Help me figure out what to do with my life . . .(Long)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am a 22 year old female, currently working on my master’s in political theory, with one broken engagement behind me. I will have my master’s next May, and my ex-fiance and I are kind of talking again. He wants me to come live with him, out in the middle of (admittedly beautiful) nowhere, where there is very little chance of me finding a job suited to my abilities, dreams, and various degrees. The best is some kind of position at a community college.

I have been accepted to the PhD program at my university, so if I wanted to, I could stay on and get my doctorate. However, the only thing that’s really good for is academia, which I don’t really feel is right for me. What I’ve been thinking of doing is traveling for a while, doing volunteer work in places like Australia and India, and maybe join the peace corp for two years. After that, I could go back and get my PhD, or, get my master’s in foreign affairs and join the foreign service.

My dreams are; in no particular order:
To own my own bookstore.
To travel extensively.
To work on archealogical digs in places like Scotland, to study ancient peoples.
To help countries with their environmental issues (saving the rainforest, endangered species, etc.)

My problem is (finally, you say) do I give up the majority of my dreams to settle down, get married and live in security in a very isolated beautiful part of PA?
Do I follow my dreams, and hope that maybe he’ll still be there for me when I get tired of travelling?
Do I go travelling and join the foreign service and give up any hope I ever had of finding someone to spend my life with?
My family’s kinda leaning towards the whole why don’t you stay and get your PhD and have it all done it at once, but my biggest fear is waking up one day and saying, where did my life go? I view getting my PhD as the easy option, the one I could do out of sheer inertia. But I’m not sure I’m willing to go there countless more years of hell just for the pretty letters after my name.
In other words, a lot of you seem to give really good advice to other people. I’ve been reading this message board for years now, and I’m hoping you guys can help me now too.
No good advice will go unconsidered. Hell, even at this point, I’d take bad advice if it would give some kind of direction to my life!

2

How much do you love the ex-fiance? Why did the engagement get cancelled the first time around? Do you love him enough to be willing to give up everything else in your life to be with him? If you’re “not sure” that’s as good as a “no,” imnsho. Relationships DO require some sacrifices and compromises, but are you really prepared to sacrifice everything for this guy?

Travelling and foreign service don’t necessarily mean you will never meet the right person to spend the rest of your life with. Settling for someone to avoid being alone is never a good idea as it can very quickly lead to resentment and discontent, especially when you start thinking of all the experiences you will never get to have.

As for the PhD - you’re 22 and you have a Master’s . . . there’s no rush to get through the PhD if you’re really ready to go experience life. Don’t try and talk yourself into it if it doesn’t feel right, just to appease the family or do what you’re “supposed” to do.

If you really feel strongly about travelling and fulfilling those dreams, then do it - don’t put it off and suddenly find you’re 70 and too tired to do any of the things you once dreamed of.

3

A little clarification . . .
The engagement ended because he walked out on me. He decided he had too many problems to work through while he was in a relationship, and that he really didn’t want to go to university, or do any of the stuff we had planned on doing with our lives. All he wants to do is live where all his family and friends are, and work a job in a dairy. I have to decide if I still love and trust him enough.

4

It sounds to me like your dreams are bigger than his dreams.

Follow your dreams. Life goes by faster than you think.