It kind of sounds like symptoms of depression. Sometimes, especially in men, depression can look like anger. In my own marriage, we’ve been able to come out of cycles like that when one of us approaches the other with compassion at a time when no one has just been mean or snappish. Something like, “Hey, I know we’ve both been under a lot of stress lately. I’ve been trying to find ways to deal with what I’m feeling, and if there’s any way I can help you, please let me know.” It’s been a long time, but I remember that the toddler and preschool years were sometimes really rough on us individually and on the marriage.
My mini-rant, and it is mini, is about smells. I’m really hypersensitive to scents, and when my daughter’s friends come over, one of them always seems to be wearing an abundance of perfume. We also have a contractor who smokes, and while he doesn’t do that in our house, he leaves a stench of stale smoke behind him. Now that the weather’s turning cooler, I won’t be able to leave all the windows open at night to air out the house. I wish I could just turn down my sense of smell!
At the house I owned before moving in with my gf, I went through a “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” period.
I challenged myself to see how low I could bring my gas bill. I turned my thermostat down to 50 and began sleeping in a mummy bag. Man, that was stupid of me, but I completed the month of December before turning the thermostat up.
The hardest part was waking up and getting out of the sleeping bag (which was actually comfortable).
Thanks. I did sort of try this last night. He had some issues with me as well. It turns out one of the issues is we’re both frustrated with the others’ lack of presence at mealtimes. So we are working on both putting the phones away and doing that time together as a family.
This is very possible. We are both in the same boat in that the demands of our son’s medical schedule is infringing on our work time, so we are both simultaneously falling behind at work, and at the end of the day just want to retreat inward. It makes sense that this would be stressful and lead to depression. I did talk to him about his negativity making me not want to engage, and he said he will work on it. I think this is more like the start of an ongoing conversation because we really don’t have the bandwidth or time to sit down and work it all out at once. But it is a promising start.
Yeah. Easy to find yourself behaving as roommates, not spouses. For introverts, the more stress you’re under the more you retreat into yourself. If you both do that, it’ll probably be to an unequal degree, but the consequence is the same: a large emotional chasm between you. One that only conscious ongoing deliberate effort can close up. I almost said “bridge”, but you don’t want a bridge over a chasm; you want to close up the chasm so it’s (mostly) not there.
That makes sense. I’m very introverted and my husband is somewhere in the middle, but we are very isolated. Another thing we have to figure out is how to find a community. I had suggested a Unitarian church, he was not enthused, but it’s something we will be in ongoing discussions about.
My gf continues her work as executrix to her aunt’s estate (along with the lawyer she hired). Yesterday she asked me if there was a FedEx envelope in the mailbox. No, there wasn’t. I checked the garage man-door, but no envelope there (UPS puts packages there). Then I checked the front porch, a bit of a walk, and yes it was there, tossed into a corner.
Why was she so concerned about the FedEx envelope? It contained a check from an annuity for $328,000.00. Not sure why they chose a FedEx envelope that required no signature (my gf was working from home. They didn’t even knock.)
Probably to save the $7 extra that FedEx charges for a signature.
It used to cost $40 an hour to park right outside of my office when I last worked in Seattle, if there was an event going on. (Luckily I didn’t have to pay, my agency made sure I had a pass.)
To me $25 is bad but far from the worst I see around here.
I always felt smug as I biked past coworkers walking in from our (very remote) parking, while I got to ride right up to the bike racks, ten feet from the doors.
But in Seattle? I’d be out of breath and walking my bike up those steep hills.
It was under the lowest drawer in the cabinet, along with a heat-resistant plastic spoon and an extremely dusty Spatty Daddy. How the heck it tumbled past two drawers to reach this little compartment is beyond my sinus-addled mind at this point.
That & standing there butt nekkid waiting for the shower water to warm up enough to get in
…but you only get up once.
My camera filters are currently MIA as they are not where they should be or any or the other places they might be that I’ve looked so far. I really wanted to shoot tonight as it was the last night for at least a year but couldn’t w/o them.
I HAVE FOUND THE SPATULA!!! 
