Go to a wholesale club like BJ’s or Sam’s and stockup on baby stuff in bulk. 300 diapers, 200 gallons of apple juice, 1200 baby wipes. Then explain you need a baby to help use all that stuff up. Otherwise it will have been wasted money.
Motorgirl
Now THAT is a good one!!! hahahahahahahhaha
I can just see it “Well, it only makes sense to have a baby, or else what are we going to do with all this stuff? You know the dog isn’t going to wear those diapers.”
hahaha
It’s my natural Yankee thrift shining through.
Maybe I could tell all his relatives who’ve asked me “What does --hubby-- want for Christmas?” that what he really wants is baby blankets and diapers.
Merry Christmas to me! Merry Christmas to me! Merry Christmas to Breezy, Merry Christmas to me!
But I said “powerful” and “old” – and whether or not you’re old, I wouldn’t just come out and say it like that! 
Tell him that he has two choices: give me a baby or give me a divorce. Tell him that you want to remarry, to a person who loves babies.
You know how sometimes you lose the remote control? And you don’t want to get up and walk across the room to change the channel?
That’s what kids are for.
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Kids give you a great excuse for why your house is such a mess.
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You no longer have to sneak into all the “kiddie features” at the movies, or surreptitiously watch Nickelodeon on TV. With a kid, you’ve got a built-in reason to watch Harry Potter and the Rugrats.
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If you really want to have a kid, remind your husband that your boobs will get bigger during pregnancy. Of course, they’ll go down again, but his brain will stop working after you say your boobs will get bigger, so he’ll never notice until it’s all over.
10 years and counting until somebodye ELSE has to mow the lawn, wash the car, and shovel the sidewalks.
What Ethilrist said. No more taking out the trash, feeding pets, mowing the lawn, cleaning up various things, clipping the hedges, shoveling snow, raking leaves, …
Forgive me if I’m mistaken, lesa, but I’m confident you don’t have any kids yet. Reason: kids are experts, savants, really, at losing the remote control, putting it in places that you would never dream of. I’ve located my remote control in the microwave, on the bottom of a pile of toys, in the dirty clothes hamper, in the dryer, in a potted plant, outside in the tree house . . . the list goes on.
On the up side, my two older ones are just now able to help out some with putting away the laundry. Not that they like to do it, but something has to justify that $.75 weekly allowance, besides moving dirty clothes to hamper and helping to carry in groceries.
Having a kid around gives you a good excuse to play with Lego’s, Uno, and playgrounds, without embarrassment.
“Honey, all the high-class families have kids. The O’Donnells, the Etheridge/Cyphers…”
What is this ‘allowance’ of which you speak? My rationale is “You eat, sleep, and crap here; and otherwise help filth up the place (what, you think me & your mother fill the sink with dishes every meal?). You can do something around here to help out without expecting to be further compensated.”
beelz–
Allowance is designed to help teach them about how money works, having the freedom (and responsibility) to decide how to spend it (or not). Also can be withheld as a punitive feature.
But I do agree with you that kids should be raised to help out around the house independent of any intrinsic rewards, simply because that’s part of the general responsibilities involved in being a member of the household. So, in truth, I avoid directly correlating their allowances with any specific chores they’ve been assigned.
(sorry for my tangent from the OP)
Yes, but I think you misuderstood. lesa was saying that when you lose the remote, that the kids are the ones that have to get up to change the channel.
You all are too funny.
I think I might have to print this off and show to hubby! haha
Apparently not if you’re poor . . .
Rent this movie. (Or get him to read the book, it’s better (of course).) Pay attention to what Marcus says. That should give you plenty of ammunition.