Heavy Metal Parking Lot

I just finished watching it for the umpteenth time. If you haven’t seen it, check it out at: http://www.planetkrulik.com/video.html

It’s about 15 minutes long. Pardon me, I’ve got to change my piss-soaked pants now.

what the hell was that.
that wasn’t funny, that was stupid.
maybe I just missed something.

Oh yes. As a metalhead who went to HS in the DC area, this was my life.

Admittedly, I was WAY smarter than the dolts in this flick, but I was way smarter than my friends too.

A couple of related videos - related as in funny send-ups invioking metal culture:

Metallica Drummer

This flick, found by a person in Canada in a bunch of video tapes he found in his place left from a previous occupant, has a long-haired, shirtless guy sit down, and to the strains of Metallica, play AIR-DRUMS to A WHOLE FUCKING SONG.

It’s as silly as it sounds, but mesmurizing in a psycopathic way…


I have no idea if this is officially out, but it’s amazing.

Guy uses power and influence to videotape Metallica and their fans at a few shows. Dude be most wack. Hilarity abounds as he asks drunken metalheads things like, “What do you think of the situation in Rwanda” (The thank list at the end of the movie actually thanks “the situation in Rwanda”) and asks Madonna to introduce herself at the onset of a chat with her.

Rob Halford admits he’ll spit in Lars’ taco when they drive through the Taco Bell he will work at and Metallica drive through in their limo.

A lot of people admit to being scared of James Hetfield. Tom Araya of Slayer is asked, “You never did a ballad. Do you think you might one day do a ballead? Maybe ‘Nothing Else Matters… But Satan’?” and he cracks up.

And the fans are dumb and dumber. This tape rules, and it’s really long! A must have…

Yer pal,

Own it, love it…

I think the joy of “HMPL” is not so much identifying with the people in it as mocking them. I was a rock chick in high school, big hair and all, but I was never even CLOSE to the level of dimness reached in that flick. I literally fell off the couch the first time I saw it… “My name’s Graham - as in, gram of dope.” Bwaaa haaa haaa haaa haaa!

It’s also a fine prelude to “Decline of Western Civilization 2: The Metal Years.” Here’s a sample interview:

Interviewer: What are you going to do if your band doesn’t make it?

Dumb Guy: We’re going to make it

I: But what if you don’t?

DG: There’s no other option, we’re going to make it

I: But what if you don’t?

and on and on and on…

That and a bottle of Jack Daniels, along with a few friends, and you are SET for a good time.

Where can I get Metalmania and Metallica Drummer? If they’re in you’re possesion, is there anything I could offer for a dub?

Mojo - If you want Metallimania, please e-mail me privately. I don’t have Metallica Drummer, though I have seen Real Video clips on-line…