Help me dress my plus-size mother for a wedding

In My Humble Opinion
1

I wish I could just take her shopping, but she’s in Texas and I’m in WI.

She called me tonight and asked me to send her some of my Lane Bryant catalogs, because she’s having trouble finding something to wear for my sister’s wedding in January (here in WI); she had a knee replaced recently and walking is still a bit tiring for her. She’s not only the mother of the bride, but also the matron of honor. This is a woman who usually shops at Wal-Mart, and she doesn’t want to spend a lot on anything she’s likely to wear only once. I did volunteer to pony up for anything she likes that’s out of her price range, but I don’t know if she’ll take me up on it.

My wedding was no big whoop, and nobody was happy about my sister’s first wedding. But this guy is a winner, and I think it’s going to be a nice wedding – small, but in their new home. So I want my mom to look and feel good for this occasion. So much of her (lack of) self-esteem is tied to her weight, and unfortunately she dresses to her great disadvantage – typical Wal-Mart grandma clothes, too small, and the wrong cut for her shape. I’ve tried steering her toward more flattering styles, but no luck. She just won’t spend the money, and she won’t let me spend it on her. But I think for this I might be able to put her in something nice that makes her look as good as possible.

I’m going to send her a couple of Lane Bryant and Roaman’s catalogs, and I flagged a few items she might like. I also suggested a few plus-size shops she might look for (she’s near Brownsville): Dress Barn, Catherine’s, The Avenue. I KNOW that Junonia would be way out of her range – it’s out of mine! And I don’t think they have anything dressy. She’s also going to check “mall stores” like Penney’s and Dillards.

She’s about 5’4", probably about a size 26. Much bigger in the butt, hips, and legs than in bust and shoulders – a definite pear shape. She wants something with simple lines, not too lacy or frilly or glitzy; hopefully something floor-length or close to it, to hide her legs. “Mother of the bride” style would be OK. Not very tailored, obviously; she is thinking of something like a shift with a long jacket or top over it.

Can any Doper ladies help point me toward some other sources? She has no Internet access and doesn’t like getting junk mail, but I would be willing to sign up for a catalog myself and send it to her, or surf a site and send her some pics.

Any and all suggestions will be appreciated!

2

Google came up with this site: TheRoseDress.com is for sale | HugeDomains - however, I think their 4X might not be quite large enough for your mom. Get someone to take her measurements for her so she isn’t disappointed if something doesn’t fit.

3

If she’s a pear, perhaps she should look into a pantsuit. I am just barely a little hippy and most dressed look pretty bad on me.

4

These are both rather pricey, but maybe your mom could look at some designs to get a sense of what she would like, and have something made for her on a more economical scale.

Anna Brooks

Peggy Lutz I should also point out that Peggy Lutz uses its own sizing, so XS is like for a largish person who is smaller than some other large persons. I appreciate the notion that size is all relative, but it makes shopping a little confusing!

5

You might also consider getting her to find something in the store that she likes and then paying to have it tailored. She’s got a unique body shape (hell, EVERYONE has a unique body shape) so the thing that will fit her BEST (and I don’t mean fitting into it, I mean “fitting”) is something that is built just for her.

It’s really amazing how much a well-tailored piece of clothing can make a difference in how you look. And tailoring is not that expensive, I don’t think. When I lost a lot of weight I took an expensive skirt suit I’d bought to be tailored and the woman did a fantastic job, for like $45.

6

Lane Bryant is having a 30% sale on their suits and such right now. I just bought three of them and I had a coupon so I spent $150 on 3 business suits. Also going into the store and asking the sales associates for help is a good idea. They can put you in something that looks good on you and is in your price range.

7

I love their show and I’ve browsed the book and I think there is a lot of great information there. Check it out.

8

26 stone? Would putting her on a diet be of help?

Anything you dress her in is just goin to draw attention to her being morbidly obese. The only way you could actually turn the view from her, is if you were to be 26+ stone. It is your mother and perhaps you should do this for her.
There is a place in Arizona that I read of recently that provides 8000 kcal burgers…

9

I was just going to suggest this. She could do classic pants with a separate dressy top of some sort. That way she can justify the expense a bit.

10

I would also suggest trying David’s Bridal. The sell off-the-rack, so they have all their sizes available to try on right there. It may be out of her price range, but IIRC, they also have sales quite often.

I’m not sure what their MOB styles are (a lot of the ones my own mother looked at in other stores were more Grandmother of the bride than mother), but it’s another choice if she’s not having luck anywhere else.

11

Don’t be a jerk.

12

Why is that being a jerk?
She IS overweight. Size 26 is not normal for a 5’4 woman.
I don’t care how many fat is beautiful books you read.

If I was trying to be a jerk I would have typed in a page of “Your mommas so fat…” jokes

And if you do consider it to be a ‘jerk’ style comment, why did you go and quote the entire thing?

13

Everything after your first paragraph is not suitable for this forum. We try (with more or less success) to keep the snideness and meanness to a minimum in this forum.

14

My mom got her mother of the bride dress for my sister’s wedding at Coldwater Creek. She was about a size 22, and she looked beautiful!

15

Chadwicks of Boston also has some nice dressier dresses and I see that they do have plus sizes up to 26 (under “special sizes”).

16

Good point, particularly if she hasn’t been wearing the right fit, she may not have a true idea of what her size is. And each catalog or store may be slightly different in how they categorize different measurements.

17

Hi, Scarlett,

I have just lost a lot of weight and have a dress (new, never-worn with the tags still on), that I think would be perfect. It’s a size 24, but it’s a loosely cut, light blue, floor-length, gown with a jacket that goes over it. I used to have a job doing a social column and had to go to a lot of fancy dress balls. I know you said she was a 26, but you never know depending on how the dress is designed.

If you want it, it’s yours (and your mom’s.) Let me know. I wish I had known before I got rid of lots of other stuff.

18

What time of day is the wedding? This one looks nice for an evening wedding, particularly with the sparkly beading.

19

I am a short, plus sized woman and I know how hard it is to find clothes that fit. I also know how hard it is to have people who have never been in your shoes mock you for something that can’t be changed immediately. Even though she is very heavy and probably needs to lose weight much like I do, putting her on a diet today isn’t going to bring her down even one size before the wedding. She needs something that looks good on her and makes her feel feminine and attractive and she can find that at The Avenue, Lane Bryant, Silouhettes, or a number of other places. Every single person on this planet has something that they are not proud of, be it smoking, alcoholism, obesity, etc. and she shouldn’t feel any worse for her problem than anyone else does for theirs.

20

That’s so nice of you!