Yes folks, it’s that time again, time for a brand, spankin, new Chick tract. Typical Chick tract, guy gets hurt, either gets saved or doesn’t, and is sent to Heaven or Hell. I won’t spoil it for you.
Ironically, despite the thread title, there are no "HAW HAW HAW"s in this tract. There is a “NOOOOOOOO!” though.
she just had $26000 in her handbag???
chick doesn’t believe in banks?
Is it just me, or does it look like Bob has Bruce Campbell’s chin?
I’m a little freaked out that the John Waters look alike has returned, and is this time talking about a “tender boy”…
What I want to know is this: If Chick’s claim that
Then how the heck does Chick explain his continued existence? (Assuming, of course, there is a God.)
I learned a very important lesson from this comic:
Jesus was a mummy!
“He’s totally evil and he laughs at God.”
HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!
Now THAT’S funny!
Why must such expressions as “dead meat” and “you’re going down” be used? And that mustachioed guy has that same look as in that last tract (featuring the misplaced “You just took the lord’s name in vain!”) that makes me uncomfortable (such as when he “defines” a virgin).
I ordered a Chick catalogue a few weeks ago for the hell(:D) of it; I was amused at the Alberto comic books with a book “proving he exists”.
And was it necessary to have the guy say “He’ll save your NECK!” in the same panel that shows his neck in a hi-tech neck brace? I wonder if ol’ Chick likes to hide jokes that could be denied easily.
Well, of course Chick doesn’t believe in banks. I wouldn’t even have to wonder more than a nanosecond to guess right about who he probably thinks runs all the banks.
The guy gets thrown into the firey pits of hell offstage?
Ridiculous. I want a refund. Jack’s really losing his touch with this most recent set of tracts! And Bob’s lacking his usual mojo as well; couldn’t he have exorcised the demons from the kid before it was too late? (I’m assuming there were demons, because all non-Christians in the Chickverse seem to be carrying a couple.)
sorry, i forgot that.
REAL fundamentalists keep money under the matress though.
handbags are for those liberal types.
I love that the cops had to check him out because he was wearing a purse. “Hey! That homeless guy is not obeying societal fashion norms! Let’s check him out!”
I also love the look all Chick heathens get when surprised, like they just had a rusty nail jammed up their ass. “(Gasp!) It’s Bruno!” (Right before he gets his neck broken from a headlock – methinks Chick has been watching too many low budget action movies, where villiains’ necks break like dry pretzels.)
Damn…I was really pulling for bruce there towards the end
The thing about Chick that cracks me up the most:
Evil guy: I laugh at God. I don’t believe in God. God is nothing. To hell with God. God doesn’t exist and you’ll never ever convince me otherwise no matter how compelling your argument and no matter how long you talk to me about it.
Uncle Bob: But Jesus died for your sins.
Evil guy: {boing} He did? Duyuh … I never knew that. Please tell me more.
“…and they all burned happily ever after. The End.”
This anticlimax was absolutely brilliant.
I especially enjoyed the “I’m going to tell you something that will save your neck” line, while the guy’s lying on the hospital bed wearing a neck brace the size of a small planet. Unintentionally hilarious.
It was so helpful of Jack to footnote and explain quadraplegia.
And the guy was so evil he was not only paralyzed but developed pneumonia INSTANTLY!
I agree with the anticlimatic-ness. I want to SEE the sinner cast into Hell with a HAW HAW HAW!
Now this guy got sent to a “screaming Hell”. Makes me wonder what other types of Hell Mr. Chick has in store for his hapless victims.
That was pretty damned (ha!) funny.
I second the humor of the fact that they kicked his ass so bad he became a quadraplegic AND got pneumonia. That’s a hardcore ass kicking right there.
It also ended like a Dragnet episode. Haw.
LC
I have never read a ‘Chick Tract’ before, but I am looking forward to more. I have not laughed so hard, for so long, in quite a while.
The 26K in the purse sort of stumped me for a while, but it makes sense. His mom is A+ #1 A-OK in Chick’s book, so it stands to reason that she has some major bling to carry in her purse. Her son, who is of the devil, is bling-less.
Moral of the story: Accept the Gospels, and get major loot. Don’t, and die a quadrapalegic with a bad cough.