A good friend of mine is in some trouble. Here’s a little bit of background: He no longer lives with his parents, they are pretty much non-existent in his life; he drinks heavily at times; smokes pot; drives while under the influence of either of these substances; does not value his life (he has actually told me that sometimes he wishes that he would kill himself by drinking too much); does not have a home at the moment; and has sex with anyone who is willing, regardless of how well he knows them. By the way, he’s 16.
I don’t know what to do. I try to keep him out of the drinking and smoking, but unfortunately I do not see him often enough to do so. He cannot stay with me because my parents have too many kids to look after now, and could not be able to look after another one, especially him because he is having so many problems. I am scared that he will run out of luck and hurt himself or someone else by his actions. As I said, he does not care about himself; so saying “hey, if you don’t stop, you’re going to kill yourself” doesn’t really work on him. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I can do to help my friend?
South that is very sad. I wonder have you talked to your folks about it? Perhaps they could shelter your friend just for a few weeks until he gets better. I know I would for my kid’s friends.
Another option: Some places have a Halfway House or something similar for teens. I know there’s one in New Orleans but I forget the name of it.
I Googled “halfway house + teenager” and got about 21,000 replies.
My parents know about it. Unfortunately, this is not something that will “get better” in just a few weeks. He needs a home long-term. I don’t know if there are any Halfway Houses around here, but I do not think that he would be willing to live there.
Like you said, your friend is not going to help himself at this point. Do you have other mutual friends? You may be able to get together and let him know that his self-destructive behavior is hurting his friends who care about him.
Also, he’s a minor, so unless he’s been emancipated, his parents still have an obligation to look after his well-being. I’m not going to pretend that I know much about child welfare laws, but it seems that there would be some recourse in which his parents could check him into rehab. They may need to be coerced into taking action by the State, but if things are as bad as you say, then anything is worth a try, even if it seems extreme.