Imagine someone in 1952 has a machine for viewing the future. They’ve tuned the machine to view the newspaper stacks in a library. After all, where better to get future history and a stock tip or two? Unfortunately, the resolution is not good enough to make out the stories, just the headlines.
So what REAL headlines might cause some serious sensations for these 1952 guys?
I saw one today: “Atlantis Prepares To Return To Earth.” That might create a good bit of confused speculation.
From current headlines on Google News:
“Microsoft ‘Soapbox’ Takes On YouTube” - would any of that make sense? no familiar company names for someone in a pre-computer age
“Gore calls for more action on warming” - Warming of what??
“10% Of Straight Men Have Sex With Men, New York” - that would probably blow their mind, that something like that would be discussed in a newspaper
“Penis transplant reported in China” - !!!
This might get them:
*Joint Statement by President Bush and Russian President Putin on Bilateral Trade and Investment Relations *
*Dean’s New Southern Strategy: Blacks and Whites Together–Focused on Education and Healthcare *
Or this:
*On Gay Marriage, A Compromise is in Order *
Umm, a typical person form the 50s would probally just think it’s an article on how to have a happy marriage. Homsexuality (let alone same-sex marriage) wouldn’t be on their radar.
Hell, I’m living in the present and it’s confusing to me too.
Replace gay with homosexual, same-sex, man/man, woman/woman, etc. Thanks for the correction.
Something like Nixon Wins Presidency might raise eyebrows…
Currently on cnn.com:
W.H. uploads anti-drug videos to YouTube
“Upload?” “Youtube?” What are these things? Anti-drug? And what’s wrong with drugs, anyway? Aren’t drugs supposed to make you feel better?
Toshiba recalling laptop batteries
I don’t think most folks in the 1950s would have any idea what a “laptop” is. Even an Etch-a-Sketch was not thought of as a “laptop” at the time. Did Toshiba even exist in 1952?
Scientists: We must return to the moon
So, it looks like we’ve been there at least once. Weren’t we supposed to have colonized it by then?
Yahoo sees weakness, stock tumbles
Well, yeah, most yahoos do have weaknesses, and I don’t imagine many of them make very sound investment decisions, either.
President Vows to Destroy All Animal-Human Hybrids.
They didn’t know what a “recall” was, either.
Back then, it just meant “ability to remember”.
A “pot” was something you cook in. Mushrooms were food. Busted meant broken.
***Found Guilty Evangelical Christian Navy Chaplain Says Hell Appeal *** is confusing in any era
My kingdom for an apostrophe!
Almost any headline from the technology news sector would be difficult:
10Gig Fibre Channel is dead, says Emulex
Q3 doubts torpedo Yahoo! shares
Space, Segways and biostratification
Seagate HDD demo points to 275GB iPod-class drives
I’ve always thought that the bumpersticker “FIGHT AIDS NOT PEOPLE WITH AIDS” would be extremely confusing to anyone who didn’t know that AIDS was a noun, not a verb.
Who is this Mister Toshiba fella and why would he remember gun batteries on his lap?
From CNN right now—“Smuggled, gloved apes forced to box.”
Haw! I’ll buy that for a quarter! 
From the BBC: “Woman fitted with ‘bionic’ arm”
“Third priest in diocese accused of child rape”
“Scientists put chip in brain” - Errr . . . why ? A chip of what ?!
“…and the defending World Series Champion White Sox…”
It would be more complete if they remembered to put in, “Space Shuttle” at the front of the headline.