I’m just picturing webbing being blasted everywhere.
Psychobabble about trauma has officially reached its nadir. I was listening to a podcast in which an occupational therapist who is Instagram-famous was a guest speaking about “trauma-informed” decluttering.
Look, I get it. Some people have trauma around housework. It was a point of contention that often led to abuse when I was growing up, and it brings up feelings sometimes. That’s fine.
But the things she was saying were just asinine. If you feel badly about a piece of furniture it’s probably because the color reminds you of past trauma, and “the color red often comes up a lot for women.” Then she said, “It probably symbolizes something that happened or didn’t happen.”
No shit. You mean the entire human experience?
I realized this woman is like one of those psychics who say, “I’m getting this feeling about someone that starts with the letter M…” People see themselves in it and take on these ideas which may either be totally useless or actively harmful. It distracts then from getting real treatment.
That’s what pisses me off about these Life Coaches. They are trying to do therapy for people who need therapy, but they aren’t subject to the same regulations or professional qualifications as a licensed counselor. They have no idea what the fuck they are doing.
I did benefit from an ADHD coach once, but when I looked at the tools she was using, they are basic cognitive therapy tools from about twenty years ago. She’s playing therapist.
I hate it.
Uh oh, red flag.
This is Freud-level wacky.
I mean, that’s just a common tactic of con artists. Trick people into thinking you’re doing something you’re not. It’s like a verbal sleight of hand. (Sleight of tongue? Eww.)
Nah. It was too late, I was too tired, & the lights were most likely off.
Can’t focus at all today, which isn’t great because I have a lot to do at work. The ECSE teacher thinksWee Weasel will do better in the afternoon class because he’s more advanced than his current class, and then he can do ABA in the morning. Which I was on the fence about but things are moving so fast, we’ve gotta figure it out now. Well amazingly, our preferred ABA place does have the morning slot open. So it’s just the logistics for two full-time parents getting the kid from home to ABA, ABA to school, and from school to… Somewhere else… Until we can pick him up. The daycare says they can’t get him off the bus in the afternoon. We’ve called disability transport services and they don’t deal with kids that young.
And I’m scared. I’m scared he’ll hate it or it won’t help.
My job is really ramping up in terms of demands on my time, and believe me, I am having fun at my job, I want to be doing this. But there’s this constant tension between everything he needs and everything I have to do. We just got into this routine of getting him on the bus and everything is great. Now we’re going to mix it all up again.
And the ABA paperwork says the parents have homework and have to practice the skills at home, which of course we will, but it’s just another thing.
I’m going home, I guess.
Transportation is always a tricky thing. It is a barrier that keeps people from getting the help that their children (or themselves) need.
The toddler is coughing a lot and had a tiny wheeze this morning that only I heard. I could be going crazy or he could be getting sick. He had RSV when he was 4 months old and it traumatized me. And I mean that literally. He was so sick for so long and no one could help him. Any time he has problems with his breathing, I go right back there. It’s a nightmare.
I can’t help, but I can give out hugs! 
My mini-rant is still my son. He asked for money again! We said no, but it stresses us out. Me because my mommy-heart wants to give it to him because of the grandkids, but my MOM-brain says, “Aw, hell no! Not again! Grow the fuck up!” Mr Rebo just stresses because I’m stressing.
I have made an appointment with a therapist. The group was recommended by a co-worker. He and his family like their therapists.
I’ve never used a therapist before, and I’m kind of freaked out. But I need to talk to someone besides my husband (and my co-worker!) We’ll see.
If either of these things come to pass, you can change paths. (I mean, if he hates it in the short term, no big deal—we all hate aspects of our worlds—but if it’s a deeper hatred or something.)
Mine too! However, this time, he borrowed the money somewhere else before we had to step in.
Not to leave out the girl-child: Last week she informed me she was sleeping in the breakroom at work because there was an alarm chirping in her apartment and she couldn’t locate it. So I’m stressed because A. that’s not safe, B. she had already been awake more than 24 hours working a long shift, C. what do you mean you can’t find it? D. Can you not get the landlord to help you? E. Is your apartment going to catch fire or something?
After a couple of days, she located a carbon monoxide detector she’d forgotten about and changed the battery. Now I’m on to F: Your apartment is such a sty you couldn’t find a chirping detector on your kitchen counter? 
I’ve had eight million therapists in my lifetime, some great, some terrible, some mediocre. It is scary reaching out for the first time, but a lot of people find it helpful just to have someone to talk to and process what’s going on. And remember it may take a while to find the right fit. It’s like any other relationship. You need a rapport with the person. I hope they get it right the first time!
I currently have two therapists! One is doing EMDR for PTSD and the other is using CBT to teach me how to cope with parenting. Both have been very helpful. The parenting therapist knows a ton about autism services and options in my area which has been super helpful.
My EMDR therapist wants to do an intensive session. Four hours of EMDR in one day, yikes. Maybe it’s good idea because sessions have been so inconsistent lately. Because my schedule is fucking insane. Maybe I need to just set aside some half days and power through it.
This made me think of someone describing this particular fortunetelling scam, and I had to really think if I had any relatives whose names started with M (supposedly, the most common first letter of a name in the US). I could only come up with an aunt who lived 2000 mles away, and I hadn’t see her more than four times in my life.
There’s something wrong with my refrigerator, specifically the bottom freezer. For the past few weeks there has been an increasing buildup of frost, which has reached the point where I have to pull hard on the handle to get it to open; the inner tray slide is stuck and has to be pushed back of I want to get to the food underneath it.
The last time I started to have this problem, it turned out that the drawer hadn’t fully closed. However, I’ve tried pushing it hard into place, and checked that the gasket doesn’t have any gaps in it. The only thing I can think to do is completely empty it and try to figure out what else might be blocking it; fortunately I have an upright freezer, but it’s pretty full and I’m not sure if there’s enough room for everything there. I really don’t want to have to call a repairman and pay $$$ to find out there’s an obvious solution I’ve overlooked.
How did you check?
I found out that my door flap for my ice maker wasn’t sealing by shining a flashlight on the other side, and I could see light leaking. I replaced the flap (cost $13 for a new one) and right as rain.
For a whole door that might be harder, but maybe a small electric lantern can fit inside then close the freezer after turning off the kitchen lights and see if any light peeks out. Unless you already tried something similar.
I understand that at a deep level! My first child escaped RSV, but she had chronic respiratory infections and I spent many sleepless nights rocking her in a bathroom with a hot shower for steam. She’s in her 30’s now and she lives over a thousand miles away, but I still get a feeling of dread any time I hear her cough when she’s on the phone.
My hearing is generally pretty good, but it turns out that I am deaf in one ear to the specific frequency of a cricket chirp. I recall one night when a cricket in the house was keeping me awake, but since I could only hear it with one ear I had the devil of a time trying to locate it so I could dispatch it. I eventually realized that all I had to do was sleep on the side with my good ear to the pillow. So I have that going for me.
My mini-rant is that I am out of town this week, and my wife texted about possible problem with her car battery. I told her that the since the battery was five years old it might be the problem. I can look at it next week, but she pressed on about my opinion on what to do. Look, I’m 700 miles away, there’s only so much I can do from here. Take it to the mechanic or wait until I return.
With the refrigerator door open I can see the top part of the drawer seal, and I can’t detect any gaps there. Unfortunately, it’s harder to check the sides of the drawer seal.
I do have an electric lantern that I might be able to put inside the freezer after I empty it and check for any light leaks.If there is, then I can check into buying a replacement seal which I might be able to install myself.
I left work early today because I’m so scattered and when I left my house to go get my kid I realized I was wearing gym pants with my best floral blouse.
I think… There’s like an 80% chance I went to work today dressed like this.
Then I lost my phone, and thank God my smart watch has a Find Your Phone feature. I could hear it ringing but it took me like ten minutes to find it. It sounded like it was coming from inside my jewelry cabinet, so I’m tearing that thing apart trying to find it. I eventually found it in my bedroom closet on a top shelf on top of a stack of puzzles. You know, just where anyone keeps their phone.
Stick a fork in this day, it’s done.
ETA: My favorite ADHD story is when a woman went to her doctor and said, “I think I might have ADHD.” The doctor looked at her chart and said, “I diagnosed you last year and prescribed you medication, how’s that going?” 
My older daughter was finally, finally diagnosed with ADHD, and she had trouble getting her prescription, finally managing to get it mail-order and pick it up at the post office, since it requires a signature. She said, “I managed to jump through all the hoops in order to get the medicine that makes me able to jump through hoops!”
Please tell me your were doing something in that particular closet earlier, while also in possession of your phone …
Otherwise, that’d be really weird!
Saw my surgeon yesterday for my 2-week post surgery check-in, and got a total smackdown. I’m being too aggressive with PT. 4 more weeks in the brace at total extension before I can add flexion. Full 6-8 month recovery. No skiing this winter. No driving for 4 more weeks, although I may not abide by that. (I have PT 3 times a week).
Made an agreement yesterday morning to sell our Honda to a friend when our EV comes in–promised not to wreck it. Roads were solid ice and my wife was driving and we got t-boned by a jeep. I’m not superstitious, but that’s a little on the nose.