Help me, gods, I don't wanna play Monopoly no more.

I found the Nintendo version of Monopoly over at www.virtualnes.com the other day and now it’s consumed my life in a most unholy and unhealthy way.

For three solid nights now I’ve played Monopoly here at work, in between calls. And the last two nights were 12 hour shifts. It’s a sickness, a fever in my brain, made worse by the fact that I’ve never even liked Monopoly. But I hit that “start” button and something happens. I crave the suspense as my computerized opponent moves ahead of me on the board and buys a property I wanted, the grim glee when he is broke and I pick up Park Place at auction for $22, the anticipation when the properties are all distributed and the game could still go either way, the mounting nervousness and finally despair when I land on every single hotel the other bastard owns on one trip around the board and have to declare bankruptcy, and the savage delight when I drive my opponent into poverty and ruin.

That last bit doesn’t actually happen very often because I suck at Monopoly.

I’m neglecting my knitting, I’m neglecting my KoL characters, I’m even neglecting the SDMB because of that pixellated little weasel Uncle Moneybags.

And I’m getting ready to head back over there - I can feel it - because I’ve already read through all the forums here and there’s nothing new going on over at Ravelry - oh, gods, I can’t stop myself. I WILL OWN HOTELS ON PARK PLACE AND BOARDWALK!!

I saved the addy, but I refuse to try to start tonight. I’ll see tomorrow between calls. Sigh.

I hate Monopoly, so why am I going to click that link as soon as this posts? WHY?

Um, condolences?

This does not compute.

There is no “sucking” at Monopoly. It’s a game whose result relies almost completely on who manages to land on, and buy up, more good properties first. It is totally devoid of any reliance upon talent or skill.

I’ve simply never understood why it’s such a popular game. I prefer watching paint dry.

I beat Isaac like a redheaded stepchild. Me $14163. Him BANKRUPT!

What’s sad is I don’t think I’ve ever played a whole game before. I had no idea what I was doing.

Monopoly on Pogo. You can play with computers or with live opponents.

It’s blocked for me at work, but I’m trying to figure out if this was a poor marketing idea on Walt Kelly’s part or what.