Yup, that’s the problem.
Guy in book gets wacked hard in the nuts; wife is all "well, why doesn’t he just face the pain & do this, that and the other … ". Me, I’m all “wacked like that, you can’t do anything - you are lucky to be able to breathe through the agony”.
It was then I realized that every guy reading this book “got it” right away, whereas some women would be scratching their heads.
Valuable lession in this for women, by the way - faced with an attacker, that is.
You and me both. Damn, gaffa, that beats a kick in the nads any day.
Watching the Wacked Out Sports, AFHV or the like, the women in my family can laugh at a few of the groin bashings but I’m never able to do anything more than let out a series of sympathetic “Oooofs!”
Years ago, on one of those “OMG check this out it’s so sick!”-type Web sites normally filled with videos of brutal skateboarding accidents and the like, I saw a Japanese video of some man getting repeatedly kneed and running-kicked in the balls by some woman in a leotard. I mean over and over and over again.
This must be the equivalent of S&M porn for women. All this goes to prove that whatever it is, a fetish for it exists out there.
Oh, FWIW, I was kicked in the balls decades ago in a fight, and still remember the pain. Deep, sharp, intense, and long-lasting, with residual after-shocks of psychological pain hours afterwards. It’s probably as close as you could get to a gut shot without a bullet.
It is interesting how that works. like several here I can’t see a bash to the balls as “funny”; I just know it hurts too much.
Same think happened once I became a dad - I could no longer find humour in any form of funny in which harm comes to young children, even comic harm. It just triggers too much anxiety. Didn’t have that reaction until I became a parent myself.
This, I think, is the worst part of it. You know the pain is coming, that there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. That half-heartbeat stretches out, giving you an infinite amount of time in which to contemplate exactly what you did wrong that resulted in the bowel-clenching pain you’re about to experience.
I invented a description a while ago. It isn’t perfect but almost anyone can understand it. I just say that it is like a severe migraine headache in the crotch.
It’s been a long time (and I’d like to keep it that way), but I seem to recall the room spinning. Sort of like being really drunk and your otoliths stop working. All other stimuli become very muted—“Are you ok?” sounds far away etc.
BTW, great descriptions all. I’m wincing just reading 'em. 
Think of all the pain of childbirth, all compressed into one.
It sounds like it would be comparable to the pain I felt when, three weeks after getting my knee replaced, I fell on it.
Inability to breathe? Check.
Split second of “oh shit”? Check.
Blinding pain that paralyzes you? Check.
Yup, that’s probably the closest I’ll ever get as a woman. At least I hope it is!
When I was a kid I read a book in which one of the characters got kicked in the nuts. The description was quite graphic, and there was no mistaking the amount of pain he was in. In fact, I thought it went way overboard, but have never been kicked with the force he had. I don’t remember the details, but I remember him lying on the ground in a puddle of his own vomit.
I wish I could remember what book it was, but my WAG is Bridge Over the River Kwai.
From the MST3K’ed version of The Eye of Argon:
http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~christi/misc/mst3k-eyeofargon.html
(about halfway through it.)
I think I’m just gonna start wearing a cup, full-time.
Fetchund had an ovarian cyst burst. Given her description of the event, I suspect that it might have come pretty close. I’ll have to show her this thread and check.
I’ve had headaches that made me want to vomit before. I wonder if it’s anything like those last contractions during childbirth. The ones where you get to the top and don’t want to exhale because you know how incredibly bad it’s going to hurt when you do, and you start to actually wonder if it would be possible to never breathe again and not actually finish having the baby just so you don’t have to go through the rest of that…
I didn’t scream during childbirth. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it hurt so bad that I literally couldn’t.
*my judgment may be clouded by the fact that my labor was 52 hours long, 90 minutes of which was the pushing part.
I have described being hit hard in the kidneys as being just like being hit in the balls except that the pain takes longer to go away. So, give your wife a sharp blow to the kidneys and, I believe, her interest will be satisfied.
I’ve heard women describe the intense pain of getting hit in the cervix and what they describe is exactly what I felt during my vasectomy (yes, I got numbed up - but not ever enough. I felt the whole thing and my god did it hurt).
Yep…tell people you got conked on the noggin with a cuckoo clock, and you get no sympathy. I blame cartoons. 
Imagine that your eyeballs are not protected by your skull, but stick out from your head on little stalks. And then somebody steps on them.
I’ve mentioned this before here on the boards; I would describe it as: the worst and most persistent ice-cream headache you could possibly imagine, in your groin, coupled with the sensation of someone trying to pull an opened umbrella out of your arse.