When the Revolution comes there are secret lists of everyone who is to be to be thrown up against a wall and shot for crimes against the Revolution, Humanity, or Good Taste. I am privy to one of those lists and saw the name of one Rod “The Mod” Stewart.
I don’t believe there is reasonable person who would not agree that “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” is not a one-way ticket to a summary execution, as that level of crapitude is a capital crime in 48 of the 50 states. However, in his defense, I seek evidence that mitigates that most heinous crime, to wit:
With Jeff Beck:
“I Ain’t Superstitious”
Pretty much everything else.
With (The Small) Faces:
“Had Me A Real Good Time”
“Stay With Me”
Solo:
“Every Picture Tells A Story”
“Gasoline Alley”
That handful of songs will not convince commissars on the Secretariat that the death penalty is not appropriate punishment for the abomination that is “Tonight’s the Night,” for which STewart, himself, made the paltry excuse in the pages of National Lampoon that (IIRC), “‘Spread your wings and let me come inside’ was better than ‘Spread your wings and let me come all over your sheets.’” Can you help by suggesting Rod Stewart songs that do not suck foetid donkey dongs?
I love the song “Hot Legs.” And I love “Handbags and Gladrags.” and “Maggie,” and a lot of other RS songs. But that doesn’t mean that anyone else loves them. “Maggie” especially is probably my favorite because it has this Medieval-style acoustic guitar intro that sounds like the background music for a level in King’s Quest or something. (Why does all Medieval music have that Medieval sound to it? It all sounds like Greensleves?) I digress. Rod Stewart is awesome and he should live.
I think he should live because of “Young Turks”. It was a great song for the time in my life that it came out. Picture it- I was in eighth grade, just becoming aware of romantic love and lust and maturing boys and bodies… “Young hearts be free tonight, time is on your side…” Every time I hear it, it really takes me back to 13.
“Maggie May” is a brilliant song. However, Rod does suck quite a bit.
Interesting bit of music trivia: The last song on side 1 of The Police’s debut album, Outlandos d’Amour entitled “Peanuts” was written by Sting about Rod Stewart:
In 1977 Sting thought Rod Stewart was pretty shit. But in 1993, he recorded “All For Love” with Bryan Adams and… Mr. Rod Stewart.
His version of “Downtown Train” is not quite an unmitigated catastrophe. If I hear Maggie May one more time, however, I will humbly beg our new overlords to let me be on the firing squad.
Like SA I wonder if it’s because you’ve heard it too much on the radio. I stopped listening to commercial radio on the regular about 10 years ago, and heard Blur’s cover on their B-sides album… and realized what a great song it was. Hearing Rod’s version confirmed that fact. But I wouldn’t want to hear it every day…
Well, Faces also did “Cindy Incidentally” and “Ooh-La-La”, which I like. OTOH he took Robbie Robertson’s very interesting “Broken Arrow” and turned it into just another POS pop song. On the third hand, “Smiler” got me laid (I don’t understand it, either).
I don’t know. I say let’s let Jeff Beck decide. If Jeff says he can live, that will be good enough for me.
Oh come on, Rod Stewart has done a full career’s worth of good, and sometimes great music. Up until 1976, he produced a string of classic albums. And he hit a few high points later on as well. His cover of People Get Ready with Jeff Beck is fantastic.
Actually rather than save him from the firing squad, we should invent a time machine and go and shoot him about, oh, 1974. Think of what his reputation would be then! No Tonight’s the Night, no disco, no (barf) American Songbook.
I’m not a Stewart fan as such, but like many people I hold the slow side of ‘Atlantic Crossing’ in high esteem (apart from ‘Sailing’). And ‘It’s Not The Spotlight’ is a personal favourite that ends up on almost every ‘slow’ compilation I ever put together. Great song, great arrangement, great delivery.
Let’s also not forget what a brave and interesting creative decision it was, way back then, for someone who had made his name as a pub rock singer to devote one side of an album to slow, romantic songs with largely acoustic / orchestral arrangements. It came as quite a surprise at the time, and it was something of a risk. But it paid off very well for all concerned.
Call off the firing squad. He did some bad dance tracks to make money. Big deal. If that’s going to be made a capital crime, there won’t be enough ammunition in the world. And whatever musical crimes Rod may have committed, let’s retain due respect: this is a man who managed to attract the intimate affections of Rachel Hunter. Achievement enough, methinks, to aim those bullets a different way.
