Having senior or blond moments

I made my friend, who was doing me the favor of picking me up after work and giving me a ride, wait for close to fifteen minutes while I tore up my store in a panic looking for my car keys.

She was there to drive me to the garage where my car was being serviced…and where the keys were left with the car.

I have driven packages all the way to the post office on federal holidays. “I never get a parking spot this good here …oh yeah.”

I do this kind of shit all the time. But being a senior, I don’t remember them.

I often get into an elevator and wonder why it isn’t moving. Then I realize I haven’t pressed my floor button.

I also often mistake my cell phone for my mouse and drag it across my desk in frustration before I realize I am an idiot.

That reminds me…

At work I use a laptop for point of sale and all general computing. I also have a piece of equipment that is run by a desktop computer that came with it. Most of the time I use the laptop standing up at the counter that the desktop lives on.

About once a week I step up and grab the mouse for the computer I’m not using and get disproportionately frustrated when it does nothing to operate the computer that I AM using.

This was a while back, but it was a lulu - during the 1996 olympics in Atlanta part of the traffic control plan was to move the shift times of most downtown workers. I ended up having to report to work at 3:00AM during the games. After work I would walk around the city and take in the Olympic spectacle. One evening when I arrived home I was very tired and decided to catch a nap. I went into a full bore panic when I woke and the clock showed 7:00. I had overslept by 5 hours! I called work to let them know I was on my way in. No one answered - crap, they must be super busy! I left a message and dashed out of the house without even changing clothes. I jumped in the car and took off like a bat out of hell. After about 20 minutes of driving the show on the car radio finally pierced my conciousness. Atlanta Braves baseball pre-game. Huh? At 7 in the morning? Where are they playing, Japan?

Oh, wait. It’s 7:00PM. I had only been asleep about 30 minutes. In my defense, it was the time of year when the sunlight at 7AM and 7PM look about the same. Different sun position, same amount of light. And don’t forget, I had left verbal evidence of my brain cramp on the department voice mail. I caught a ton of abuse the next morning.