All your problems can be solved by reading this support document from Microsoft. Who would have thought that Bill Gates and his minions used such language?
That is beautiful.
That is the funniest thing…thanks for posting it!!!
Actually, that page isn’t on Microsoft’s site. It just looks like it is.
RealityChuck has let the cat out of the bag :p, the URL is actually a redirect and the document isn’t really part of the MS knowledge base. But it’s still funny! (IMHO)
Try making a comment in the left hand side of the page. 
Heehee… that’s pretty good.
Though, having had access to the full Microsoft KnowledgeBase when I worked for an outsource partner, I can say with certainty that there are articles like this in there that aren’t available for public viewing. There’s a whole section of the KB that’s for articles in progress, and lots of “joke” stuff gets dumped in there.
My favorite was one titled “How the VisualStudio 6 Installer Crushes Your Will To Live”.