Height discrepancy trauma whine

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

On Tuesday, I had an appointment with the nurse at my GP’s surgery for an asthma checkup. As part of the check, she measured my weight and height. I weigh 164lb, which is a little more than I’m used to, but I know I’m in a big phase at the moment (got into habit of snacking on sweet food about a month or so ago, got out of habit of exercise, have put on inch on waist and hips). I’ll start waning pretty soon, as I’ve had my fill of cookies for a while, and I’m being more active right now. Anyway, weight, I don’t care. I get bigger, I get smaller, I get bigger, I get smaller. It’s just a slight in-out motion based on habits, so don’t worry, I’m not into any of that yo-yo dieting bullshit.

So, onto the height measurement. I stood against the wall, just kinda standing there like normal, she put the slidy thing down onto the top of my head, I went and sat back down, she came back to the desk and said “Five foot six”.

Five foot six?

Five Foot Six?

I am five foot eight and a wee bit, I’ll have you know. I said “Oh, that’s a surprise, I always thought I was five foot eight”.
“Well, you’re five foot six. If you’ve suddenly lost two inches, we’ll need to find out why. Let me flick back through the records… yes it says you’re five foot six here too”

My sense of identity crumbled. I wasn’t the person I’d always thought I was. Something measurable about me turned out to be a lie. I wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh, um, maybe the person that measured me and told me I was five foot eight wasn’t measuring very well. But I’m quite a bit taller than my mother, and she’s five foot five”

I told my SO what had happened. “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is my asthma’s fine, just great. The bad news is I’M SHORT! She said I was FIVE FOOT SIX! I am TRAUMATISED!”

Finding out that something you always thought was true isn’t true really messes with your head. My head, it has been messed with.

I’ve done some experiments, in front of the mirror, and I think that I probably am five foot eight, but with appalling posture. I must have not been standing up straight when the nurse measured my height. I must have been not standing up straight when the doc measured my height about a year or two ago (I think he took my height, weight and blood pressure when he changed my brand of the contraceptive pill).

I’m still feeling quite a lot of anxiety about this. It’s my height for Pete’s sake. It’s not my soul, or anything important. But I still really, really don’t like it, and I’m not even sure why.

I feel short, squat, and loathsome, or to put it a different way, I’m now a short, fat asshole. I always thought I was a tall fat asshole, and I could deal with that. A short thin asshole would be fine, too. I’d be one of those little shrewy women. A short fat lovely person, that’d be great. Like Miriam Margolyes, but younger and not as Jewish. Two out of three, two out of three.

I know five foot six isn’t anywhere near short, but it’s shorter than I am, and shorter than I feel. I am not a fraud, dammit. I haven’t been lying about my height all these years. When I stand up really straight, as if there’s a string pulling me up, I am noticeably taller than when I just stand. I need to work on the posture. I really, really do.

I’m bonkers in the nut.

2

Having met you, I’d say you’re definitely taller than five foot six. I’d have you down as five foot eight, easy.

Then again, perhaps my perspective is skewed from down here since your head is but a shape in the far distance.

3

I promise I will stand next to you on Saturday, just to make you feel tall again.

4

On Saturday, I shall walk tall.

And if that doesn’t work, I can wear platform sandals.

5

Excess weight on your frame will pull you down and make you somewhat shorter, but your height reduction is mainly a result of your slumping posture caused by your existential angst and moody negativity.

Activities that involve lots of stretching and bending will help stretch you out to pre-cookie levels. So eat less, have more adventurous sex to stretch your back out and improve your attitude, and stand up straight as a proud as a young Englishwoman should!

6

I would have said you were taller than five foot six, too. Mind you, I’m not exactly reliable when it comes to measurements… I live my entire life in a vague blur of approximate relationships.

Aylesbury? Um, it’s… further away than the Co-op… but a lot closer than Tibet.

Cook for 30 minutes? OK, I put it in the oven at… the start of “Captain Scarlet”… and I remembered about the timer round about the “This is the voice of the Mysterons” bit… so it’ll be ready, um, after the closing credits sometime…

I know my hat size, it’s 7 [sup]1[/sup]/[sub]2[/sub]. I’m pretty sure you’re taller than my hat.

7

I think astro may be onto something.

8

Y’know, I’ve had that happen to me as well. I’ve always been 5’6" 1/2 or so. I know I’m that height - every time I do the thing where you stand straight next to a wall and measure where your head is, that’s what it says. However, lately when I’ve gone to the doctors, they always measure me at 5’5" something. I’m like WTF? I dunno - must be some difference in the scales they use.

9

It’s a conspiracy. They are, quite literally, keeping us down.

10

I don’t know, anyone who says “I’m bonkers in the nut” is kind of cute in my book.

So tall, short, thin or fat, I’d hardly classify you as an asshole!

I’ve been meaning to measure my height recently as well. I’ve always thought I was 5’4". But for some reason I suspect I might be taller. Unfortunately it might be because now I’m taller than dad, who’s 5’5". I fear that it’s dad that’s shrinking, not me that’s growing.

11

Tansu,

It seems that I have your missing height. I can not explain how such a thing could come to pass. I am in my late thirties, well past any growing spurts yet it seems I have grown two inches. I recently went for a physical and the nurse reported my height at 6’ 2". I have been 6’ tall for as long as I can remember. I have to go back in a couple of weeks for some additional testing and at that time I will make the nurse return your two inches. I don’t know what prompted her to give them to me in the first place. I apologize for her and hope that you can be patient while I try to sort this out on my end.

Beerfan

12

Excellent. I imagine it’s some sort of problem with the nurse database.

Thank you, and enjoy your beer. I am enjoying mine. :slight_smile:

13

Unfortunately it’s not beer thirty here :frowning:

14

I think the measurement might have been dodgy. Have you tried again somewhere else?