So my wife and I got married pretty quickly I come from a Jewish Israeli family who is not %100 on board with my new marriage. My wife wants to convert to Judaism because we want to have a real Jewish wedding under the chuppah with my friends and family. We also want to have and raise Jewish children. Having a Jewish wife is very important to my family. My question is, should we tell people that we are married? How long will the process take for orthodox conversion? Is the fact that were married going to work for us, or against us? What’s the fastest way to do an orthodox conversion?
She wants to convert so you can have a real Jewish wedding, and you(from a Jewish Israeli family) want to know the fastest way to do an orthodox conversion?
- That is no reason to convert.
- Why are you asking us instead of your rabbi?
This is not an authoratative answer, but I don’t know of any reason that your existing marital status matters if your wife is sincere in her desire to convert. I think it would be considered a blessing.
My Conservative wife and I were married by a JP before I converted and we had a Jewish wedding later.
I have a feeling that you will have a really hard time finding an orthodox rabbi who will consider this a sufficient reason to allow the conversion.
So it doesn’t matter if she’s an angel or a hellhound bitch just as long as she’s Jewish? Hell of a basis for a marriage and good relations with the in-laws.
Is the OP really saying that that Jewish marriage is the only reason for conversion?
Conversion isn’t an instantaneous process. Even under Reform rules it usually takes a year. I have assume Orthodox conversion takes longer. First you have to find a rabbi to sign on, then there’s considerable study. Women have to mikvah which can involve travel depending on where you are.
Given that it could be years before your wife’s conversion is complete and you 2nd wedding happens…presumably in that time you’ll be at innumerable social functions, it would be tremendously odd not to tell other people you are married in the eyes if civil authorities.
Then they should marry one.
Look, you went ahead and fell in love and married a shiksa. Suddenly it’s all become so very important to you?
Seems to me, this isn’t about what you want but what your family expects. Perhaps it would be easier to convert them to accepting your wife the way she is rather than having her convert to make everyone else happy. Unless being jewish is something she wants to do for herself. In which case, see a rabbi. You know what? See a rabbi anyway. You may be surprised by the advice you get.
There is no way to do a fast orthodox conversion, just doesn’t work like that. If I may ask are you living in Israel or the diaspora. I am a convert myself.
Also this. Converts without a sincere belief and desire for Jewish learning are normally rejected, and not in the traditional “reject them and see if they come back” way.
That and “we also want to have and raise Jewish children.” are the reasons I see in the OP. Neither would be a sufficient reason to allow a conversion, in any orthodox rabbi’s eyes, AFAIK.
Would the OP mind telling us how he, a person raised in an orthodox Jewish Israeli family, doesn’t know the legitimate reasons for Jewish conversion, or the fact that there is no short-form for orthodox Jewish conversion?
I think there are some that would allow it, but that’s off the point. If those are the only reasons for conversion they won’t have an easy time of it.
Good question. But not all Orthodox Jews are ultra-orthodox, practicing at all, or necessarily have the religious education you’d expect.
Or it could be… well you know.
I am surprised.
Maybe, maybe not - my mother made an attempt to convert to Orthodox Judaism after marrying dad but it didn’t take. I don’t know all the details but I suspect part of it was to appease the family.
They never did accept her, or us. I have relatives who still pretend we’re all dead, largely the ones who sat shiva after the wedding. I have a cousin who protested our presence at my grandmother’s wedding (to the rabbi’s credit, he did say “Shut up and sit down, or leave.” He was OK with us being there).
I’d like to think things have change over the past 60-70 years but the fact is no, some people aren’t going to accept the shiksa.
Yeah, but you just converted for the jokes!
Shalom bayit. 
I agree. Which is why I suggested that the appeasement route is not necessarily going to work. Conversion is a lot to expect of anyone just to try to please some family member(s) who simply will never be accepting anyway.
Is there money involved? Like an inheritance for your “to be born” offspring?