Help for a (potential) Jewish Convert

Inspired by the thread, “There Should Be An Ask A Jewish Person Thread”

I was raised in a non-religious household. My mother always held the belief that a person should chose freely their relationship with God. However, since I was 16, I’ve contemplated converting to Judaism. It occurs to me that this thread may be the place to address some of the roadblocks I’ve set up in actually going through with it, so here we go. I appreciate any input.

First. I’ve studied the Holocaust at great length. I contemplating doing graduate work in the subject and much of my undergraduate degree was devoted to the subject. When I was 19, I visited a concentration camp, and had what I consider my first and only “spiritual” experience. This is my MAJOR roadblock in converting. I question co-opting the faith when I have no way of understanding the persecution and history of the Jewish people. I worry about this quite a lot.

Second. I have an ambiguous relationship with Israel. This sounds trite, but what I mean is that I question some of the actions of Israel towards the Palestinians. I admit I am woefully undereducated in this arena, and I have tried to understand the situation. When I researched synagogues in my area, they all seemed to have a vehement pro-Israel stance. This might sound stupid, but can someone be Jewish and still question the politics of the current Israeli government?

Third. What if I don’t understand what God means? I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’ve never had a religious upbringing. All that I know has been learned through Biblical Hebrew and Biblical Studies in University. I still don’t know how I feel about the idea of a creator when I contemplate the misery I see in the world. Nonetheless, when I am troubled or confused, I find my mind turning toward an omnipotent being. I have prayed, but I don’t really know WHO I am praying to? I hope this isn’t too obscure.

My major roadblock is co-opting the faith of an established people. I appreciate any input.

I am not Jewish, and I am agnostic, but…

I think so.

I am sure there are many Jewish people who also question the politics of the current Israeli government.

Then learning, thinking and praying, and investigating conversion might help you understand what God means. It’s a journey.

I don’t think a sincere exploration of Judaism would be co-opting a faith. It may be a discovery of faith for you.

From what I understand, which is little, it’s not easy to convert, and so you would be addressing all these issues as you go further ahead.

Good luck with it. I admire sincere and thoughtful faith. If I were you, I’d talk to a rabbi about your questions. Forgive me if this is something you’ve already done. ;j

I meant to also add something along the lines of maybe you will never know what God means, and that might be okay, and part of the magnificent mystery of it all.

Being a lifelong Gentile Christian, I’m totally qualified to suggest some stuff :smiley:

First, converting to Judaism is a really serious thing that Judaism doesn’t really encourage (mainly so they couldn’t be charged with trying to steal Christians back in the Middle Ages). Most rabbis would more recommend you finding your spirituality & relationship with God in an acceptable Gentile path, which brings us to…

The Noachide (Noahide) Laws- Rabbis in the Talmud have noted that while the special Covenants are with the Jews throught Abraham & the Mosaic Law, God has a basic common law for all humanity- Do not commit Idolatry, Blasphemy, Theft, Illicit Sex (variously defined), Murder, or Cruelty to Animals/Eating of Blood, and Do Establish Courts of Justice/Government to keep social order. Google up “Noachide Laws” and also +“Dennis Prager”+“Ethical Monotheism” for some good intros.

Third- get a Bible, or maybe just a book of Bible stories. You might want a purely Jewish translation- the most commonly available one is the JPS one. IF you want a real immersion ( :smiley: ), there has recently been published “The Jewish Study Bible”, available from Oxford, and it’s even available at good C’tian Bookstores.

Fourth, it is indeed possible to be a good Jew & question some of the Israeli Gov’t policies toward the Palestinians. Being a good religious person always entails questioning how we treat the Others. I am a very ardent C’tian Zionist, who recognizes that the Palestinians have legitimate complaints, BUT that they also have passed up multiple opportunities to work out a settlement. Hopefully, with Arafat out of the way, we may see a Palestinian state emerge (tho the recent Gaza election results favoring Hamas does bother me).

Who are you praying to? Genesis 1 tells us “At the Start, Elohim created the Heavens and the Earth”. “Elohim” literally means “Mighty Ones” (plural noun combined with singular verb- So an literal English translation may read “Gods-He created…”) Atheists & Theists all start at the same place with the Origin of Everything- Energy. The dispute is whether or not that Eternal Energy is Conscious & Purposeful. Religion calls us to trust that such Eternal Energy is Conscious, Purposeful, and actually cares about us. But Eternal Personal Energy is still a bit too remote for us to trust, so He gives us another Name by which to know Him- YHWH (I Am Living-Becoming) or Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh (I Am-I Will Be whatever I Am-I Will Be). God is All-Energy, All-Living, All-Personal, All-Meaning.
While human evil & natural disaster seems to deny the existence of a caring God,
the lives damaged by that evil & disaster are only fully meaningful by the presence of a caring God.

And I will say- that as a sign of that God in history- is the fact that despite numerous focused attempts to destroy the Jews, they have survived & thrived. Why have they been so targeted for destruction? Because they are evidence of God to a world which hates that God. Why have they survived & thrived? Again, because they are evidence of God.

Btw, I’d be remiss is I didn’t hint at the Jew who I hold to be the fullest evidence of God, but I don’t have to talk about him now :smiley:

Thank you so much for this thread. I have been intrigued by Judaism ever since I was 11. I’m 24, and I’ve been thinking about converting for a long time. I’ve heard all of the naysaying; about how difficult it is to convert, etc., and so I am approaching the whole thing with much caution, solemnity, and intensely serious thought.
I’ve spent and continue to spend hours poring over the pages at religioustolerance.org about Judaism and Jewish theology and thought.
I want to do the right thing; I want to be respectful and appropriate. I have a lot of fear and concern. And yet, I am drawn to Judaism by my gut, and my fear does nothing to extinguish my feelings on the matter. I am giving myself a lot of time before I make a serious commitment; I figure if I can convert when I’m 24, I can convert when I’m 44, and it will have no less meaning.

Sorry if I am coming off as being wankish, but your post echoed so many of my own feelings; my abivalence about Israel and my concern about being an “outsider” among other Jews when my cultural experience and background are so different from theirs.

I just feel like this is the moment to bare my soul. I hope I’m doing the right thing.

Conversion to Judaism is not an easy process (and it’s not supposed to be, for a number of reasons). However, with the proper guidance and with the proper enthusaism/dedication, it can be done.

First of all, you need to find a Rabbi and a Jewish congregation with which to affiliate. The Rabbi must agree to help you with your investigation into Judaism; the congregation is to get you involved with the religion and its people. It makes no sense to wait until conversion before becoming involved and active; you need to become active and involved beforehand so you know what you’re getting into. Judaism is not simply ethics and commandments: it’s also about the People.

Key to the above, which precedes the above, of course, is which denomination you choose. Conversion under an Orthodox Rabbi will be different than under a Conservative or Reform Rabbi; furthermore, you must consider the issue of others accepting your conversion seriously: some groups will not recognize a conversion under non-Orthodox authorities.

However, I should mention: I once emailed a Jewish Doper here and amongst the things he said was that Jews really aren’t going to accost a convert every time and demand his/her conversion credentials. If you say you’re a Jew, they’ll take your word for it. At some points, proof of conversion may be asked, but unless it’s a big issue (marriage, Israeli citizenship).

For many, being observant is more about orthopraxy than orthodoxy: what you do means more than what you believe. Keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath, praying, observing the holy days, attending synagogue, charity - these (depending on which denomination you choose, some of these may not apply) will matter, and these are a part of Judaism. Even though every person in a congregation may keep kosher, each person may have a different understanding about G-d. Judaism is not Gnostic in that knowledge of G-d will save oneself. Obedience (to the Noachide Law if one is a Gentile, or to the Torah/mesorah if one is a Jew) saves.

What almost every Rabbi will require is the acceptance of mesorah or tradition. Of course, each denomination defines what falls within mesorah differently. But this is a crucial element. Judaism is Tradition. After all, the Oral Torah is Tradition; observance is part of Tradition.

Israel - ah, Israel. The modern State of Israel is and is not a major part in modern Judaism. On the one hand, Jews all over the world are attached to and attracted to and interested in Israel, because it is the Holy Land or because it is the Jewish country - no other country is for and by Jews. It’s home. On the other hand, like Americans, Israelis need not agree with their government’s actions. (As a matter of fact, many Israelis are very vocal about their opposition to the government’s policies.) The same applies, if not more so, to Jews. Jews have a connection with the land, not with the land’s government. The land was just as precious under pagan and Muslim government. The State is not a theocracy. However, what you will need to appreciate, as a Jew, is that Israel is a special place. How it is special, what meaning it has, how it plays a role in your life - this is for you to decide.

If you become a Jew, Judaism’s past becomes your past. Judaism’s people becomes your people. Its good times, its horrible time, its joys, its sorrows - these all you will have to share and cherish.

Choosing Judaism is choosing its Tradition, choosing its People.

Let me add a personal comment: Even though I do not look anything like a Jew, I have never ever felt like an outsider among Jews. Jews have treated me with great respect and friendliness. Rabbis have treated me very well. Jews have treated me very well. If I do convert, I know there will be those who will find me an impossibility (after all, I come from a Muslim background), but by and large I will be welcomed. Every convert is welcomed; every Jew is cherished.

WRS - who has strongly considered (and sometimes still strongly considers) conversion to Judaism

If you are interested in Reform, your best start would be to go to a synagogue and take an Intro to Judaism class. All people who want to convert must take this class but not everyone in the class is necessarily going to convert. It’s a year long class because there is a lot to learn. After the class is over, you can take the conversion class, or not, or wait a while and take it later.

There will not be one moment in the course of your learning that anyone will put any pressure on you to do anything.

Don’t worry about the Israel thing. Lots of American Jews have major problems with Israeli politics.

You’re going to have to wait a day for the Orthodox Jews to weigh in.

Haj

But of course.

One of my more pragmatic concerns is that there is one mitzvot that I must break if I convert - I have tattoos. I could and would change my diet, faithfully observe Shabbat, etc., but my tattoos aren’t something I can just stop having. Is there a way I could atone? Would I need to atone, since they would be something from my pre-conversion life?

Having a tattoo on your body isn’t a sin. It’s the act of getting the tattoo that is. It wouldn’t be an issue any more than if you ate a ham sandwich four years ago this Thursday. As I understand it, anyway.

I figured as much, and since all of the mitzvot carry equal weight, your logic is sound.

This is correct. Just don’t get more tattoos. There was a guy in my wife’s conversion class that was in a Chicano gang in his youth and had tons of tattoos.

Also, there are plenty of not very religious Jews who have tattoos despite the prohibition.

Finally, piercings of any kind are also considered body desicration but you’ll still see all kinds of fancy earrings on woman who are dressed up for High Holidays at a Reform temple.

Haj

Plus, lola, I don’t think Reform is terribly concerned with tattoos. I’m an unobservant Jew, but I’ll give you my opinion on your questions:

  1. I don’t feel as if you’d be co-opting my faith.

  2. Truthfully, I think there are two separate things to be considered here. First, I think it’s entirely appropriate to criticize Israel’s government. I myself think it sucks. But second, I feel very strongly (as do most, if not all, Jews that I know) that that doesn’t invalidate the need of Israel to exist.

  3. That’s the kind of thing you get instruction for before converting.

This is very comforting thing to hear, especially from someone I respect and admire as much as you.

That clarifies things for me nicely. I am certainly critical of Israel from time to time, but I’ve never questioned its right to exist, and I don’t see myself ever leaning in that direction. Having read Irshad Manji’s writings on the subject, I admire Israel’s rigorous self-scrutiny. I think sometimes Haaretz is harder on Israel than a lot of Western publications!

Did you mean the cultural background thingy? I know that if I decided to convert, I would joyfully live by the laws that Jews observe, but I’m afraid that I would miss out by not having Jewish family members, that kind of thing. I’m also afraid that other people would treat me differently because I was a convert. I’ve done so much reading on the more technical things, but almost none on the social aspect.

I was thinking about this at length again today. It occurred to me that what I keep asking myself isn’t “Do I want Judaism?”, (to which the answer is a thousand times yes), but “Why do I want Judaism?” and “Does Judaism want me?”.

If my experience means anything, there is no pat answer to “Why do I want Judaism?”.

Of course, according to some Lubavitcher Chassidic Jews (I’m not sure if this applies to other groups of Jews), goyyim drawn to Judaism have a nefesh Yehudi - a Jewish soul - that’s trapped in a goy body.

As far as whether Judaism wants you, there are two answers (from my perspective):

  1. No. Judaism doesn’t actively want people. Judaism does not seek converts (unlike other religious movements). Whether you convert or don’t convert - it doesn’t affect Judaism.

  2. Of course! Jews love people who find purpose and fulfillment in Judaism, who sacrifice so much for the Jewish faith and people. The Covenant is for anyone and everyone who is willing to adhere to its conditions. Becoming a Jew is joining God’s People, with all the responsibilities and wonderful elements that go with it!

WRS

If anything you would be treated with more respect. Most of us are Jews by birth. A convert is a Jew by choice. Converts are just as Jewish as someone born into the faith if not more so. Anyone who would dare treat you differently is an ignorant bigot.

You will not be encouraged, let along coerced, into converting. If you should decide to do so, you will be welcomed with open arms.

The only way to find out is to take the Intro class and get to know some people in a congregation. There will be some people in the congregation who specialize in outreach. You probably won’t have any questions that they haven’t already heard.

Haj

To back up what hajario said, in areas where there is a large Jewish population, there are often a number of Rabbis who are experienced in conversion. They are usually well-known and highly-regarded: conversion under them means people will be less wont to doubt the thoroughness of your conversion.

Every religion admires converts, because they studied and chose the religion that they were raised with and did not actively choose.

WRS

For people afraid that they will not be thought of as Jews if they convert, you shouldn’t worry: it’s taboo to suggest any such thing. Read the Book of Ruth to see how well-respected converts are.

On a personal note, I am not a convert, nor am I halachically Jewish, but I do consider myself a Jew. My dad is Jewish but my mom isn’t. My parents are atheists and I was raised without any religion. It wasn’t til college that I began to learn (more; it wasn’t like I was totally ignorant of my own cultural heritage) about my background.

As it happens, I much more closely resemble my (mostly Irish-descended) mom than I do my (obviously of Middle Eastern descent) dad. I’d like to say that this doesn’t matter, but…it does. People do look at me with askance when I tell them I’m Jewish. I think some stuff would be easier if I had olive skin and dark hair and eyes like my dad. I once had a boss (an Israeli!) refuse to give me Yom Kippur off because he wouldn’t believe I was Jewish. Yes, he gave in upon my insistance, but I doubt it would have happened if I didn’t look like a shiksa.

I’ve given some thought to converting officially within the Conservative movement. I used to teach Hebrew School in a Conservative shul and the rabbi told me I could convert without any classes or anything, but for various reasons I didn’t do it and now I live in another part of the country and don’t have that sort of relationship with a rabbi here. I’m not sure I’m ready to take on the mitzvot right now anyway. So I’m content in the Reform movement for the moment.

As you probably know, but others might not, the Reform movement considers one to be Jewish if either parent is Jewish. Other sects say it must be the mother.

Haj

/nitpick

According to what a (Reform) rabbi told me, the Reform consider you Jewish only if one of your parents is Jewish AND you are being raised in the faith.

So if, say, Dad’s Jewish but never goes to temple and Mom’s Baptist and takes you to her church every Sunday, it’s a no go.

As others have told you, converting to Judaism is not an easy process. You will need to show a valid reason why you want to convert as well as a commitment to your conversion.

Judaism would be just as vibrant a religion had the Holocaust never occured. Being Jewish really has very little to do with the Holocaust, and as such, your feelings about not understanding the persecution of the Jewish people throughout history really shouldn’t have a bearing on your potential conversion one way or the other. No one becomes Jewish because s/he wants to be persecuted.

It is certainly legitimate to question the practices of the State of Israel. One should not think that any Jews (let alone all Jews) walk in lock-step with the state. You’ll find within Judaism all strains from the completely supportive of the State to the completely non-supportive.

Many synagouges (especially in the Conservative and Reform movement) tend to have a pro-Israel stance, but that alone should not be a bar to your conversion either.

It’s not too obscure at all. God is the Creator of the Universe. He brought all things into being.

Being a Being so much more powerful than us and being completely beyond our ken, we don’t always understand everything He does. I couldn’t tell you why He sends tsunamis, or causes sickness in children. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

One of the main points of Judaism is that there is purpose in the Universe and that everyone and everything in the universe has a purpose, even if it’s not apparent to us. I may not understand why a person suffers a reversal of fortune, but there is a reason. There is a Being who balances His books and works the world according to His plan.

I should add a few more points to this discussion:

Any conversion carried out under non-Orthodox authorities will not be recognized by Orthodox Jews. In practical terms, if you convert under Reform authorites and later choose to live in an Orthodox community, you will require another conversion. Likewise, your children would not be considered Jewish by the Orthodox community as well, and should they choose to marry Orthodox Jews, this could lead to problems.

Converting under Orthodox authorities will require kabbalas ol mitzvos (accepting the commandments). This means keeping kosher, keeping the Sabbath and the holidays, etc. There is a lot to take in (it’s a MAJOR lifestyle change) and as such, requires a great deal of learning to accomplish.

Lastly, I’m assuming (based on your username) that you are a female. If you are already married, you will not be able to marry a kohen. If you are married, your conversion will not “cover” your husband or any existing children you already have (no matter how young). They would need separate conversions.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in this thread or email me.

Zev Steinhardt