My friend has arranged for a cleric to officiate at her wedding on November 26, but she asked me, as a back up, to investigate whether I could be ordained by one of those mail-order churches in case the legitimate religious dude she has hired can’t come for some reason.
(Yeah, she’s a Bridezilla …)
Can anyone give me their opinions on which pseudo-church to use? I’d also accept a pseudo-synagogue or pseudo-mosque, if these religions are playing this game, too. (Hey, I’m an equal-opportunity sham!)
I’m especially interested in outfits that can can do the trick for me by November 26, with minimal cost.
Check the laws of your state. Go to the office of wedding registry and ask, they will tell you what is and isn’t acceptable.
e.g. In Colorado you can marry yourself. No need to have a preacher or ??? officiate. You can pick up the form, fill it out and BAM! til death do you part…So you can have vows, a ceremony, even uncle louie officiate, but in the end you just sign the form and have it witnessed (in fact, I don’t think witnesses are needed if the people are over 18). I was part of a wedding like this where we toasted the vows over sashimi and sake at our favorite sushi bar. And my wife and I were going to do this before our ‘real’ wedding just cuz she was a foreigner and we didn’t want any hassles.
You can also try the Spiritual Humanism church. That’s where my friend got ordained to do my wedding. NYC has something against the Universal Life Church, some old lawsuit or some such, and does not generally recognize them as valid ministers.
Can’t help with how to get “minister-ized”, but once you do, rent the movie “Little Murders” (70’s with Elliot Gould), and skip to the wedding scene by Donald Sutherland. Classic non-secular ceremony.
Starts out: “Of the 400 (some) weddings I have performed, all but 3…have failed…But that’s all right.” Memorize the whole ceremony, and you’re all set !
As for the duds, there are a lot of religious supply shops that sell online. You don’t need any kind of certification to buy from them, but the robes and such can get expensive. The outfits I’ve used have cost between $200 and $350, but then I use them every week. If this is just a one-time thing for you, you might want to think about either borrowing from an ordained minister acquaintance, or maybe going to a costume rental shop and seeing if they have anything left over from Halloween.