help! I've got a co-worker BO problem!!!

In My Humble Opinion
21

Firstly, EWWW! Now that I’ve gotten that out (and having just eaten my breakfast, I shouldn’t have opened this post, I know, so my bad really), I’ll chime in to add that the OP probably should go to HR, but it may not be a hygiene problem. The co-worker may have a physical problem that causes the BO, or it may be the side effect of a medication.

Fortunately, I have not ever had to work with someone who had a BO problem, but having ridden public transit for 25+ years, I’ve had to sit next to some for what seemed like unbearably long periods! When pregnant, certain odors affected me more, especially garlic, and kimchee. I can remember going to a Korean-run cleaners to drop off some clothing and having to leave before I threw up on the counter because the aroma of the kimchee was so overpowering (at least to my pregnant self). To this day, I still find both aromas overwhelming, but at least I don’t feel like I’m going to ralph over them. Lastly, I’ve encountered various unwashed homeless folks on the public buses, some of whom stank so badly that I was forced to open the bus window in the middle of winter! :eek: I understand that they cannot help their situation, but that doesn’t change the fact that their unwashed bodies smell and smell overwhelming bad in many cases. sorry!

22

Another vote for going to HR. It really is their job to deal with this kind of crap. They will shouldn’t have to give out their souces but she may figure that it’s you anyway since you work with her so much. Good luck.

Haj

23

OK. Some background.

First, thanks for all of the replies. This has been one of the worst weeks of work in my life. I’ve had to spend almost every waking moment of my workday with this woman for the past week in a tiny conference room. I may snap over this. She is someone I will have a close working relationship with over the next year, and I just can’t take it.

This is a new job for me, and the company is European. She is European. The other man sitting in the conference room is European (from Germany). That’s why I asked. He seems not to mind at all, whereas my eyes are watering. I almost threw up yesterday and had to leave the room. Coming back was pure torture. I took a deep inhale before entering the conference room, ran to the other side and then exhaled. I spent the rest of the day with my fingers close to my nose, sniffing anything and everything to get away from the stench. She reeks every day, and she reeks morning, noon, and afternoon. She doesn’t appear overly dirty, and her hair seems to be clean. But the underarm odor is unmistakable. I’m getting sick just writing about it.

Here’s the other problem. She is in HR. I am not sure what the protocol is, but I do feel like if I speak out, she will know it was me. I am afraid this will hurt our working relationship. She is overly sensitive and has cried in my presence twice already.

I find it interesting to hear about depression as a possible link. I do not know much about her, but I do know that she lives alone, has no family or friends in the area, and as far as I can tell, no dating prospects. Still, she HAS to smell herself, doesn’t she? I can’t stand my own odor, and if I don’t shower once a day, I know I STINK.

Still, I may have an oversensitive nose. But when I skip lunch because I’m afraid I will throw it up, there has to be a solution. Perhaps next week I will approach an HR VP who may be able to steer me in the right direction without too much noise. I know how people talk, however, and I really am afraid this will be a fatal blow to our working relationship. She is very smart, but she is also very ripe.

By the way, Stink Fish Pot has nothing to do with my scent! :smiley:

Thanks for all of the advice. I’m sure I will have an update next week, as we are scheduled to spend Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday together. On the bright side, we will not be in such a small group, so perhaps I can poll the others to see if I’m the only one who is gagging.

I don’t know. All that I DO know is that I can’t work this way much longer. I’d hate to quit over a stinky co-worker, but that’s where I am.

SFP (thinking of changing my name because of this!)

24

Leave her a wrapped gift of deodarant in a private place where she will not be embarrased when she opens it. Make sure she cannot tell it is from you. She may get the hint.

25

Well, the week is drawing to a close (Thank God). The all day meetings were exactly what I feared. One person, funk-ifying an entire room.

As hard as it is to believe, in a room full of people (around 30), the odor machine continued to produce a potent brew of BO. I did my very best to position myself as far away from her as possible, and for the most part I was successful. But my desire to sit away from her was painfully obvious. She decided to sit next to me on day three, and I immediately packed up all of my belongings and moved to an open seat. I didn’t care. I was not going to subject myself to 10 hours next to the BO machine.

The thing I’m starting to wonder is if I am the only one who notices. People did sit next to her, and I really didn’t see anyone react in any way to her. Perhaps they knew they were not going to be next to her for an indefinite period of time and decided to “suck it up” for a day. I know that people tend not to draw attention to something like this, for fear of embarrassing the offensive party. But another thought crossed my mind. Am I imagining it?

Is this possible? Could my sense of smell be so sensitive that I’m over-reacting? I haven’t noticed anyone else with an odor. Could it be that her particular smell hits me in a way a dog whistle would hit my ears if I were a dog, while a human doesn’t hear a thing?

God, I am miserable. This can’t be happening. She is BO’ing me out of my mind.

26

sorry to hijack, but I noticed people of certain ethnicities gave off particularly strong odors. It wasn’t until very recently that I realized it might have to do what they eat.

Two particularly strong smelling groups are people from India, and Korea. I would imagine the smell is due to something that they eat a lot of (curry?) but what is Kimchee? No offense, but if it leaves you smelling like that, I can’t imagine what the actual food smells like!

…in all fairness, if a Korean told me that I had a “strong, foul odor”, chances are its probably all the garlic I eat.

27

Kimchee (or Kimchi) is pickled cabbage. I was going to say it’s a little like sauerkraut, but there’s no vinegar in it. It’s made from Bok Choy cabbage, salt, hot peppers and other seasonings. It’s mainly hot. I wouldn’t call it stinky.

It’s true that if one eats a lot of Kimchi it will affect the smell of your sweat.

I lived in Korea for a year on two different occasions and I occasionally smelled strong BO, but I wouldn’t say it’s a widespread thing. About equal to Americans overall. IMHO.

28

Stink Fish Pot, i don’t think you’re over-reacting at all. And in my experience, if you can smell it, chances are everybody else can smell it too, they just don’t want to say anything.

Dealing with this kind of thing on a daily basis can become very stressful. And just the anticipation of the smell is probably making it worse for you too.

I agree with the others here, let HR handle this. If you’re at all worried about the outcome, with office politics being what they are, send an anonymous e-mail. A bit of a cop-out some might say but it’s better than living with stress for the next year :wink:

29

Pixelle,

Thank you for your kind words! :slight_smile: I do feel like I’ve lost my mind. Next week, I’ll have the entire week to spend with her. We are at an off-site meeting, so I have no choice. :mad: (or should I say :eek: . I think the next Smilie should be like the one slapping his head… but instead of the headslap, let him hold his nose. )

After we get back, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take this to HR and see where it goes. I can’t believe I’m actually contemplating a trip to HR, but I don’t see any other options.

Is there anyone out there in HR? Perhaps some insight from someone actually in the profession could shed some light on this.

Cheers,
SFP

30

Isn’t there any way you can send an anonymous tip to HR? Send it from a Hotmail account or something? Due to the nature of the complaint, I’m sure they would investigate it. Thoughts?

31

If I was her, I would rather you told me what the problem was, rather than getting up and leaving when I sat beside you. Even if you got to HR, and she finds out you did, I still think that is better than obviously avoiding her. Just MHO.

32

Magayuk,

As much as this person stinks, I’m not going to tell her in front of a room full of people that she reeks and that’s why I’m moving. I admit that my reaction wasn’t the best, but I do not want to humiliate her in public, either. I am not interested in destroying her… I just want her to bathe. Perhaps, as has been mentioned in this thread, it is something uncontrollable… or she is suffering from depression or a disease… I can feel compassion for that, but compassion doesn’t require me to breath the odor oozing from her pores. I also have the right to work in a worker-friendly environment. That includes (to me, anyway) the expectation that you don’t stink to the point of causing me to run to the restroom because I thought I was going to throw up.

Perhaps you are correct in that I should have told her the truth. But I can’t see any positive outcome from the direct approach, as I’ve seen her cry on multiple occasions in the workplace. In my opinion, I handled the situation as best I could at the time. I realize that what I did could be perceived as rude, but isn’t it just as rude to come to work stinking to high heaven and expecting everyone to be happy to spend quality time with you? I’m sorry, but I will continue the avoidance dance until she a) stops stinking, or b) I go to HR and she stops stinking. Either way, I think I have a right to control my breathable air in my workplace as much as I possibly can.

SFP

33

SFP-

I know exactly what you’re going through. I was unfortunate enough to have to deal with two people that stunk to high heaven.

The first individual was supposedly allergic to the ingredients in soap. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t get special soap prescribed for you. She was so bad we knew when Aunt Flo was visiting:eek:

The second individual was a summer hire who wore dirty clothes, had greasy hair, and even her skin looked dirty. I wasn’t in a supervisory position, so we begged our branch chief to talk to her. The branch chief was a male and was too embarrassed to mention it to her. Her stench was so bad it wafted down the hallways and our customers (officers and enlisted in the Army) complained to me on a regular basis. She supposedly was also allergic to ingredients contained in soap (this info courtesy of Stinky #1). HR wouldn’t have done any good, her mother worked there and was just as bad. Consequently, we SUFFERED the entire hot summer. It took TWO straight months to air out the office we assigned her and we had to get rid of her chair.

I slightly hijacked your thread, and I apologize. I don’t know what the answer is. It’s a sensitive issue. Hopefully your VP HR will be able to assist you.

34

Stink Fish Pot-I’m not saying you were wrong at all…I certainly wouldn’t have said “Hey, you stink” in front of a room full of people either. But I would say something to her later. Is it possible she doesn’t know she has BO?

35

I found this article that might help.

36

I’ve been told that people from Asian countries, where consuming dairy products is not common, say that people from European countries smell unpleasant – like cheese.