Help me find my pants.

At some point last night, I took off my shorts to put on some trunks to get into the hot tub. This morning, I looked for them and couldn’t find them (They have my wallet in them.) I know they’re not in the following places:
My laundry basket
Out on the railing of the deck
In the washer/dryer
Around my waist
In the hot tub

These are all places I’ve checked. Any help? Winner gets… an empty box, provided they pay for materials and shipping.

Were you drunk? If so, they could still be on your head. Or around your ankles. Or on somebody else’s head/ankles.

I checked by my hot tub, they are not here either.

Not much at the time. No, they’re not in either of those places.

have you checked your closet? your bed? the bathroom? living room? all the rooms? they’ve gotta be somewhere unless someone took them.

Do you have pets by any chance? My dog used to steal my underwear and chew at the crotch, my cat just takes anything not nailed down.

My pants often end up under the bed. Unfortunately, I just checked under my bed, and your pants are not there.

Have I checked the following?: Closet, yes, bed, yes, bathroom, yes, living room, yes, all the rooms, not thoroughly, pets, yes, under the bed yes.

They’re probably wadded up and stuffed inside the filter and pump housing because you were afraid of getting them wet. Either that or, have you looked at the bottom of the hot tub?

Aha, update: They were behind my bed, between the window and the bed. The search is over (I am also claiming the empty box.)

I just looked, and they aren’t anywhere here that I can see.
[Emily Litella]

Oh. Never mind…


I was gonna say to check the last place you looked. But it looks like you already did that.

Any time I lose something, it always ends up being in the last place I look. So now I always make sure the first place I look is the last place I look.


I’m no good at finding pants.

I have your pants. And if you ever want to see them again, I demand you free Elmore Stanton right now. !Viva la revolution!

I was sure they were going to be in the refrigerator…

If this ever happens again, check the freezer first. I can’t count the number of times I have found lost pants in my freezer…ok, 7 times. Well 8 if you count the time I put them in there on purpose, then forgot where I had put them for a good hour or so. Sometimes a man just needs frozen drawers.