NO romance or mushy stuff or too much talking to spoil the action
No women! Not even mom! Especially NOT mom! MANLY men don’t need mom!
Alternatively you could send in out into the woods and not let him back into the camp till he’s found his spirit guide and killed a bear.
Or if no bears are available perhaps some sort of similar but more benign rite of passage? I dunno, rock climbing? Some sort of Manly Achievemt sort of thing? And after that the pizza and root beer and…a Victoria’s Secret catalouge ? (well they’re not nekkid!)
Hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, canoeing or any type of boating, paintball. Whatever you choose, I’d say it should be outdoors. Many men don’t need a roof over their heads. Houses are for women folk and children!
Alternate idea: Sporting event. Anything where serious injury is likely. (Example: Football = excellent choice. Tennis = not so much.)
Assuming this is a serious question about a rite of passage type thing…not to be too prying, but is there a close, older male figure that he is close to (father, uncle, cousin, trusted family friend, etc.)? A good idea may be to have the person take him, some good friends and possibly some good friends’ fathers and have a male weekend camping in the woods.
Of course, if you’d like to be a participant, then paintballing would be a grand ole manly time. Followed by a night of pizza, soda and video games.
First off, make damn sure there’s an excuse for the party besides, “Mom said I could have one when I started growing pubes!” Say, a birthday.
Second, if you’re trying to figure out what activities would be good to have at a manly party, seems like the best person to ask is him. In fact, much as I cringe to say it, this might be a great occasion to have a talk with him about what he thinks it means to be a man. If he tells you that being a man means porn and booze, you need to talk a little more.
Thanks, guys. I knew I could count on the dopers to give it to me straight.
Male in his life…lessee…father is a nutcase and is now half way across the county and hasn’t seen him since he was two days old. Grandfather is also a nutcase, and is half way across the county, and hasn’t seen him for the past five years. Uncle is a selfish bastard who can’t even take care of his own two sons, but is semi-local. Close male friend? Um, nope. Male teacher? Um, nope.
I guess that leaves me. Looks like we’re in for paintball and go-carts with a bunch of friends.
And we have had many talks about What It Means To Be A Man, and his take is that he wants to be a Dad when he grows up.
Well, speaking as a man I didn’t need my Mother talking to me about getting my pubes in. (nor did I need my father talking to me about it for that matter either. Which he didn’t.)
As a matter of fact the mere thought of it horrorifies me!!
I mean don’t get me wrong. Sure teach him to respect women… blah, blah, blah… but as far as: “Your body is going through changes” kind of thing? Nah, I’m going to venture a guess and say your son already knows this.
If he’s anything like me, he’s known for quite some time.
BTW, I’m 35 and I’ve never in my life heard of having a “comming of age” party for a boy. Do girls do this too, when they get their first period?
I came in prepared to suggest chili and beer. However, after reading the OP, the beer is probably not such a good idea, unless you go with non-alcoholic “beer”. Paintball is probably very good, as it involves making a mess and pretend battle. Now, you just need to add “pissing on trees” somewhere in there.
In all seriousness, though, I’d suggest adding some extra responsibilities after the Manly Ritual. Things like being in charge of doing his own laundry, being in charge of getting himself ready for school and other appointments on time with no nagging from Mom, stuff that adults do. You know what he’s capable of doing, just present it to him as part of being more grown up now. When my daughter got her driver’s license, for instance, I told her that she was responsible for taking her JROTC uniform to the cleaners and picking it up. The cleaners sent us a monthly bill, so she didn’t have to worry about that bit, but it was HER job, from then on, to remember to drop off her uniform and pick it up on the appropriate days.
? (well they’re not nekkid!)