Wait, I’ve rethought my army. For the front line, we’re going to have trombones with bass bows tied on to the slides, as a sort of bayonet. (Why bass bows as opposed to violin bows? Because bass bows are shorter and wider, and would hold up better for poking.) Then we’re going to have the fife and drum corps, because every good army needs one of those (plus it fits in very well with the theme). Then the cornets, trumpets, and mellophones will advance. Next come the euphoniums; I think we’ll load those into trebuchets. And our last line of defence are the sousaphones. I wonder if Purdue University will let us use their big bass drum … something to consider.
Plan B: Bagpipes. If you can’t beat 'em, deafen 'em.
Bagpipes and accordions! Together, they will be unstoppable! brandishes piano of death
AwSnappity:
Wait, I’ve rethought my army. For the front line, we’re going to have trombones with bass bows tied on to the slides, as a sort of bayonet. (Why bass bows as opposed to violin bows? Because bass bows are shorter and wider, and would hold up better for poking.) Then we’re going to have the fife and drum corps, because every good army needs one of those (plus it fits in very well with the theme). Then the cornets, trumpets, and mellophones will advance. Next come the euphoniums; I think we’ll load those into trebuchets. And our last line of defence are the sousaphones. I wonder if Purdue University will let us use their big bass drum … something to consider.
Plan B: Bagpipes. If you can’t beat 'em, deafen 'em.
sniff This is one of the most beautiful post that I’ve read in a long time.
I will have you know that scions of the nobility do not wear G strings, especially in combat that close. They clash with the ermine, for a start.
BMalion
January 19, 2005, 1:28pm
125
Did you mean hire a couple of Scots and do a caber toss?
Or did you actually intend to have Scots hurling small vinegar soaked peppercorn type condiments at the enemy?
Either way I want to be on your side.
Awww, are we ever going to get the story from Karl ?
BMalion:
Did you mean hire a couple of Scots and do a caber toss?
Or did you actually intend to have Scots hurling small vinegar soaked peppercorn type condiments at the enemy?
Either way I want to be on your side.
Heh, yep, caber’s what I meant.
Is there a record for how far a given thread can drift from the original subject matter?
Is there a record for how much better a thread can get than the original subject matter?
BMalion
January 20, 2005, 1:25pm
130
[Kel Varnsen-Playtex edition]
Mods - please close this thread because my mom said I have to go home and wash some milk bottles out.*
[/Kel Varnsen-Playtex edition]
*anybody else old enough to have had to do that particular chore?
[geezer]
You had milk bottles? All we had were rubber gloves with holes in the fingertips, and we had to attach them to the cows ourselves!
Kids these days…
[/geezer]
BMalion
January 20, 2005, 4:18pm
133
and our milkman knew all us kid’s names and sometimes we’d get a little tiny carton of chocolate milk if we hung around the truck and said “hi!”.
cheese, eggs, ice cream, eggnog, french-onion chip dip and milk delivered right to your home. Man, I miss Lawson’s Dairy.
Well, shoot. You lost my interest.
Use the oboe as a spear-thrower & you get a lot more distance with the bassoon …
I don’t know if Coronet would do that much damage if it landed on the girl, it’s soft, fluffy and 2-ply…
… but Rosemary Clooney would fuck her up good! She’d flatten a entire city!(Extra value is what you get / When you buy Coronet!)
Or you could wrap her up in Charmin and squeeze her to death.
