Gosh yes. Between you and wife that’s a lot of driving you’re not having to do. There’s a reason rural folks, regardless of SES, have much worse medical outcomes. Just getting to care, much less getting care, is simply too damned difficult.
All the years I was taking my late first wife to the clinic 1 or 4 times per week I was sure glad it was just 15 minutes.
Good to hear things seem to be moving in the right, albeit uncomfortable, direction.
For sure, especially when a lot of this care requires the spouse to drive also (and maybe arrange dog care, etc.). It can definitely lead to bad decisions–I had basal cell carcinoma under my eye about 10 years ago that required Mohs surgery, which was only available in Grand Junction, an almost 3 hour drive in good weather. Mohs is supposed to be not that bad, and my wife needed to go to work, so I went solo. Well, they had to go in 4 times over the course of 5 or 6 hours, so my left eye was pretty traumatized by the time I drove myself home in the dark. I should have gotten a hotel room, but I really wanted to be home (injured animal seeking its den!). Horrible drive, and I endangered myself and others.
IMO living rural is a very expensive way to live cheaply.
It’s certainly fine as a cultural preference or as, like @enipla, a choice of beautiful surroundings. But somebody doing it for money reasons is probably fooling themselves if they really did a full accounting.
@enipla and I chose/choose to live rurally in 2 of the most expensive counties in the US, so we had that going for us. If we hadn’t moved to Telluride in '93 and immediately built a house, we would have had to move long before we did.
Yeah. Telluride is certainly beautiful. And real attractive.
FTR: I knew you were comfy, not doin’ the single-wide in the boonies to make ends meet. But there are a lot more of those folks than there are folks like yourself. Which others are the folks I was talking about.
Yeah, I live rural outside of resort a community. Recently took a vacation to Hawaii. There was no sticker shock.
I much prefer the mountain rural life. Played two games of chess on the deck yesterday. In that entire time we saw one car go down our ‘road’. They where either lost or looking at vacant land.
I bought in '92. I could barely afford it, but I moved for my dream job. Same house, same job. Both have changed a lot of course. And now I can work from home. Starlink fixed that.
Guessing Telluride is more expensive than Breckenridge. Aspen is probably the worst.
The West is weird–is it Fremont county across the pass from you? Probably one of the poorest mountain counties. Lots of dichotomies like that–Telluride and Egnar are in the same county, but different countries.
I’m on Hoosier pass. About a 1/4 mile from the top of it. Summit County to the north, Park County in the south.
Also a dichotomy between Summit County and Park County. Summit is much more liberal than Park.
VERY, VERY different base economies. But the politics are coming together a little. A very little.
Tride, you are in district 3 - Lauren Boebart. You have my sympathies.
Not anymore–we’re in Bozeman now, so we’ve got Rosendale. Big whoop!
You’re not kidding! My gf’s horses get veterinary care every 6 months, plus the odd colic emergency call. They get their hooves trimmed and shoes reset every 6-8 weeks by a farrier with a college degree and an assistant. Then there’s their hay and pellets.
Our hens get lifelong care. Our “free” eggs are delicious, but they’re probably costing us $10 a dozen.
Yeah. I’m on my second plow truck and second tractor/loader. Self sufficiency can be expensive. When I had my hip replaced, I hired a guy to plow. I had to pull his stuck ass out 4 times 
Plow guy did not inquire about renewing the contract 
When I woke up it was 60°…inside.
.
.
It made it’s way all the way up to 62° due to the sun & temps outside before I cried, “Uncle” while wearing a l/s t-shirt, hoodie, & a fleece jacket. Heater is now on the rest of the year; 9 days early. 
Moping into the void. They say exercise will give you energy, so I’ve been exercising, but I’m still tired.
My marriage is changing and I don’t understand why, and also it might be all in my head, but why is it in my head at all? Nothing’s changed. Why do I feel differently?
My new boss is being, eh, bossy, and I may have to return to office three days a week, which would not be an issue if my life weren’t being wholly and completely devoured by the needs of my son.
My life is being wholly and completely devoured by the needs of my son.
It’s Autumn, a beautiful season full of bad memories. I’m doing my best.
We’ve had weird weather for several months now. It was a relatively mild summer (for the South) with a lot of rain in July. Then it was in the 90s for almost all of September and has been in the mid to upper 80s for October, with a few normal days of high 60s and low 40s last week. I turned the heat on for that but am now back to AC. And it hasn’t really rained in almost three months, which is very unusual. I’m hoping the warmer trend will mean a mild winter because the last three years have been brutal. But who knows. Thanks climate change.
I have nothing I can say to make anything you said any better, but you deserve a hug.
Thank you!
Well, SOMEthing has changed. Is it you?
Are you figuring out that you’re missing something you didn’t know you needed?
I dunno. Just throwin’ shit out there.
The fact that you recognize this makes you a 1,000% better mom than so many.
It still sucks, but I hope that 1a.) provides some consolation, and 2b.) gives you some breathing room.
You can “slack off” a bit, and still be a wonderful parent.
But you do hafta look out for yourself, your own mental AND physical health, plus, oh yeah, being a good partner to & with your spouse.
Perhaps. I’m trying to live a more mindful life, and really work on myself and the things needed for good mental health. My husband is living in a more reactive place. He is chronically unhappy, he shoots down a lot of my ideas, and if I bring something up that I found interesting, especially if it’s political, he just rants at me (the choir) and it’s like he doesn’t even care what I have to say about it. I kind of feel invisible.
I feel bad saying those things but I feel like the only time he is ever positive anymore is with our son, and it’s kind of a facade. He’s an exemplary father and my kid clearly favors him over me, so again, feeling invisible.
I should probably talk to him about it, but I’m not sure how to do it without seeming like it’s an attack.
I have to think about it.
One piece of advice I heard in a similar situation is to not frame it as things that he’s doing, but rather frame it as how you feel. Tell him the problems you are having, how you are struggling, and how you feel about it all. Not that he is being hurtful and neglecting you, but that you feel hurt and neglected.
You’re effectively saying the same thing, but by making it about your needs and pain, and not about specifically what he’s doing and not doing, it comes off less like an attack and more of a cry for help, which is what it really is. I assume you’re not trying to strike back, and not trying to start a fight, and not trying to retaliate. You just want things to be better for you and your marriage and your family.
Ah, Christ. I’m sorry.
Is he able to communicate why … ?